Feels bad, man. I mean, I guess you could have asked her if she had plans before doing that cooking, but it's not like humans are clairvoyant. She could have 'at the very least' been grateful for the meal. Maybe something is wrong though if she's simply blowing you off for her friends. While she's not obligated to tell you anything, relationships should be built upon trust and she could have at least informed you she had plans.

No appreciation at all. How about next time, if she asks why you didn't do anything, say that you were hurt by her actions.

I’ve seen too many such relationships among my male and female friends and I don’t think this will work out. If she doesn’t show any sign of appreciation she most likely never will. Unless you are a deeply submissive male who gets some sort of kink out of this reversal of traditional roles and her behavior you might end up permanently frustrated. Clarify your position and if she doesn’t see what’s wrong she’s the wrong girlfriend and for sure no partner for the rest of your life.