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By Karls - / Wednesday 19 September 2018 09:30 / Australia
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By ouchy - / Saturday 15 September 2018 13:30 / New Zealand - Nelson
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By Embarrassed - / Friday 14 September 2018 00:00 / Canada - Whitby
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Today, I was cleaning out my little sister's bedroom as she moved out and left a huge mess. I found her wearable vibrator. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 13 September 2018 00:00 / Canada - Ottawa
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By Lindora - / Tuesday 11 September 2018 19:30 / Canada - Richmond Hill
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By lunarclaws - / Tuesday 11 September 2018 06:00 / Netherlands - Brielle
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Today, my girlfriend finally came over to watch a movie with me after weeks of being really busy. As a treat she brought chocolate cookies, which she knows I can't eat. I am allergic to chocolate. FML

By Chocolatehater - / Saturday 8 September 2018 18:30 / Netherlands - Wageningen
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By brokeandalone - / Saturday 8 September 2018 03:30 / Macedonia - Skopje
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Today, I tried to repay a friend's kindness by taking her visiting brother out for lunch while she was at work. He must have misread my friendliness, as he ended up following me home. I had to call the cops. FML

By stopfollowingmemeansstopfollowingme - / Saturday 8 September 2018 04:30 / Australia - Matraville
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Today, we had an assembly with my entire grade to elect the graduation committee. When I got up to get nominated for the yearbook team, I stumbled and face-planted on stage. In front of 89 people. FML

By Sound - / Thursday 6 September 2018 18:30 / Germany
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By housemate from hell - / Tuesday 4 September 2018 21:30 / Australia
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By Baddrunk - / Tuesday 4 September 2018 09:30 / Australia - Brisbane
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Today, after I mentioned my boyfriend on a cheesy Facebook quote, he told me to check the post. I then saw my old comment with my ex's name in it. FML

By Mic - / Monday 3 September 2018 21:00 / Philippines - Guevarra
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By Anonymous - / Sunday 2 September 2018 14:00 / United Kingdom - Wakefield
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By CharlesEmersonW - / Sunday 2 September 2018 02:30 / Romania - Timisoara
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Today, I'm afraid to show my face in church ever again after I farted too hard and shit myself there this past Sunday. I'm the priest. FML

By oops_i_did_it_againnn - / Saturday 1 September 2018 09:00 / Canada - Welland
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Today, my dad forgot my Canadian permanent resident card. We could be stuck in an airport in Japan for a while. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 1 September 2018 06:30 / Japan - Hirakata
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By uh, ask your dad... - / Friday 31 August 2018 12:30 / Australia
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Today, I learned that my mum makes it a habit to listen at the door whenever I'm on the toilet to make sure my "bowels are in tip-top shape". FML

By why is there no 'family' category? - / Thursday 30 August 2018 16:00 / Australia
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By sufia - / Thursday 30 August 2018 23:30 / Pakistan - Lahore
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Today, I really realised how bad my anxiety had gotten when we got our corporate photos done for work. My smile was shaking so much the guy couldn't take my photo. FML

By Shaky - / Thursday 30 August 2018 09:30 / Australia - The Gap
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By cozzza - / Wednesday 29 August 2018 19:00 / Australia - Perth
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Today, while I was talking to my boss, he got a call from "babe". The number that was calling him was my girlfriend's. FML

By nobody - / Monday 27 August 2018 21:00 / Ireland
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Today, I lost my Job, got in a car accident, and got dumped by my now ex-boyfriend because he is madly in love with my stepsister. I hope this day doesn't get worse. FML

By Fayetale - / Monday 27 August 2018 18:30 / Germany
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By Chantraine - / Sunday 26 August 2018 19:30 / United Kingdom
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Today, I was woken up early because the baby wallaby I am hand-rearing wanted food. She achieved this by peeing all over my pillow, and subsequently in my hair. FML

By WallabyMom - / Sunday 26 August 2018 14:00 / United Kingdom - Wolverhampton
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By kotolokacja - / Friday 24 August 2018 06:00 / Poland - Plock
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Today, I woke up in an amazing mood and practically jumped out of bed, only to fall flat on my face. In my half-asleep daze I'd forgotten that I'm missing a leg. FML

By 4lphaNum3R1c4l - / Thursday 23 August 2018 13:30 / United Kingdom - Feltham
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By Anonymous - / Thursday 23 August 2018 14:00 / Australia - The Gap
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By Wethousennofun - / Thursday 23 August 2018 02:30 / United Kingdom - Walsall
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