RipperoniPizza Say more :
OP here. I'm pretty surprised this got published, it's my one and only fml that I've ever made. It's actually a pretty long story, we've kinda both had a thing for each other and actually dated for a very brief time before (never kissed though hence the "amazing" first kiss between us) but she didn't think she was comfortable and decided that maybe we should just stay friends. I was perfectly ok with...
By RipperoniPizza - / Thursday 22 March 2018 23:50 /
CaptainShalliwaffle Say more :
Op here: Nope, it didn't smash the toilet, it literally cut it right down the middle and got stuck there. It was just this huge, metal edged mirror balanced against the wall by the toilet and I nudged it over. Did pay for the repair but it took weeks as the plumber messed up the job. She had to use her neighbour's bathroom for over a fortnight.
By OhCrap - / Friday 2 March 2018 09:56 /
By Anonymous - / Thursday 1 March 2018 11:44 /
tr3yr Say more :
While I must say I thought that was a good idea... I did just that. Her response, “She did not care as long as he does not bring anything home to her.” I also found out that she filed for a divorce though but she said it was to “just teach him a lesson because he did not tell her.” When I confronted him he just kept lying and saying how he wanted to be with me but couldn’t think of being without his...
By tr3yr - / Tuesday 27 February 2018 17:06 /
rubberduck_of_doom Say more :
OP here! OMG I saw this FML and that it was from Austria and then I thought hey I'm from Austria too. Then I read the FML and thought HEY THAT'S MINE!! AND IT WAS =D.. I'M so happy =D... Just a couple of things to clarify (since 200 characters aren't nearly enough XD ): This actually happened a couple of month ago. I was on a flight home from Lima. There was this super hot flight attendant on...
By rubberduck_of_doom - / Tuesday 20 February 2018 16:55 / Austria - Innsbruck
ashlyrose45 Say more :
I replied to a comment before, but I figured I'd post an update; some of you were right about it being more than a couple days, but it turns out I have PTSD, which cause fits of rage. I'm medicated now and we just celebrated our second anniversary
By Anonymous - / Wednesday 17 January 2018 21:20 /
raspution Say more :
OP: Lots of questions. I get home from work at 1am so she was sleeping. I cook and clean my own mess made from it the mess is almost all hers since she doesn't clean up for herself. We do not have any kids but that is the problem. About a year and a half ago she had her 3rd miscarriage. She became extremely depressed tried to hurt herself and so on. She is doing better now but I am getting tired...
By raspution - / Wednesday 10 January 2018 19:38 /
Noel J Reed Say more :
Hi, op here. So I understand that while strawberries aren’t technically berries, I am in fact still allergic to them and pretty much every berry and berry like fruit, I’ve been hospitalized due to this so we all take it very seriously. And btw lobby_bee I’m not only a barely 5’2 woman, I’m a psychology major who is open to talk to you about all this anger you have for random people on the internet....
By 21anddumb - / Monday 8 January 2018 23:23 /
Symphoniaes Say more :
Hey, OP here. This happened a little while ago, and I wanted to give an update. They actually had the gall to reopen the store “under new management” and put big yellow signs in the windows to let everyone know that they were open and hiring. I drove by there yesterday, however, and the windows and door were boarded up. I still throw up a little just thinking about it.
By Oh my god ew - / Wednesday 3 January 2018 10:19 /
raspution Say more :
OP here and i work for the government apparently this will cost tax payers about 10,000 to investigate. Tax dollars at work.
By Raspution - / Thursday 28 December 2017 18:00 /
CoyoteOldOne Say more :
I am an uncontrolled human. The cat is uncontrolled also. Cat food doesnt smell nice to me, and it was a strong, wet, meaty smell. Dammit, that came out bad too. Maybe i should work at one of those phone sex lines.
By Coyote - / Sunday 10 December 2017 06:45 /
boopingsnoot Say more :
1. I work at a vet 2. I was busy bathing a very fluffy dog 3. I was really thirsty when I got done, that I took a good chug of coffee before the taste difference caught my attention 4. I am somehow an ungrateful hypocrite for being upset and for not being 100% the next day at work ?
By boopingsnoot - / Monday 4 December 2017 19:42 /
two2blue Say more :
OP here. Nope, car was off, car window and garage window both slightly open. She thought sleepimg in the car was "trashy".
By two2blue - / Monday 4 December 2017 19:30 /
Emi N. Jax Say more :
Ok so to everyone saying "why don't you just do automatic payments?" Or "the bill is the same time every month just plan ahead." IVE BEEN TRYING TO FIX THIS SINCE AUGUST! I can't connect my credit card due to the "incorrect zip code" and was trying to call customer service to get that fixed. Thank you -_-
By Anonymous - / Thursday 30 November 2017 10:22 / United States
ShadowReiku Say more :
OP here, didn't expect to actually get published! Backstory, it's a college Intro class that I have to take before I can branch off into the Fiction classes (it's my major with intent to teach Fiction writing myself at university level). My professor has a PhD in Poetry. The first half of the class was poetry, and this last half of the semester is fiction. The problem is she has no interest in seeing...
By Anonymous - / Wednesday 29 November 2017 15:45 /
tipsyone Say more :
OP here: this is not the first time she’s done this! I’ve talked about this two years ago and how I find it incredibly boring to listen to the same songs three months!! Of course the others don’t mind since they’re afraid of conflicts plus I’m the one with the office very close to hers!
By tipsyone - / Tuesday 28 November 2017 18:18 / Sweden - Malm?
Terrenixwitch Say more :
Hey guys! Update, the father gave full custody to my sister and wants nothing to do with them. He is also in jail for not paying child support before signing over full custody. As far as the kids, I'm taking care of them the best I can but it's hard since I also work. I love them to death and wouldn't want to give them up. I wasn't ready to be a temp mom this young. I know she will do awesome in her...
By #agirlcandream - / Monday 27 November 2017 15:09 / United States - Pearl
dannydane Say more :
Take this in. You ready for this? A meme page. Memes. A guy just so happened to run it.
By dannydane - / Monday 27 November 2017 21:45 /
Stella5127 Say more :
or all those people doubting my story! this ACTUALLY happened in july of 2016. I now have a boy named Nate. I kept my pills in a pill holder in the fridge with 'mon tue wed' on it. my friends daughter would come over every night after school to look after our oldest daughter, Tilly, after kindergarten while my husband and I would finish work. She had ample opportunity and being a busy teacher id just...
By Stella5127 - / Tuesday 28 November 2017 05:01 / Australia - Melbourne
Caitlin Mcloughlin Say more :
Hey guys, OP here! I have no idea how this login system works so I think I ended up creating a new profile. Anyway, for now I'm better, thank you so much for your support! As for a more permanent solution, fortunately I'm moving out next year to go to college, and so I'll be able to sort myself out with medication then. I'm honestly super surprised that my FML ended up published - thanks again for...
By No pain no gain - / Thursday 23 November 2017 05:44 /
Achicken123 Say more :
I have no clue what happened, she was so young and one day she just stopped doing cat things. None of the vets we went to could find anything. At least she passed in her sleep while somewhere she loved.
By Bird - / Tuesday 21 November 2017 21:54 /
ChasingShadows67 Say more :
OP here -- I'm a straight A student with a 4.0 GPA. I have my tuition paid for at the college of my dreams. My parents were extremely strict, so skipping class was never an option -- unless I was practically dying, I was going. So yeah, skipping a class was on my bucket list. As you can tell, it didn't work out so well.
By ChasingShadows67 - / Monday 20 November 2017 15:48 / United States - Ypsilanti
Nonethnx Say more :
Hi guys, this is OP :) I've come back to give a little update about my life since this FML was posted. So, I wrote this when I was 14 years old, and I am now 17. I have always wanted to have a career helping people. That ideology has never left me, and probably never will. In the past three years, I have partaken in discussions and done my own research, and I have come to the conclusion that religion...
By Anonymous - / Monday 20 November 2017 21:03 / New Zealand - Christchurch
azouwa Say more :
She is also a trustee. There are 4 trustees. My 2 bros, my mom, and me. The govt can, and probably will, will go after all 4 of us. My bros and I will discuss it with the lawyer that helped us set the trust account up and have my mother removed.
By azouwa - / Tuesday 14 November 2017 19:14 /
Stella5127 Say more :
They gave me a baggy of this eyebrow pomade was black, I have blonde hair. ??
By Stella5127 - / Monday 13 November 2017 23:54 /
hadtomakeausername Say more :

OP here (I didn't hook my email when I orginally submitted)

To clarify, my aunt and uncle were married with kids before they became step-sister and brother. My grandmother died (my uncle's mother), and coincidentially my aunt's mother had been widowed for some time. My grandfather (my uncle's father) married my aunt's mother. I just still think it is hella weird, but we just joke about it...

By alwaysalabama - / Monday 13 November 2017 23:33 /
taintedtruffle Say more :
He has plenty of cat toys and two siblings so I doubt he is bored. And no his name is Bananas because he's so crazy. I will encourage her to play with him more- he loves the wand toys . Thanks for the suggestions.
By Truffle - / Sunday 12 November 2017 17:22 / United States - Waldorf
feytensn Say more :
OP here! I did follow store policy. People could not go to our restroom. That’s because the restroom is inside the stock, next to our safe. We could not keep an eye on them, so it is possible that they could steal from us. Althought we would never refuse a child or a pregnant woman. This lady took of her pants and underpants. When she left the fitting room, she acted like nothing happend. We did give...
By - / Wednesday 8 November 2017 21:57 / Belgium - Wilsele
Adam Daniel Say more :
It just had said “so and so replied to your Tweet” so I hit it and it was spoilers
By Adam Daniel - / Monday 6 November 2017 19:19 /
TeachAllTheMath Say more :
OP here, two years later I am still working at the same school (in my beloved hoodies). The principal that told me this was not renewed for the following year, so luckily our head of school valued competent teachers over well dressed ones. I work at a charter school who encourages teachers to dress comfortably so we can go outside to play soccer, or get on the floor to do small groups, and I was...
By schoolsucks / Saturday 4 November 2017 14:45 / United States - Aurora