Work: Today, while bussing at my restaurant job, I felt a cold, wet...

By Anonymous - 23/07/2012 15:41 - United States - Apex

Today, while bussing at my restaurant job, I felt a cold, wet animal slither down my leg. I started shrieking loudly and dancing dementedly to get it off, and everyone in the restaurant turned to stare. Then I realized there was a hole in my pocket and some quarters had slid out down my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 024

You deserved it 8 251

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Same thing different taste

By spoton - 26/01/2017 16:00

Today, I sliced my finger on the register drawer. Not wanting to freak out my customer, I stuck my hand in my pocket and finished giving them change. Now I look like I period-bled through the front of my pants. Only 10 hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 784

You deserved it 853

By ms98 - 05/08/2014 04:52 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I was shopping when I suddenly slipped on the wet floor and my basket and my groceries were flung everywhere. Moments later, one of the cleaners walked over holding a "wet floor" sign, saw me and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 738

You deserved it 3 673

Slipping up

By Anonymous - 06/04/2024 05:00 - United States - Richardson

Today, while I was at work, I didn't have any panty liners so I used tissue. I was taking orders when I suddenly felt the tissue trailing down my leg. I tried not to move, but it inevitably fell through my pants onto the floor in front of my co-workers. I swiftly put it into my pocket. Luckily, it had nothing on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 119

Surprise strike

By Anonymous - 28/06/2020 20:02

Today, as I was walking home with dinner, a pigeon pooped on my leg like a dive bomb. My hands were full carrying the food, so I had to walk the rest of the way with a smear on my jeans that everyone knew what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 362

You deserved it 169

By tori210 - 15/08/2017 16:00

Today, I was walking out of work. I felt like everyone was staring at me but brushed it off. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 459

You deserved it 704

By yesikilledit - 20/11/2018 13:30

Today, I woke up and saw a piece of black fuzz on my shirt. I tried to pick it off but it crawled into my hand and stabbed my skin with its sharp legs. I screamed like a little girl because I had a centipede on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 344

You deserved it 331

By #201 - 05/02/2009 13:23 - United States

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 466

You deserved it 16 549

By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, after buying dinner from the supermarket, I had the change in my hand, and my wallet. In the parking lot, a quarter fell out of my hand, and right next to the street drain. As I went to pick it up, my wallet fell down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 349

You deserved it 11 271

By FattyMcFatterson - 24/06/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 798

You deserved it 82 469

By mmckie - 11/06/2019 22:00

Today, I went into a restaurant with my family. I slipped off my chair, pulling the tablecloth with all the food and drinks on it with me onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 708

You deserved it 431

tennisrapper1 14

Monday 23 July 2012 19:02

The heads on the coins are watching you... So were the people in the restaurant. :P

borkchop1992 15

Monday 23 July 2012 19:03

It was stealthy pedo bear getting into your pants.

Comments

tennisrapper1 14

Monday 23 July 2012 19:02

The heads on the coins are watching you... So were the people in the restaurant. :P

k_ninjaa 9

Monday 23 July 2012 19:04

sorry op.. but this is actually hilarious.

143dav 8

Monday 23 July 2012 20:33

OP should be happy he didn't take his pants off for the fear of being bitten by the "coin animal". Then everyone would've known Victoria's secret...

I_lost_the_game 25

Tuesday 24 July 2012 0:24

I'm curious as to why it was wet.

myFMLname 8

Tuesday 24 July 2012 3:49

6- I've read so many FML's including much funnier ones that this is only slightly amusing

SkoomaKi 27

Monday 23 July 2012 19:02

I honestly thought it was a snail. You could totally play it off that it was a snail.

boating_guy 33

Monday 23 July 2012 19:36

But that'd be bad if they had snails in the restaurant. I feel like it just wouldn't appeal to customers...unless it was a French restaurant

itssosparkly 21

Monday 23 July 2012 19:48

How about pretending it was a snake and turning it into a pick-up line?

idntwannaknow 3

Monday 23 July 2012 20:26

Am i the only one wondering why the quarters felt wet?

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 23 July 2012 21:19

I thumbed you up cause I was wondering the same thing. What the hell is under OPs clothing that the quarters didn't just fall to the ground, AND they felt like a wet animal?

alissa222 15

Tuesday 24 July 2012 2:40

Cold metal has a tendency to feel wet.

jetsown08 21

Tuesday 24 July 2012 5:39

Ah, the wild quarter strikes yet again. This small metallic beast is a shifty one, be careful for it next time OP. The effect of the touch of a primordial quarter can induce effects such as hallucination and insanity, strikingly remarkable to the described symptoms.

jetsown08 21

Tuesday 24 July 2012 5:43

25- That could work. Or perhaps instead of turning it into a pickup line, they could turn it into a movie line about snakes. Hmm, maybe like "I am tired of these motherfuckin' snakes in this motherfuckin' restaurant?"... Yeah, that sounds pretty good. I think I should submit that to Samuel L. Jackson to put into one of his movies, what do you think guys?

qwillis98 20

Monday 23 July 2012 19:03

FYL u thought somethin was on ur leg perfectly normal to freak out

Sawarski 13

Monday 23 July 2012 19:55

Well I don't think "dancing dementedly" especially in the environment OP was in was acceptable.

tehcyberman 9

Monday 23 July 2012 20:07

Regardless of the environment, freaking out isn't smart and you should figure out what it is. What if she had a dog, and the dog was licking her leg or something?