Miscellaneous: Today, the guy I buy weed from invited me to have Easter dinner... - FML

By mel - 25/03/2016 13:20 - United States - Smithville

Today, the guy I buy weed from invited me to have Easter dinner with his family, since I've nowhere else to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 392

You deserved it 5 257

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Same thing different taste

By joi9496 - 01/01/2018 01:30

Today, at age 23, I met my absentee father. He went on about how much he missed me and wanted to know more about me. He then asked if I knew where he could get some good weed, and said he'd share it to make up for all the missed birthdays and Christmases. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 318

You deserved it 412

By CaptainByron - 28/04/2017 00:00

Today, my father contacted me for the first time in close to 2 months. The first thing he did was ask if I wanted to buy some weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 375

You deserved it 312

Merry Xmas

By Anonymous - 26/12/2014 05:59 - United States - Jeromesville

Today, a friend had invited me to Christmas dinner since I have no family close by. When I got there, she told me that her and her husband had forgotten they had another dinner to go to, and asked if I would watch their kids for them. They each grabbed a handful of cookies I had baked and rushed out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 187

You deserved it 2 899

By Anonymous - 24/04/2011 20:55 - United States

Today, it is both my birthday and Easter. My whole family came into town and my mom made a big dinner with all of my favorite foods. After church, I took a nap. When I woke up, all the food, including my cake, was gone. No one thought to wake me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 450

You deserved it 6 861

Miscommunication

By Anonymous - 04/10/2020 04:02 - United States - Holmdel

Today, I went to a going away party for a coworker. I had brought weed for the party and at one point a guy asked me if I have a Grindr. I replied, "No, I don't use those dating apps. I do have a Fetlife but that's it, if you want it." He apparently meant a weed grinder. Most awkward 3 hours ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 1 245

By lonesome - 28/04/2013 05:23 - Canada

Today, my whole family made an hour-long drive to a restaurant that's just a few minutes away from my place. I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 573

You deserved it 3 425

Harry Pothead

By Anonymous - 21/10/2021 17:02 - Canada - North York

Today, my husband said he wouldn't be talking to me for weeks, because I didn't buy him weed. Yeah, I paid all the bills and the rent this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 191

By Potted - 16/11/2015 02:34 - United States - Denton

Today, after my close friend had his baby, he told me that he was no longer going to be selling weed at his house. I was happy for him, because it's unsafe. Until I found out he was still selling at my house with the help of my roommates, without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 956

You deserved it 3 905

By UnknownOperation - 04/09/2012 13:51 - United States - Washington

Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 727

You deserved it 3 981

By Angel - 13/01/2016 13:56 - United States - Charlotte

Today, the guy I'm dating took me to a dinner party at a couple's house. Halfway through dinner, I realized they were having the dinner party for the sole purpose of introducing him to their recently single daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 196

You deserved it 1 758

Next

Top comments

loueasy 23

Friday 25 March 2016 16:06

The ham won't be the only thing that's smoked

gobroski 11

Friday 25 March 2016 16:06

That's nice....

Comments

gobroski 11

Friday 25 March 2016 16:06

That's nice....

haileyrows 26

Friday 25 March 2016 16:06

At least you now have somewhere to go- it'd be more of an FML if no one would have you over.

Danne696 14

Sunday 27 March 2016 10:45

I completely agree. It's not like him being a pot-dealer makes him any less of a person, he knew OP didn't have anywhere to go so he opened up his home to give him a place to celebrate.

loueasy 23

Friday 25 March 2016 16:06

The ham won't be the only thing that's smoked

teentee401 36

Saturday 26 March 2016 19:23

I would've said baked.

Jstick 10

Friday 25 March 2016 16:06

Maybe you can get some more weed

rosha267 21

Friday 25 March 2016 16:07

That's so sweet!

CoupeDeAce 6

Friday 25 March 2016 16:07

You know you're a pothead when your dealer is your best friend.

A1NoSauce 17

Saturday 26 March 2016 5:35

Does it count if your best friend happened to become a dealer?

UserError94 18

Friday 25 March 2016 16:14

420 braze it anyone?

pedinhuh 23

Friday 25 March 2016 16:17

Try to get some of that weed for free!

more4me 27

Saturday 26 March 2016 0:36

I don't agree. The guy is being nice to you by opening his home. Just be nice in return and don't take advantage of him . Of course, if he offers, then it would be rude to refuse, right ?

squigglez11 10

Friday 25 March 2016 16:18

Bring some weed

vikky538 28

Friday 25 March 2016 16:19

That's ! I donno what to say

Arkham_Callabero 15

Friday 25 March 2016 19:46

So instead of not commenting anything at all you decided it's best for us to know that you have nothing to say?

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The Top

Today, my mom came into my room, yelling at me about a pregnancy test that she found in my bathroom. My mom wouldn't believe me when I said it wasn't mine. Turns out my sister bought the test, threw it under my bathroom cabinet, and now she won't admit to the prank. She thinks this is hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 368

You deserved it 3 639

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say, "Fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "Pollo frito". I then had sex, constantly saying "Pollo frito" for an hour. I later realized I was saying "Fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 479

You deserved it 183 605

The Top

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why period blood couldn't be saved and donated to the hospital for transplants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 678

You deserved it 2 441

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my pet lizard eating my other pet lizard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 905

You deserved it 3 785

Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 545

You deserved it 100 516

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 539

You deserved it 62 300

Today, my friend got drunk. We tried to get him into a cab, he punched me in the face, three chavs then accosted me, accusing me of trying to mug him. I was then beaten up by said chavs and then the police charged me for being drunk and disorderly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 298

You deserved it 3 463

Today, I was tested positive for Covid-19, after suffering with some of the symptoms of the disease two days ago. Last week, I had to pretend I was infected with it to avoid going to a friend's party, as my ex-girlfriend would be there. Ain't life a bitch? FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 1 387