Today I slid my car into a ditch and had to walk home in the...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By perrin1701 - 20/02/2018 21:12 - United States - Saint Joseph

Today I slid my car into a ditch and had to walk home in the sleet and freezing rain. I got home and found my gf of two years took all her stuff and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 4

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Work Gross Coworkers TMI Racism Kids Scary Customers Geek Gamers Technology Miscellaneous Neighbours Animals Health Insects Insurance Plumbing Awkward Money AITA Love Cheating Roommate Pregnancy Wanker Intimacy Mental health Poopoo peepee Parents

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Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 258

You deserved it 14 929

Today, I was talking with a close friend (who is a virgin) about why he didn't want to have sex with a prostitute. He told me that, "It's not nice to know that the girl you are having sex with has slept with half the country." He then added, "That's exactly why I wouldn't have sex with you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 230

You deserved it 65 208

The Top

Today, I visited my son at his university accommodations and noticed he's clearly never cleaned it since he moved in two years ago. I tried cleaning it myself, but gave up entirely when I found what looked like mushrooms growing out of an old takeout container. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 801

You deserved it 2 478

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterwards tried to comfort me by saying there'd been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 477

You deserved it 5 084

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 104

Today, I was alone in my dorm room rehearsing comments to make in my writing class tomorrow. I grew up with a severe stutter, and rehearsing like this is one of the ways I keep my speech under control. What I didn't plan on was my roommate walking in. I think she now thinks I'm schizophrenic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 785

You deserved it 2 977

Today, I was pulling into a parking garage space and using the next car over to judge where the wall was in front of me, but ended up whumping my front bumper as I pulled forward. Wondering what had happened, I got out to see that the car I was aligning myself against had hit the wall too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 376

You deserved it 26 931

Today, my husband decided to imitate Borat and shout "Very Nice! I Excite!" while having sex. He's also decided that it was ingenious and does it every single time, the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 610

You deserved it 5 435