FML : Holidays, Your everyday life stories

Today, my fiancé forgot his wallet. He realized this once we were 5 hours away from home, before checking into a hotel, that had reservations under his name. FML

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By cincity - / Friday 20 July 2018 15:00 /

Today, I went to a Christmas-themed amusement park with my 21-year-old autistic sister who adores Christmas. She took her picture with Santa and started crying happy tears. Then Santa asked her loudly, "Aren't you beyond old enough to know I'm not real?" Vacation ruined. FML

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By MerryChristmas - / Sunday 15 July 2018 14:30 / United States - Moore

Cropped Out

Today, my cousins cropped me out of a picture of all 6 of us at a wedding, then captioned it, "We have such a good-looking family!" FML

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By steph - / Sunday 15 July 2018 09:00 / United States

FREEDOM

Today, some idiots set off fireworks close to my house. I was a bit worried, but my uncle assured me it would be fine and left to run an errand. Just minutes later, I looked up to find the tree right next to my wooden balcony engulfed in flames. FML

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By Idontlikefireworks2 - / Saturday 7 July 2018 19:00 /

Today, I came back from a holiday with in-laws who don't speak English. After taking a dump and not being able to flush, I realised they had turned off the water prior to the holiday. I had to show them my poop to explain they had no running water. FML

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By WaterNeeded - / Thursday 21 June 2018 20:30 /

Today, nearing the start of what I was hoping to be a relaxing week off, my air conditioning system died. A replacement system will be in the $7000 range, just the amount I'd finally saved for my dream vacation. FML

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By Radbaby - / Wednesday 20 June 2018 01:30 /

Today, I’m pet-sitting for my parents while they’re on vacation. So far, one cat has projectile vomited all over the living room, and another has pooped in their bed. Twice. My parents were not concerned when I called, and said this is normal behavior. FML

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By tenniemo - / Monday 11 June 2018 17:39 / United States - Green Valley

Today, I got a call that my custom order bridesmaid dress is at the apartment complex I just moved out of. They won’t give it to me because I’m no longer a resident, but they just thought I should know. The wedding’s tomorrow. FML

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By budgetboss - / Friday 8 June 2018 18:30 / United States - Granbury

Today, my mother knocked on the door of my room at 7am. I am currently over 300 miles from home, on a vacation to get away from my overbearing family. I told none of them where I was going. FML

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By Anonymous - / Sunday 3 June 2018 01:30 /

Today, my new bikini must be cheap as shit because I tanned nicely where I put on sunscreen, but where I didn’t apply it under the bikini I’ve gotten super red sunburn on my butt, my lady bits, and my boobs. My nipples look like the ends of red felt tip pens. FML

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By Anonymous - / Friday 1 June 2018 06:00 /

Today, I found out that my parents are extremely active swingers by finding their online profile with photos of my mom with a dildo. I guess those out-of-town trips weren't just holidays. FML

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By RubyRed213 - / Wednesday 30 May 2018 05:00 /

World

United Kingdom

Today, it’s my birthday. My family has spared no expense; cake, balloons, decorations, new outfits... nothing is too much. Oh, it’s not for me. They’re celebrating the Royal Wedding. FML

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By RoyalFail - / Friday 25 May 2018 04:02 / United Kingdom - Wallasey

World

Romania

Today, my dad told me that he, my stepmother, my siblings, and my grandmother are going to Egypt for a week. A week ago, he told me they didn't have the time or money to visit me in Romania where I'm an exchange student. I've been here almost a year. FML

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By seriously - / Thursday 24 May 2018 02:30 / Romania - Bucharest

Saboteur!

Today, after spending all night packing for my 5am flight to Brazil, my cat peed all over my open suitcase. FML

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By Juancames3 - / Wednesday 23 May 2018 01:30 /

Nice Try.

Today, my husband suggested that I spend my three weeks of summer vacation alone with our four children, so that he can spend his going birdwatching by himself. FML

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By Anonymous - / Saturday 12 May 2018 15:00 /

Today, I married my best friend in the whole world at a small romantic venue. By that I mean I married my actual best mate while completely hammered at a drive-through wedding chapel. My fiancée is gonna kill me when she finds out. FML

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By Anonymous - / Saturday 12 May 2018 01:30 /

Today, I tried to redeem a gift certificate my fiance and I had been given for a free romance package at a hotel. The hotel closed permanently four years ago. FML

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avocadopurse Say more :

OP here! A few things: the gift certificate was given to my mother, who gave it to me. It was not a gift-giving occasion she was trying to cop out of, she simply found it in a box one day and thought I'd get better use of it. The real fun was that a completely different hotel took over this one and continued to use the same phone number, so it took nearly 20 minutes with a very confused guest service...

By Avocadopurse - / Tuesday 1 May 2018 16:54 /

Today, I’ve been up since 5am getting everything ready for the beach. This is the first nice weekend we’ve had this season. I have a dressed toddler asleep on the couch and grown ass man that refuses to get out of bed. Today it’s 80 degrees. Next weekend is 50 degrees. FML

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By BeachBummer - / Saturday 21 April 2018 19:00 /

Today, after spending 12 hours desperately searching everywhere I could think of, I'm forced to admit I left my wedding ring in the bathroom of the hotel suite we just spent our honeymoon in, on the literal other side of the planet. I am a dead man. FML

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By Anonymous - / Wednesday 18 April 2018 15:00 /

Today, I bought a tail for my girlfriend to dress as a cat at a hen party. She put the box in her suitcase, then left to catch her plane. I checked my purchase history and realised it's a cat tail butt plug. Now she keeps ringing me, but I'm too chicken to answer the phone. FML

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By Honest mistake - / Wednesday 18 April 2018 05:00 /

Today, I realised yesterday was my 30th birthday. What made it worse is that my parents forgot, along with my other relatives and friends. No cards, no texts, no calls, no Facebook messages. Nothing. Happy 30th to me. FML

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By Anonymous - / Saturday 14 April 2018 15:00 /

Today, after a year of saving up and travelling for 14 hours, we were denied entrance at the Indian border because there was a rip in my boyfriend's passport. The reason for the rip? He used one of the pages to roll a joint. FML

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Doortje Say more :

Follow up! We flew home together. To be honest, it didn't even occur to me to go without him. It was a very weird and stressful situation, badly handled by the Indian authorities. I was DEFINITELY pissed off, and spoke the words "That'd better have been the best fucking high of your fucking life". But I also knew that he'd used his passport for this purpose when he was 19 (we were 25 at the...

By Doortje - / Monday 9 April 2018 17:11 / United Kingdom - Sheffield