FML : Love, Your everyday life stories

Today, I got a stern talking-to from the police about threatening and harassing people. Who had called them? None other than my stalker, whom I'd just informed about the restraining order I was filing against him after finding him in my house. For the second time. FML

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By Jinx - / Monday 21 August 2017 22:15 / United Kingdom - Dorchester

Today, after being single for a year, I finally have a boyfriend. Today, my chronic nightmares also started up again after being gone for a year. Apparently I'm allowed to have either a love life, or sleep. Not both. FML

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You deserved it

By cacheson - / Saturday 19 August 2017 20:00 /

Today, my raving lunatic mother screamed at me for being "disrespectful", threatened to not pay for my college, swore at me, and accused me of having multiple personality disorder, all in rapid succession. This was provoked by me sneezing. FML

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You deserved it

By sonofawackjob - / Friday 18 August 2017 17:15 / United States - Syracuse

World

Romania

Today, I went on my first date in a year with a guy I met just a couple hours ago. I went back to my hotel to get better dressed and met him at the bar. I brought my purse, he brought his girlfriend. FML

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You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Thursday 17 August 2017 22:45 / Romania

Today, I was at my bf's house (we are long distance, about 5 hours apart). I found an entire drawer of another woman's clothing and belongings. He told me that they were his ex's, but I don't believe him. I thought he was the love of my life and I'm realizing I'm just his side piece. FML

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You deserved it

By madafgf - / Thursday 17 August 2017 04:30 /

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. How you may ask? He used the adult swim "we should see other people" commercial. FML

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You deserved it

By internetloser - / Wednesday 16 August 2017 16:15 / United States - Kewaskum

Today, I received a text from my girlfriend's female best friend that they have been dating for the last month. This was the week of our one year anniversary, and my birthday. We just moved into a duplex with my name on the lease. FML

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You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 15 August 2017 21:30 / United States - Milwaukee

Today, my girlfriend's dad refused to give me permission to marry his daughter because I'm "covered in gang tattoos" and he doesn't want his daughter marrying a criminal. The only tattoos I have are the Game of Thrones direwolf and a quote from the Lord of the Rings movies. FML

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You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Monday 14 August 2017 13:00 /

World

Netherlands

Today, I asked my boyfriend to meet me in the park to talk. Just when I wanted to break up, he knelt down on one knee and proposed. I had to reject him in front of a whole crowd of people. FML

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You deserved it

By rubyroyal123 - / Sunday 13 August 2017 21:45 / Netherlands

World

Switzerland

Today, my mother pointed out to me how much my fiancé looks like my brother. She's right. I never noticed before, but now I can't unsee it. I don't think I'll ever be able to touch him again. FML

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You deserved it

By deerlord - / Saturday 12 August 2017 21:45 / Switzerland - Zurich

Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML

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You deserved it

By LonelyAF - / Saturday 12 August 2017 13:00 /

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is currently dating a girl who lives in Korea. We broke up because I was moving to a different part of the city for college and he thought the distance would be "too much." FML

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You deserved it

By longdistancemyass - / Friday 11 August 2017 23:15 /

World

Czech Republic

Ya Dun Goofed

Today, I finally went out on a date with a cute guy. At the end of the date he said, "hey I'm hungry, I've got pasta at home. Do you like pasta?" I replied without hesitation, "not much, I'm gluten-intolerant." I realized about 3 hours later that he probably wanted to invite me to his place. FML

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You deserved it

By AngelNi - / Friday 11 August 2017 21:45 / Czech Republic - Brno

Today, my mother-in-law and I were having a lovely chat about my partner, until, she asked me if "he was good in bed?" and saying things like "I've seen it, great length. I'm jealous." FML

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Scoobz Say more :

OP here!! Can't believe that this actually got posted! My mother-in-law and I have a unique, open relationship... Quite traumatic at times though. We're like good friends, that sometimes take it too far. Thank you all for your comments!!

By Didn't want to hear that from you - / Friday 11 August 2017 10:46 /

Today, I had to watch as my deeply religious mother broke out in tears of joy, as she said how happy she was that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. I didn't have the heart to tell her that my fiancé and I fucked on the first date. FML

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You deserved it

By Sorrymom - / Friday 11 August 2017 01:30 /

Been There

Today, a coworker and I had our second date at my place. He wanted to show me pictures of himself in some club, where he had been a member in highschool. He started typing his name into the google search bar and it suggested his name from when I had googled him months ago. FML

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You deserved it

By PeppermintPenny - / Thursday 10 August 2017 20:00 /

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted him to be a little more masculine and dominant in the bedroom. He broke up with me because I'm not "feminist enough". FML

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You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 9 August 2017 13:00 /

Today, my boyfriend forgot to pick me up from work. We work at the same place. FML

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You deserved it

By Sugartits - / Tuesday 8 August 2017 13:00 /

Today, my girlfriend gave me a two weeks' notice for our relationship. FML

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You deserved it

By "mysteryguy3039" - / Monday 7 August 2017 20:00 /

Today I took my girlfriend to the cafe where we had our first date, with the intention of proposing. Moments before I took the ring out, some sleazy old guy said "how are you two fine babes single on a Saturday?" He refused to leave us alone even when we said we were on a date. FML

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You deserved it

By Lesbian - / Friday 4 August 2017 13:00 /

Time to grow a beard?

Today, my girlfriend told me she won't have sex with me anymore. When I asked her why, she said I've lost too much weight and I look like her son. Her son is 4 feet tall & 9 years old. I'm 6 feet tall & 30 years old. She said having sex with me feel like having sex with her son. FML

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You deserved it

By Ben - / Thursday 3 August 2017 23:00 / United States - Lansing

Today, I came up with the idea of pranking my girlfriend by telling her that I knew she was cheating on me. She then apologized. FML

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You deserved it

By petmosch - / Friday 4 August 2017 00:30 /

I Ain't Saying She a Gold Digger

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend a few years after I slept with his boss and got him fired. He is now a multi-millionaire investor and won't take me back. FML

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You deserved it

By fuckmee - / Tuesday 1 August 2017 05:00 /

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for sneezing too many times during Game of Thrones. FML

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You deserved it

By now my watch begins - / Monday 31 July 2017 04:00 / United States - Simi Valley

Today, after my boyfriend ignored me for hours playing video games, he gave me some attention for a little bit. When I tried to run my fingers through his hair, I missed and punched him in the face. FML

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You deserved it

By Johna Richardson - / Sunday 30 July 2017 20:00 /

Today, my co-worker offered me sweets, then chocolate and then biscuits. Repeatedly. She knows I'm trying to diet for my wedding. She does this every day. FML

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You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Saturday 29 July 2017 19:00 / United Kingdom - London

My Love Life in a Nutshell

Today, I was at a concert and I thought the cute drummer was winking at me, so I winked back. Then I realized he was blinking sweat out his eyes. FML

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You deserved it

By shadybarbie - / Saturday 29 July 2017 13:00 /

16 Hilarious Emoji Fails from Tinder Users Whose Emojis Totally Backfired on Them

On Tinder, there’s a lot of pressure to be clever, but not everyone is good with words. That’s why some people have decided to let...

By Nina - / Saturday 29 July 2017 02:00 /

A Poopy Proposal

Today, while on a weekend away, my boyfriend and I went for a walk. I now get to tell everyone the story of how my boyfriend got down on one knee into a pile of cow shit while proposing. FML

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You deserved it

By aliciababy24 - / Tuesday 25 July 2017 21:00 / Australia - Ashburton

Today, my boyfriend said he's in love with another woman and is leaving me. This wouldn't be as bad if I weren't seven months pregnant. FML

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You deserved it

ByteMuch Say more :

OP here. First of all thank you all for your kind support it was nice to see so many positive comments :) He will be involved in our child's life and I agree with all of you who have commented that it's better that this happened now than later and possibly behind my back. We're working things out :)

By bytemuch - / Monday 17 July 2017 15:04 /