FML : Love, Your everyday life stories

Today, a man easily 30 years older than me said hi in a bar, but I didn’t engage. Apparently that meant "Please rub your junk on my leg." FML

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By Anonymous - / Wednesday 19 September 2018 13:30 /

Today, I found out that my best friend, the love of my life, is no longer engaged. He's now married. I wasn't invited. FML

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raven_of_azarath Say more :

This actually happened a few months ago, and I was more upset that I wasn’t invited cuz my roommate I was good friends with had also just gotten married but didn’t invite me, despite me having been part of the proposal, and I found out that I wouldn’t be able to afford to travel to my brother’s future wedding that I have been invited to. I am moved on now, and while he will always hold a special place...

By 43vera10n3 - / Wednesday 19 September 2018 01:58 / United States - Huntsville

Today, I went on a date with a guy and he kept winking at me. I thought it was really sweet until later that night he told me he had Tourette's. FML

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By Brianna Michelle Ferrell - / Tuesday 18 September 2018 13:30 /

Today, I found out my boyfriend of 7 years has been cheating on me with my friend's 18-year-old sister, took her on the vacation we planned, and will be starting with my company next week. FML

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By Godwhy - / Monday 17 September 2018 14:00 /

Today, I was dumped for the second time in 24 hours. First it was by text. Obviously I was not happy. He called drunk in the middle of the night to apologize and profess his love. I told him to get some sleep and think about it. The next morning he called to dump me again. FML

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By holydamn - / Sunday 16 September 2018 16:30 / United States - Clearwater

Online Dating = Brutal

Today, I realised just how lonely I am. After using Tinder for about a week, I got my first match. I said hi while I was in class since I was excited, but by the time I'd gotten back home, she'd unmatched me. I've never felt so hurt by a complete stranger before. FML

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By kirbykylestorm - / Sunday 16 September 2018 20:30 /

Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML

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By Scorned - / Sunday 16 September 2018 06:00 /

Today, I was talking to a nice guy on a dating app and we exchanged numbers. Later, I got a call. It was his wife asking me to stop talking to her husband. FML

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By Nykole McAllister - / Saturday 15 September 2018 17:30 / United States - Baltimore

Today, my fiancé accused me of cheating and broke up with me. I texted his best friend, who I've never talked to before, to see if he could talk some sense into my ex. Turns out he has several fiancées and was cheating on me since day one. FML

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By Anonymous - / Saturday 15 September 2018 18:30 /

Today, my dad demanded that I break up with my cheating boyfriend. With that revelation, I did some investigating on my own. The other woman is apparently my boyfriend's "cute little" Marshadow that slaughtered my dad's "godlike" Incineroar in a 3DS battle they had. FML

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By Daughter of a Dork - / Friday 14 September 2018 17:30 / United States - New York

Today, my girlfriend and I hosted a family game night with her grandparents and her father, who was bringing his "friend" who he'd been dating for a couple of weeks. It was my mom. FML

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By Anonymous - / Friday 14 September 2018 14:30 / United States - Edinburg

Today, my husband was arrested on 2 felony charges in a sting. We've been married 5.5 years, had almost enough money for a down payment on a house, were trying to get pregnant, and had a non-refundable trip to London planned. We are now broke and on the verge of divorce. FML

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By Fooled Wife - / Friday 14 September 2018 14:30 /

Today, I was texting with my childhood crush late at night and we were exchanging secrets. I figured this was as good a time as any to tell her about my long-standing crush on her. Turns out she's a lesbian. FML

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By Anonymous - / Friday 14 September 2018 01:30 /

Sobering.

Today, I'm on vacation with my best friends. We went to a club and I drunk texted my girlfriend of 1 year about how nice everything is and how much I miss her. She responded by breaking up with me because she likes me more as a friend. FML

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By Bambusmaster - / Thursday 13 September 2018 18:50 /

Today, I slept alone again in bed. After travelling 15000 km across the world to be with my long-distance husband, he has refused to kiss or hug me in the week I've been here. I never thought I would be in a sexless marriage. FML

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By Alin - / Thursday 13 September 2018 14:30 /

Today, after being together for 8 months, I learned that not only was my boyfriend a liar, but that he is also married and has been for 4 years. FML

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By Danny - / Wednesday 12 September 2018 20:30 /

Today, I got home to find my dog had found and eaten my wedding rings. I get married in 2 days. FML

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By brooklyn0118 - / Wednesday 12 September 2018 15:00 /

Awkward...

Today, I went to this coffee shop in town that has a fire pit outdoors with my boyfriend. I threw out the idea of sitting by the fire together, and he responded by telling me that his father and dog died in a house fire when he was young. FML

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By Sunny - / Wednesday 12 September 2018 07:30 / United States - Milwaukee

Today, I've been seeing this girl for three months. After asking her if she'd like to go out to eat with me, I realized that she never called me by my name, just "hey you". While we were out, I wondered what she had me saved as, so I texted her when she got up to use the restroom. It was "free food". FML

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By gman - / Wednesday 12 September 2018 03:30 /

Today, I spilled my guts out to my fiancé about some insecurities I've been having. I then turned to look at him through tears at his expressionless face as he texted someone. FML

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By aoliver03 - / Tuesday 11 September 2018 18:30 /

Today, I found out that even after having had my tubes tied, I am in fact pregnant. I have an 8-month-old son and his father just remarried another woman 2 months ago. Neither of them believe that the new baby is his. FML

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By how the fuck did this happen?! - / Tuesday 11 September 2018 04:00 / United States - Hesperia

World

Today, I discovered my boyfriend enjoys anime, just like me. I discovered this when he said he wanted me to imitate and dress up as an underage character from his favourite anime next time we have sex. When I refused, he got upset and said he thought I would understand. FML

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By lunarclaws - / Tuesday 11 September 2018 06:00 / Netherlands - Brielle

Today, after 20 years together and 9 years of marriage, I found out that my husband has been having an affair with my cousin for 6 years. The same cousin who came over every Friday. Who he wanted to be godmother to our 3 kids. FML

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By Anonymous - / Tuesday 11 September 2018 03:30 /

Today, at gym class, coach placed the boys on an "advanced level" rope climb by having a girl cling on their back. I got paired with my crush. As he climbed, we were trailing behind so I cheered for him to go faster. He loudly responded, "Why don't you go on a diet!?" FML

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By Dulok Warrior Princess - / Monday 10 September 2018 19:30 / United States - New York

Today, my financially-struggling boyfriend found a $100 bill on the ground. He has not paid for a date since 2013. Today, it's also my birthday. He spent the money on takeout. For himself. FML

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By SpaceWitch - / Monday 10 September 2018 22:00 /

Today, at lunch, I was talking to my friends about having a boyfriend. Suddenly, some boy I don't even know said, "Nobody wants to date that ugly bitch." FML

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By izzy_the_pessimist - / Monday 10 September 2018 18:30 /

Today, I discovered that my fiancé and I had vastly different definitions of monogamy. Don't worry, he only did it when he was mad at me to remind him how much he loved me. I found out from my best friend. FML

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By Well then - / Monday 10 September 2018 03:30 /

Today, I finished my 83-page thesis for my Stanford class and put it on my desk. Then, as a prank, my girlfriend hid it. She forgot where she put it. The thesis is due in 3 days. FML

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By Batman - / Sunday 9 September 2018 23:30 /

Awkward...

Today, I moved in with my friend and her husband so we can be roommates during school. Today is also the day they decided to get a divorce. It's going to be a long year. FML

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By Ohnowhy - / Sunday 9 September 2018 18:30 /

Today, my boyfriend blocked me from every form of contact. He told my friend that we broke up, but never told me. I still have his clothes in my house. FML

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By lonely - / Saturday 8 September 2018 22:00 /

Happy birthday !

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FML

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she...

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Today, after faking my orgasms for several years, I found out that my boyfriend has been telling his friends that I'm super loose because he doesn't feel...

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Today, I scrambled up some eggs and found that I was out of pepper. I used pepper spray instead, thinking it would be the same thing. FML

4

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my phone rang. We continued to have sex while I took the call. It was my gyno calling to tell me that I tested...

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Today, I somehow managed to drop my phone in such a way to crack my screen but not my screen protector. FML

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Today, my ex started white trash screaming at our son at a cub scout meeting, for being a crazy, excited 6 year old, and stormed out when I put a stop...

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Today, after having severe acne for 7 years and trying every affordable option available to fix it, decided that I would splurge on a $230 face cleanser....

Today, my wife and I got back from our cruise ship holiday. It was intended to be ten nights of relaxation and romance. The first five nights she had her...

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Today, one of my residents was having super loud sex. I'm an RA in a college freshman dorm, and I had to knock on her door and tell her to quiet down....

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W.T.F.

Today, while getting dressed, I discovered that when my brother and his friends got drunk last night one of them wanked into a pair of my panties and put...

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