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Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend gave me a squeaky dog toy because "I don't know why, but it made me think of you." FML

By rupture-imminente - / Wednesday 12 July 2017 21:00 / France
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By unefoispasdeux - / Tuesday 4 July 2017 21:00 / France - Paris
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Today, I got into a car accident. I hit a pole in the middle of the night trying to avoid a car that was coming at me head on. Actually, it was just the reflection of my own headlights in the windows of a bus stop. FML

By Lili - / Tuesday 27 June 2017 21:00 / France
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By Elmine - / Monday 19 June 2017 21:00 / France
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  Today, my boyfriend was blowing his nose when out of nowhere he started laughing and said, “hey, my nose is exactly like you in bed, I have to finish if off with my finger to get the job done.” FML

By Lap - / Monday 12 June 2017 17:19 / France - Paris
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Today, I found out that I was a father, that my son is married, that his wife is pregnant, and that he and his wife would like me to take care of their eldest son during the end stages of the pregnancy. FML

By Anonymous - / Sunday 11 June 2017 21:00 / France
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By chercheurdusmartphone - / Friday 9 June 2017 17:44 / France - Paris
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Today, after 4 years of trying to convince my husband, a landscaper, of the risks of skin cancer, he finally decided to put on sunscreen. Why? His horoscope told him to take care of his skin. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 3 June 2017 21:00 / France
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  Today, I was on my period and I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend. I told him upfront and he responded simply, “I work in a butcher shop, I’m used to having blood everywhere.” FML

By Volcan - / Thursday 1 June 2017 17:42 / France - Paris
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Today, during a family meal, my mother-in-law asked me to list the foods I didn't like, which includes bananas. For some reason my husband felt it was necessary to specify: "except mine!" FML

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 30 May 2017 21:00 / France
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By Anonymous - / Thursday 25 May 2017 21:00 / France
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Today, I was extremely stressed because I lost my ATM card, so I reconstructed my day, eventually finding it in the freezer. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 20 May 2017 21:00 / France - Paris
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Today, I was out for a walk with my family when we saw a sign that read "you are here." That's when my son asked, "how do they know where we are?" My son is 14 years old. FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 19 May 2017 21:00 / France
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Today, I had a job interview. After two hours of commute, thirty minutes filling out questionnaires, and fifteen minutes of actual interview, the recruiter told me the post had already been filled. FML

By Anonymous - / Sunday 14 May 2017 21:00 / France
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Today, my 21 year old daughter introduced me to her new boyfriend. I had to call him "sir" for two reasons: he's 59 and he's my boss. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 11 May 2017 21:00 / France - Paris
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Today, after a long series of tests, I found out that I’m sterile. My wife is currently pregnant with our second child. I think I have some questions for her. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 6 May 2017 21:00 / France
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  Today, my boyfriend, a math teacher, wanted to recite multiplication timetables while making love in order to come less quickly. He could only recite up to the number 5. The timestables turned him on. FML

By hannahpasdebol - / Tuesday 2 May 2017 17:39 / France - Paris
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By hannahpasdebol - / Tuesday 2 May 2017 17:39 / France
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Today, I forgot to pick up my grandmother at the train station. My mother was livid. My father, moved, told me, “for the first time in my life, I’m proud of you.” FML

By TheCure - / Monday 1 May 2017 21:00 / France - Paris
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Today, as we were exchanging little affections in bed, my girlfriend suddenly burst into tears. I insisted on knowing why. She had just realized how much she missed her ex. FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 28 April 2017 21:00 / France - Paris
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By GI2017 - / Wednesday 26 April 2017 21:00 / France - Paris
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By Excalibur - / Sunday 23 April 2017 21:00 / France
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  Today, I can confirm that at 85 and 87 years old, it is indeed possible to have a sex life. Grandpa, grandma, thank you for having dispelled my doubt. FML

By ... - / Thursday 20 April 2017 21:00 / France
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  Today, in the middle of 69ing, my girlfriend put my dick on her forehead and announced “I’m a unicorn!” FML

By rockonbaby - / Friday 13 January 2017 17:33 / France
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  Today, I was talking to my new boyfriend, when he told me, “listen, I’m not the greatest at sex, so if you want to come, you’ll have to do it yourself." FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 23 December 2016 17:23 / France
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Today, I came back from the hospital after back surgery which required putting screws in my spine. My children spent all day trying to stick magnets on my back. FML

By Anonyme - / Sunday 18 September 2016 01:42 / France - Vendenheim
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By legrand - / Wednesday 14 September 2016 08:11 / France - Grenoble
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  Today, I had to take my parents to the hospital after a failed attempt at a Kamasutra position. FML

By coinceducul - / Sunday 24 January 2016 17:31 / France
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  Today, it’s official, 2016 was the most catastrophic year for me, sexually, having had sex a total of zero times. It wouldn’t be so bad if I hadn’t been married for 6 years. FML

By desperatewife - / Friday 1 January 2016 01:47 / France
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By SexOnTheBeach - / Sunday 11 October 2015 03:34 / France - Livry-gargan
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