Work and Health: Suspense

Suspense

By krray - 11/03/2017 22:00

Today, I was walking up the stairs with my lunch behind a heavy co-worker. His arms were full, and step by step, as we went up the stairs his pants dropped a little further. By the time we reached the top, his knickers were below his knees and it was a full moon. I prayed he wouldn't fart on my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 997

You deserved it 711

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/01/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 953

You deserved it 3 807

By Anonymous - 01/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Greenville

Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 036

You deserved it 1 735

Almost there, we're almost there…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2020 08:02 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I was rushing to walk home because my stomach was upset. I dodged multiple people, getting closer and closer, got my front door open, got up my stairs, and then lost control of my bowels on the top step. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 351

You deserved it 103

By anonymous - 15/01/2012 05:58 - United States

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 556

You deserved it 7 666

By Brendan - 19/02/2011 21:23 - Canada

Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 967

You deserved it 4 144

An attempt was made

By bubblewrap - 20/10/2015 10:13 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 768

You deserved it 11 914

Weak

By Heavybreather - 13/02/2017 12:00 - United States - Athens

Today, after climbing 5 flights of stairs I walked into the restroom to take a piss. I was winded but trying to keep my heavy breathing to a minimum. My plan failed when I almost fainted inbetween two guys at the urinal and started gasping for air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 862

You deserved it 1 122

Symphonic

By Anonymous - 30/01/2014 22:46 - United Kingdom - Preston

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 816

You deserved it 4 913

By Boss Troubles - 17/03/2015 06:12 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my boss insisted I go in front of him up the stairs. Out of respect, I insisted he go first. After a few seconds of back and forth insisting, he went. The reason he wanted me to go first was because he had to fart. I inhaled the raunchy gas for over three flights of stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 827

You deserved it 12 370

By Mark - 30/03/2009 07:06 - United States

Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 446

You deserved it 74 933

Burle 17

Saturday 11 March 2017 22:27

I don't understand why you would walk directly behind a bare ass, maybe just put a little space between the loaded gun and yourself?

jcash52426 5

Saturday 11 March 2017 22:22

Why didn't you tell him his pant were falling or help him carry the the stuff upstairs.

Comments

waleedma 18

Saturday 11 March 2017 22:02

Suspense is no killing me!!!!

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 11 March 2017 22:10

Just say no to crack!

jcash52426 5

Saturday 11 March 2017 22:22

Why didn't you tell him his pant were falling or help him carry the the stuff upstairs.

Talis99 26

Sunday 12 March 2017 13:55

My guess is, if they're making a story like this, they're a jerk.

Mowmee 14

Saturday 11 March 2017 22:23

Imagine how awkward it was for him!

SpaceToast 25

Saturday 11 March 2017 22:24

Why didn't you bring this to his attention, and offer to hold his items, or something, while he pulls up his pants? I would've been humiliated of I was your coworker D:

Lepisma 38

Saturday 11 March 2017 23:20

It says op was also carrying something (namely, lunch - presumably on a tray or some such), so op's hands were full, too.

Burle 17

Saturday 11 March 2017 22:27

I don't understand why you would walk directly behind a bare ass, maybe just put a little space between the loaded gun and yourself?

Whispra 5

Sunday 12 March 2017 0:04

As awkward as that was for you it had to be twice as bad for him. Why didn't you offer to carry or at least hold something while he fixed things?

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 12 March 2017 0:56

Why does it matter that he was heavy? Would you not have cared if he'd been skinny? I wouldn't want an ass near my food no matter whose it was or what size it was.

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 12 March 2017 3:55

I'm praying your lunch was a tossed salad. Please say it's so!

mariri9206 32

Sunday 12 March 2017 6:16

Why were you walking directly behind him? Have you not heard of personal space? And did you not warn him about his pants falling down? Sure, he probably already knew but, still, letting him know is the human thing to do and he could've injured himself. Also, why even mention that he's "heavy"? It should have zero relevance. YDI.