Money and Health: Today, I went to Starbucks to get my free birthday coffee and...

By Coffee - 06/08/2018 16:30

Today, I went to Starbucks to get my free birthday coffee and due to a mistake I received two. Thinking it was my lucky day, I hurried off to work. As I was walking in, I tripped and spilt one coffee all over my new dress. Then I walked into a door and spilt the other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 872

You deserved it 1 097

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By UsuallyaUnicornbread - 26/11/2014 21:01 - United States - Morrisville

Today, I went to get myself a latte to make myself feel better after having a bad day. As soon as I sat down to enjoy it, I spilled it all over myself, another customer, and the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 565

You deserved it 3 320

By burnnnnn - 22/02/2010 01:31 - Ecuador

Today, I was walking with a friend after buying two cups of steaming hot coffee. While crossing the busiest street in town I tripped and fell, spilling the coffee all over me. My friend didn't notice I fell right in front of her and tripped over me spilling her coffee on me as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 450

You deserved it 2 814

Butter fingers

By SplashOuch - 05/01/2010 17:58 - United States

Today, I was walking out of Starbucks when I sneezed, causing coffee to burn my nose. I screamed, dropped it, and sent scorching coffee all over my legs, while dropping everything else I was holding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 945

You deserved it 7 191

Butter fingers

By flop of shame - 17/08/2019 16:00

Today, I was walking into work holding a coffee and a bunch of other things. My employee saw me and held the door. I was almost there when I dropped my coffee, tried to catch it, tripped over the curb and fell flat on my face. I heard the door close while still lying there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 647

You deserved it 189

I'm not okay

By butterbody - 23/03/2014 23:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a coffee shop. As I headed over to stand in line, I tripped over my own feet. I got back up, then tripped up yet again. Everyone was staring, and I was so mortified that I went to leave. I then struggled with the door under their glares before realising it opened the other way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 023

You deserved it 6 801

You tried

By Anonymous - 22/01/2021 00:01 - Australia

Today, my colleague was wearing a beautiful dress. I decided that I had to go over and compliment her. As I walked over, my coffee cup flew out of my hand and onto said dress. She had to go home and change, and my boss had to cover for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 414

By Anonymous - 11/11/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 239

You deserved it 4 253

In through the out door

By NeedTea - 21/12/2018 06:00 - United States

Today, I stopped at Starbucks to get tea before work and was surprised that there wasn't a line. As I was leaving, the automatic door closed, knocking my tea out of my hand. I headed back in, only to discover a huge line had formed and they made me pay for the replacement that their door spilled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 016

You deserved it 781

By ClumsyBarista - 20/12/2016 05:04 - United States - Springfield

Today, while serving a line of ten customers by myself at the coffee shop I work at, I knocked over a cup of steaming hot milk and it went all over the coffee bar, espresso machine, floor, and myself. I then had to act like everything was fine and make a line of drinks with milk everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 977

You deserved it 1 054

By Anonymous - 23/07/2009 07:00 - United States

Today, I saw an elderly man struggling to make it across a busy street. I jumped up from my table at Starbucks to help him, leaving my things behind. When I got back to my table feeling good, I found that my coffee had disappeared. So had my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 371

You deserved it 25 699

RichardPencil 30

Monday 6 August 2018 16:52

Looks like karma decided not to wait until your next life to screw you over for stealing someone else’s coffee. Happy birthday, ya crook.

Zekfen 17

Monday 6 August 2018 18:57

I don’t know what is worse, that you think getting peed on by somebody is better, or that others agree with you.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 6 August 2018 16:52

Looks like karma decided not to wait until your next life to screw you over for stealing someone else’s coffee. Happy birthday, ya crook.

chosha_fml 26

Tuesday 7 August 2018 0:23

Except they probably made two for OP by mistake and knowingly let her take both.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 7 August 2018 3:26

That's possible, but it's funnier otherwise.

Emma Marshall 19

Tuesday 7 August 2018 8:13

Yeah they're totally a crook when the barista is the one at fault. Ya weirdo.

Charlie Given 26

Monday 6 August 2018 17:13

Well a coffee shower is better than a golden shower for your birthday but Happy Birthday anyway 😋

joeyl1990 28

Monday 6 August 2018 17:20

And that is where we disagree.

Zekfen 17

Monday 6 August 2018 18:57

I don’t know what is worse, that you think getting peed on by somebody is better, or that others agree with you.

weaboo 12

Monday 6 August 2018 23:39

That’s not what it means... ask google what it means if you wanna know more

chosha_fml 26

Tuesday 7 August 2018 0:25

That’s exactly what it means.

blightsight 10

Monday 6 August 2018 20:29

How do you walk into a door?

Davros 12

Monday 6 August 2018 20:50

John Lennon singing: Birthday karmas gonna get you. Door gonna spill coffee in your face. When you walk into work, gonna spill all over the place.

jbuckets_404 38

Tuesday 7 August 2018 15:57

OP, this WAS your (very) lucky day! (Just simply the wrong form of luck: bad) :-(

tounces7 27

Friday 10 August 2018 6:52

Clearly you should have drank some of the coffee before going anywhere so you'd be awake first.

Keywords

Relatable Work Awkward Parents Job interview Love Facebook Social Media Jealousy Friends Relationship advice AITA Kids Roommate Shoes Annoying Music Names Customers Money Education Capitalism Gamers Weird Bodyshaming Coworkers Landlords Allergies Dogs Embarrassing

The Top

Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 033

You deserved it 705

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 260

You deserved it 14 933

The Top

Today, I went to a hockey game. While warm-ups were happening, my favourite player pointed at me and tossed me a puck. It bounced off my hand into another girl's, who was a fan of the other team. She refused to give it back, then walked away and said, "I can't wait to sell this on eBay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 063

You deserved it 2 427

Today, I stepped on the MacBook Air I purchased 4 days ago. The screen snapped in two, and I didn't buy insurance because I promised myself I would be "extra careful." $3500 well spent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 825

You deserved it 70 544

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 209

You deserved it 6 668

Today, every girl I’ve dated since high school has falsely accused me and spread rumors of me beating them, and of being an “abusive boyfriend.” This is now my reputation around this city. The one thing they all have in common is they each cheated on me with the type of guy they accuse me of being. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 139

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 848

You deserved it 9 855

Today, my mother met a new member of my band. He's a piano player from Mexico City. She introduced herself as my mother, then asked him if he spoke Spanish or Mexican. This lead to a long talk about how they speak Spanish in Mexico too. She didn’t believe him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 86

Same thing different taste

Butter fingers

Butter fingers

I'm not okay

You tried

In through the out door

Top comments

Comments