By Anonymous - 08/12/2013 20:39 - United States

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML
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You deserved it 5 785
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Top comments

NessaMae 19

Maybe your husband should keep his thoughts to himself. You never know who can hear you when you mutter. Even if you think no one can.

373 20
auro7 18

Wow, seems like he went balls deep on that one. No..? Okay.

277 9

Comments

NessaMae 19

Maybe your husband should keep his thoughts to himself. You never know who can hear you when you mutter. Even if you think no one can.

373 20
cheshirecat13242 32

Santa Clause hears you when you mutter..

86 4
JCRouzer29 27

Some guys have great hearing but most girls and I'd say all good mothers hear EVERYTHING!

34 1
miasaur 11

yes, women hear all and see all

6 22
Zimmington 21

I think he secretly wanted her to hear it.

38 1
incoherentrmblr 21

#85: So, women are the government now?...

4 7
Blavock 12

Maybe the mother should learn to take a joke and stop being a bitch

3 10
Kamon97 23

Why the hell would he say that? >.

185 24
Welshite 39

His mother-in-law stiffed him on some cookies. That's grounds for a fight. Honestly though, he sounds immature. The fact that he could be heard from a completely different room suggests that he wanted to be heard.

86 5
greeneyebeauty9 28

I don't know. I'm surprised he had the balls to say it, though.

46 1
Odis12 11

I can't be the only one who laughed uncontrollably about this. Can I? Well then..

50 4
gotaplanstan 28

cuz hes a winner and a keeper, obviously

11 5
Bigfabthetruth52 22

Ur not.as unwarranted to the comment was that shit was pretty funny.

2 31
Zimmington 21

What in the **** are you trying to say #73?!

41 1
Zebediabolical 39

He probably said it because he wants his balls gargled.

16 3
Karcasm 7

#69, you're not alone. Teehee, 69.

8 1
booboohoney 12

Wow your husband is a bit rude and childish.

158 24
BlueFlatts 20

Everyone has been a bit rude and/or childish like this at some point. Whether or not it gets posted on FML for everyone to judge is a different story.

21 4
Genociiide 15

Real men aren't that childish only little boys are.

9 46
emily689 25

He needs to learn to keep those comments to himself..

7 2
Zimmington 21

You're a bit shallow and pedantic.

5 1
AnOriginalName 19

But #76, how will he communicate his hopes and wishes if he doesn't speak up?

1 3
auro7 18

Wow, seems like he went balls deep on that one. No..? Okay.

277 9
airforce987 20

1)Get family members at war with each other 2)Sell weapons to both sides 3) ?????? 4) Profit

206 5
theaaxis 27

Welcome to the United States of 'Murica.

0 5
Enslaved 36

"Got an AK-47 for his best friend Business the American way"

0 2
eddeeezzyy 19

If both sides of your family are of the same ethnicity, I guess you could consider this as a civil war.

3 31
botanistjessica 24

Ethnicity has nothing to do with civil wars.

18 2
eddeeezzyy 19

That's true, my mistake. I guess I was thinking differently because of recent wars. For instance, the Syrian rebels vs. Syrian Gov and Libyan rebels vs. Libyan Gov.

4 2
faihai44 1

Your husband is a ******* disrespectful twat people like that should go to hell

Zimmington 21

#6, you do know that in the Bible it says condemning people (saying they should/would/are going to hell) is a sin in itself right? So you'll be there right along with him... Have fun

40 3
cjlerch 29

#90 is right. Condemning people is a sin in itself. And I may as well point out that his picture goes along very nicely with his comment.

0 0
Welshite 39

That was uncalled for. Your husband needs a stern talking to.

36 46
raisinbam 13

She didn't catch her son smoking pot, idiot.

6 32
cyttex 13

Welshite is not an idiot, don't be rude.

18 7
abhi95 31

I bet your mom approves of him now! After all these years! Who'd have known..

52 5
alshygirl 14

My mom would beat my husband's ass if he said that

73 5
cheshirecat13242 32

25--what about lawl?

3 21
Welshite 39

A dyslexic person once misspelled "wall". His friends thought it was funny so it stuck.

13 29
conman531 23

Lol is a word. OMG is too. They have been added to the English dictionary. Genius

2 44
Dthsapprntc 23

I just had to look up lol now and it is in the dictionary, Merriam-Webster to be exact, as an abreviation. So still not a word. Same for OMG.

30 2
Enslaved 36

Omg-- Is that like "scuba" and "laser"? Lol

5 7
boating_guy 33

technically I think so. but the other abbreviations have enough vowels/vowels in the right places to actually constitute being a word. where trying to pronounce the three letters "omg" it just sounds kind of funny, and is commonly known to stand for something longer

8 1
Zimmington 21

#9, Your mom needs anger management & a sense of humour.

2 15
slickchrome 11

I forgot what the fml is about

1 2
conman531 23

God I'm sorry that was not meant for this person! Now I feel bad

0 0
Bano360 25

Rude? Maybe. It's definitely hilarious.

6 4