FML : Your everyday life stories

Today, at work, I received flowers from a Tinder fling gone wrong. He constantly flipped out on me and then would apologize. I finally got tired of it and blocked him on all social media. The scary part is that I never told him where I work. FML

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You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Saturday 1 September 2018 03:30 /

Today, I borrowed my friend's truck to move. After unloading everything, I worked up a killer appetite and went to a drive thru. I found some Germ X in the truck, so I could eat on the way home... or so I thought. It turned out to be anal lube. I covered my hands in it. FML

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You deserved it

By Why Me - / Wednesday 15 August 2018 04:00 /

Today, my "friend" returned my Survival Edition of Fallout 3. I should be happy, but he scratched it all to hell. My dad paid nearly $500 for it. He refuses to pay for it to be fixed or buy me a new one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By LennyFace134 - / Tuesday 7 August 2018 22:00 / Canada - Burlington

Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML

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You deserved it

By tristaph - / Wednesday 1 August 2018 00:00 /

Today, my landlord refused to send a plumber over to unclog the sink. Now he wants me to pay for water damages because he didn't call a plumber sooner. FML

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You deserved it

By jeauxann - / Friday 11 May 2018 23:59 /

Today, my 2-year-old learned how to open the fridge lock. I came out of the bathroom to what she called a "scrambled egg breakfast". FML

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You deserved it

By Amber Rutledge - / Saturday 27 January 2018 00:00 /

FML's Christmas Bingo!

Cross off each subject as it is mentioned during your Christmas with family and/or friends!

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By Alan - / Monday 25 December 2017 17:30 /

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Thursday 19 October 2017 21:00 / United States - New York

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Wednesday 18 October 2017 21:00 / United States - New York

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Monday 16 October 2017 14:30 /

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Saturday 14 October 2017 08:29 / United States - New York

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Friday 13 October 2017 14:30 /

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Thursday 12 October 2017 14:30 /

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Wednesday 11 October 2017 14:30 /

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Tuesday 10 October 2017 14:30 /

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Monday 9 October 2017 08:30 /

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Sunday 8 October 2017 08:30 /

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Saturday 7 October 2017 14:30 /

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Friday 6 October 2017 14:30 /

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Thursday 5 October 2017 14:30 /

Halloween Struggles

Do you have your Halloween costume picked out yet?

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By FML Approved - / Wednesday 4 October 2017 08:30 / United States - New York

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Monday 2 October 2017 22:30 /

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Thursday 28 September 2017 08:30 / United States - New York

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Monday 25 September 2017 14:34 /

Today, I moved in with my in-laws and don't yet have money to pay rent, so I'm keeping to myself and staying out of trouble. While trying to write a thank you card, I spilled black ink all over the new rug and it bled through to the carpet. I might need to find a new place to live. FML

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You deserved it

By Goober - / Wednesday 20 September 2017 14:30 /

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Friday 15 September 2017 14:36 /

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Thursday 14 September 2017 14:34 /

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Wednesday 13 September 2017 14:30 / France - Paris

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By FML Approved - / Monday 11 September 2017 14:31 /

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By FML Approved - / Sunday 10 September 2017 14:32 /

FML

The Top

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she...

Today, after faking my orgasms for several years, I found out that my boyfriend has been telling his friends that I'm super loose because he doesn't feel...

Today, I scrambled up some eggs and found that I was out of pepper. I used pepper spray instead, thinking it would be the same thing. FML

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my phone rang. We continued to have sex while I took the call. It was my gyno calling to tell me that I tested...

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Nearly

Today, the blinker on my car is broken so I decided to play it safe and drive a different car to work. I guess it wouldn’t have mattered which car I drove...

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Today, I am vegan because I'm allergic to meat and milk. I also just found out I'm allergic to wheat, soy, corn, most leafy greens, stone fruit, legumes,...

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World

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Australia

Today, after having severe acne for 7 years and trying every affordable option available to fix it, decided that I would splurge on a $230 face cleanser....

New Zealand

Today, my wife and I got back from our cruise ship holiday. It was intended to be ten nights of relaxation and romance. The first five nights she had her...

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Photos

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Spicy

Today, after years of telling my boyfriend I don't do anal, I agreed to try it once just to get him to stop whining about it. He was so gung-ho that he...

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You deserved it

Today, one of my residents was having super loud sex. I'm an RA in a college freshman dorm, and I had to knock on her door and tell her to quiet down....

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You deserved it

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