Work: Today, at work, a bag of driveway repair tar split and spilled...

By RetailJocky - 15/08/2017 13:00

Today, at work, a bag of driveway repair tar split and spilled on my arms and hands. Not only does it stain and pull out any arm hair it touches, the stains also look like I was playing in dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 404

You deserved it 295

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/06/2019 06:00

Today, I was picking up after my dog with a poo baggie over my hand, like a mitten. Too bad the bottom ripped open and my bare hand poked through it just as I grabbed a big handful of steaming dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 840

You deserved it 299

By UkuleleTime - 10/06/2015 05:25 - United States - Garner

Today, I worked in a shoe store. As I was removing the shoes off an older man I felt a squish, and pulled back my hand to see brown and yellow. The man then looked at me and said, "Looks like I missed a spot." Dog crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 177

You deserved it 1 852

By shitlicker - 08/12/2015 04:38 - United States - La Verne

Today, I lost my balance trying to get my bag out of my car. In doing so, my lips came in contact with some bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 177

You deserved it 2 138

By Anonymous - 28/12/2010 08:13 - United States

Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 652

You deserved it 5 477

By cathugger - 13/07/2019 16:30

Today, while hurrying by bike to an appointment, my chain broke. I quickly got off the road and managed to fix it on the sidewalk, covering my hands in black smear. Dirty but confident about my repair skills, I got up. A second later, felt something warm running down my neck. Bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 921

You deserved it 130

By Btdtgts - 25/03/2017 14:00

Today, I had to take out the grease traps from our fryers. A very rude co-worker cut me off, so I had to abruptly stop and try to prevent as much spilling as possible. Luckily, it only spilled on me. I'm here for six more hours with burned, smelly, greasy spots all over my skin and clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 601

You deserved it 325

Good boy

By Anonymous - 06/10/2023 19:30 - Canada

Today, I took my dog to the park. It had recently rained, and he started rolling in something unidentifiable. When I got home, I discovered it was a mixture of mud and who knows what else. Now my house smells like a swamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 253

By anonymous - 02/02/2010 17:32 - France

Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 538

You deserved it 4 266

By firecrotch - 04/06/2010 05:36 - United States

Today, I work at a pizza place and one of my jobs is to spoon crushed red pepper into bags. After I finished this, without thinking to wash my hands first, I used the bathroom. It still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 805

You deserved it 35 428

By Anonymous - 10/11/2011 17:07 - Ireland

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 823

You deserved it 7 669

buckdharma 36

Tuesday 15 August 2017 13:40

Oh, that's nothing, op, Just tar? If you were having a really bad day, I'm pretty sure there should be some feathers?

Lobby_Bee 17

Tuesday 15 August 2017 20:36

Your arm must be silky smooth now. Win!

Comments

buckdharma 36

Tuesday 15 August 2017 13:40

Oh, that's nothing, op, Just tar? If you were having a really bad day, I'm pretty sure there should be some feathers?

Glowworm56 26

Tuesday 15 August 2017 16:27

Eh, just roll with it, and pretend you are prehistoric mammal on the brink of extinction.

Lobby_Bee 17

Tuesday 15 August 2017 20:36

Your arm must be silky smooth now. Win!

Lobby_Bee 17

Tuesday 15 August 2017 20:37

Your arm must be silky smooth now. Win!

SnailRail 10

Tuesday 15 August 2017 22:34

Use WD-40 to remove the stain and any asphalt attached to skin and hair. Working in conjunction with an oil refinery; this is how we remove asphalt.

Stiggy626 25

Wednesday 16 August 2017 8:11

kerosene works really well too

GoogieWithers 22

Wednesday 16 August 2017 2:26

Well at least you will get a seat to yourself on public transport.

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You deserved it 91

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You deserved it 309

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I agree, your life sucks 35 051

You deserved it 17 844

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I agree, your life sucks 47 389

You deserved it 5 589

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I agree, your life sucks 27 657

You deserved it 2 352

Today, it was a normal day working as a medical receptionist, until I told a wheelchair-bound patient to “take a seat” out of habit. She responded with, “I brought my own!” I have never felt more embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 292

Today, my "friend" almost killed both of my cats by feeding them chocolate donuts, even after I slapped one out of his hand and spelled out to him exactly why chocolate is bad for cats. Just to rub more salt into the wound, I got pulled over for speeding while I was driving like mad to get to the vet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 148

Same thing different taste

Good boy

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