Miscellaneous: Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight,...

By -_- - 13/05/2015 16:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 134

You deserved it 3 199

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Same thing different taste

Let her have her fun

By WHY GRANDMA - 17/06/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 155

By lovingthis - 09/01/2013 16:48 - United States - Largo

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 188

You deserved it 5 239

By notsoclean - 24/12/2010 21:14 - United States

Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 463

You deserved it 3 694

By Brie - 05/09/2011 13:00 - United States

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 197

You deserved it 3 202

Eye bleach

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 01:39 - United States

Today, my grandparents are in town for the weekend and are staying in our guest bedroom. This morning I went upstairs to get a drink of water, only to see my 75 year-old grandfather standing stark naked with the fridge door open. He then asked me if we had any coffee creamer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 490

You deserved it 2 896

Not funny

By Anonymous - 09/10/2015 18:02 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, while having lunch with my grandparents, my grandpa's eyes glazed over, his head fell and he slumped in his chair. I started panicking and almost cried, thinking he was dead. Then he laughed and said "Just kidding. I'm fine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 166

You deserved it 2 696

By dummy - 22/05/2009 05:12 - Canada

Today, my grandpa took out the family for dinner and paid for everyone. He paid the bill and my family and I were waiting by the door. I realised I probably should thank him for dinner. I turn around without thinking and give him a big hug and say thanks for dinner Grandpa. It wasn't my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 300

You deserved it 44 888

By Unappreciated Grandchild - 06/11/2012 07:59 - United States - Bel Air

Today, I looked over to see my grandfather looking thoughtfully at me. Feeling flattered because he rarely shows affection, I waved at him. He then said, "I was looking out the window" and continued to stare past my head out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 880

You deserved it 2 135

By lvegadelgado_6 - 10/08/2015 14:32 - United States - Deerfield

Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 546

You deserved it 2 128

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 12:52 - United Kingdom

Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 309

You deserved it 2 983

cdgrayson 21

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:33

Your grandpa has a better sex life than most of us on this site...

brvnnx 18

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:38

Grandpa didn't choose the Thug life, the thug life chose grandpa.

Comments

ghetto_child 19

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:31

someone's gettin' lucky tonight!

sonasonic 34

Thursday 14 May 2015 0:56

Definitely ain't OP... Brain bleach anyone? Double concentration.

aseus 9

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:31

LOL

LeavenSilva 27

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:32

Now we all have that mental image too....

cdgrayson 21

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:33

Your grandpa has a better sex life than most of us on this site...

mountainmanmike 11

Thursday 14 May 2015 0:01

Speak for yourself!

MrSassypants 32

Thursday 14 May 2015 2:47

I agree with #18. Speak yourself. My hand knows exactly what I want.

samthestud13 10

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:36

Balling since 1944

Attacksloth 33

Thursday 14 May 2015 2:47

Ball gags since 1944*

Qwermy 16

Saturday 16 May 2015 7:33

he invented balling

brvnnx 18

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:38

Grandpa didn't choose the Thug life, the thug life chose grandpa.

91hayek 31

Thursday 14 May 2015 0:50

*Still D.R.E starts playing*

muzy 23

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:38

It don't get smoother than that! you're grandad sounds like a legend, OP. Though he could have spared you on the detail.

xxlittlemsanime 24

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:39

I guess being freaky has no limit.

funneh1 21

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:42

My thoughts exactly.. lol

FieldLeftBlank 20

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:41

Ask him for some tips.

bwinski 19

Friday 15 May 2015 10:59

the only one getting a "tip" is granny apparently..

funneh1 21

Wednesday 13 May 2015 23:41

Oh my....haha. What an awful mental image even though this made me laugh.

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The Top

Today, I got a warning at work for wearing my ear studs. Not only have I worn them the whole time for the last year I was here, I was unaware of this “rule.” I also was just told that the female employees are allowed to wear them, but men are not. “It looks unprofessional.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 134

Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 904

You deserved it 74 242

The Top

Today, a coworker sent a last-minute request for a highly complex custom report based on a spreadsheet. It took most of the weekend and Monday to get right because he'd screwed up most of the calculations. The client was pissed; they'd wanted it done by 5PM GMT that Friday. He'd sat on the request until 5 EST Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 81

Today, it was my first day working as a dental assistant, leaving me in charge of all cleaning. The first patient was so scared, he peed his pants. Which might have been understandable if he hadn't been a fully grown man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 485

You deserved it 2 471

Today, my daughter and her friends (who are all deaf) came home from college to get ready for a big ASL event, or so I thought. The event is Comic Con for the deaf and the girls stayed up late, signing about “all the dick they were going to catch” and using lazy euphemisms. I understand ASL; they didn’t care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 120

You deserved it 356

Today, I put my ironing board away in the bathroom. After closing the door, I heard a loud noise. The board had opened up while falling over, taking up the width of the room. I can't open the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 702

You deserved it 3 795

Today, my son had been grinning like a damn fool all day. When I tried to take a bath, I realised why. The idiot put superglue on the inside of my prosthetic leg this morning and I didn’t notice for nearly 15 hours. I can’t get the damn thing off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 996

You deserved it 281

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 933

You deserved it 41 662

Same thing different taste

Let her have her fun

Eye bleach

Not funny

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