Wake Up Call - FML

Wake Up Call

By FML Approved - 07/10/2017 03:00

The most frustrating sound ever.

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 87

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Top comments

Donut_Wizard 23

Saturday 7 October 2017 4:05

This is usually followed by the "plotting their demise knowing that you will never actually act on it" phase.

Comments

Donut_Wizard 23

Saturday 7 October 2017 4:05

This is usually followed by the "plotting their demise knowing that you will never actually act on it" phase.

Keywords

Money Insurance Plumbing Awkward Love Suspicious Relatable Cheating AITA Relationship advice Weird First Dates Marriage Health Poopoo peepee Gross Mental health Cars Death Family Parenting Kids Miscellaneous Transportation Capitalism My ex Social Media Friends Instagram Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 848

You deserved it 5 978

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 474

You deserved it 5 086

The Top

Today, the director of the play I'm in decided to explain why we got the parts we did. He said he tried matching our characters to who we actually are. I play a whore who's a transvestite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 865

You deserved it 6 650

Today, I got high-fived in the face by a jellyfish. Twice. #FML @KillingerExp

I agree, your life sucks 1 968

You deserved it 256

Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 217

You deserved it 34 298

Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 460

You deserved it 3 340

Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering, "You want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 993

You deserved it 5 735

Today, I announced to my friends that I'd proposed to my girlfriend and she'd said yes. I thought they'd be happy for me, since they were the ones who introduced me to her after all. Instead, they all were flabbergasted. One told me, "You realize we set you up with that fat chick as a joke, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 995

You deserved it 153