Animals: Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch,...

By BadBreath - 09/04/2009 03:43 - United States

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 670

You deserved it 9 391

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Same thing different taste

By FrozenAnonymus - 14/07/2016 18:05 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 851

You deserved it 1 520

By Noname - 02/02/2009 04:31 - United States

Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 810

You deserved it 7 057

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 336

You deserved it 32 285

By aaalias34 - 26/02/2010 11:13 - United States

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 983

You deserved it 8 455

By frenchpop1960 - 23/02/2009 21:58 - United States

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 370

You deserved it 41 843

By Keyser Soze - 17/01/2017 09:56

Today, I was cleaning out the cabinets under my kitchen sink and I farted with such force that my dog thought someone was knocking at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 645

You deserved it 1 021

Vicious dog

By onefmlafteranother - 15/11/2019 01:00

Today, I was laying my head on my dad's dog when he walked in. I jokingly asked my dad, "I'm cuddling with your dog, are you jealous?" At that moment, the dog lets a massive, earth-quaking fart and my dad promptly responded, "Nope!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 681

You deserved it 581

Thanks for the support

By Anonymous - 01/03/2024 15:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I came home very tired from a bad day at work, and really just wanted to relax on the couch for a while. My cat jumped into my lap, wanting affection. I was petting him, thanking him for his emotional support. He reciprocated by noxiously farting in my face and running away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 142

Alarm

By Anonymous - 09/08/2012 14:26 - United States

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 583

You deserved it 4 007

By Swabidizop - 18/05/2015 20:40 - United States - Greeley

Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 042

You deserved it 8 048

Jaxro 6

Thursday 9 April 2009 12:13

And why was your dog's ass in your face? You would think it would be facing you, maybe licking your face.

Kimienxtc 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 12:13

Awww Your dog loves you! :)

Comments

Kimienxtc 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 12:13

Awww Your dog loves you! :)

josiej0j0 0

Friday 11 March 2011 4:32

why was the dog's butt in your mouth???

squishy01 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 7:58

And that is why I own a cat.

Jaxro 6

Thursday 9 April 2009 12:13

And why was your dog's ass in your face? You would think it would be facing you, maybe licking your face.

chrisbom5 0

Monday 19 April 2010 13:12

maybe she was licking the dogs ass for comfort.

GrammarFailure 0

Monday 17 May 2010 15:15

Lol'd. Hard.

evebright 5

Wednesday 19 October 2011 14:49

Ditto

lolfahnny 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 12:14

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWN_AL9vrbc Smelling a fart is bad. Tasting and breathing it is a whole 'nother level of disgusting.

Jimboom 11

Thursday 9 April 2009 12:23

Lol. Your dog is awesome! But yea, why was his ass right in your face? At least your not feeling sorry for yourself any more.

amy397123 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 12:32

I'm sorry that you had a horrible day but this is one of the funniest FML's I have ever read. I loled so hard.

hk_fml 9

Thursday 9 April 2009 13:04

lmao xD That sucks, I hope your day got better from that point

tolduso 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 13:05

your dog's ass was in your face wtf?

tipple 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 13:22

I hope you kept you teeth closed just in case there were any lumps...

Emmett_Luver_101 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 13:29

*gags @ 11* this is funny but i have one intelligent thing to say EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW E=Mc2

shani__ 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 13:40

#12 - wtf? E=Mc2? what has that got to do with a dog's farts? #11 - LOL #10 - I agree! OP - What WAS your mouth doing on your dog's ass? That's almost as bad has hammylove's. (anyone notice their name is BadBreath, haha!) http://www.fmylife.com/sex/878433