Intimacy: ur mom gay

ur mom gay

By Anonymous - 02/05/2018 01:30

Today, I pretended to be asleep when my mom and her best friend came home because I was tired as hell and I didn't want to be around them. I was then treated to a loud conversation about my mom's first time with a woman through our paper-thin walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 299

You deserved it 708

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Same thing different taste

By Joel_mama - 27/07/2009 01:12 - New Zealand

Today, while driving home with my parents. I pretended to be asleep so mum wouldn't talk to me. They then took this time to describe what they were going to do to each other when they got home. In full detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 006

You deserved it 20 791

By Anonymous - 20/01/2013 02:55 - Canada

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 792

You deserved it 9 690

Not now, mom!

By Anonymous - 28/09/2020 18:02 - United States - Gillette

Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 181

Method acting

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 05:08 - United Kingdom - Frome

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 637

You deserved it 45 049

By Eternal Servitude - 02/05/2015 16:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom decided to have a get together at my house while I was at work. When I came home, she pulled me aside and asked me to pretend to be her maid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 402

You deserved it 2 365

By ipayyourbillsgorramit - 24/08/2012 23:29 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, after getting home from a twelve-hour shift at work, I got into bed and passed out. My mother soon woke me up, screaming that she could tell I was "fake sleeping" and ignoring her lecture on how I need to stop being so "lazy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 437

You deserved it 1 907

By xXxtwilightLUV95xXx - 08/03/2010 15:14 - United States

Today, I woke up to the most awkward breakfast of my life. Apparently, last night after taking my sleeping pill, I went into my mom's room and started spilling secrets left and right. Secrets about my current crush, the people I've hooked up with, and how when I say I'm going over to my friend Beth's house, I'm really seeing a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 446

You deserved it 34 785

By Anonymous - 22/07/2015 20:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 220

You deserved it 5 751

By nekoneko - 07/02/2010 05:15 - United States

Today, I found out my mom pretended to be me and had AIM conversations with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 989

You deserved it 3 033

Make it stop

By Fuck - 18/10/2022 10:00

Today, I was feeling too tired because I couldn't sleep last night, due to my mother's snoring. Since I stayed with both my parents and my sister in a small town for a vacation, I requested to sleep in separate rooms because my mother's snoring is disgustingly loud. She refused, and called me a crybaby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 104

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 2 May 2018 2:03

I hope you fell asleep before hearing all of the sounds of her second time with a woman.

routerere 10

Wednesday 2 May 2018 3:17

Just be glad you exist

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 2 May 2018 2:03

I hope you fell asleep before hearing all of the sounds of her second time with a woman.

routerere 10

Wednesday 2 May 2018 3:17

Just be glad you exist

PenguinPal3017 19

Wednesday 2 May 2018 4:43

ur family tree LGBT

julfunky 29

Wednesday 2 May 2018 5:46

You know what they say: You snooze, you lose.

Dave_Davington 33

Wednesday 2 May 2018 6:29

So, how was it for her?

Cz22mv 14

Wednesday 2 May 2018 6:35

Kinda ur fault for fake sleeping bud...

Davros 12

Wednesday 2 May 2018 9:27

sounds like your moms best friend is your new mom

Davros 12

Wednesday 2 May 2018 9:30

well, now you know what that mouth do

Lobby_Bee 17

Wednesday 2 May 2018 10:51

Plot twist, your mom knows you are fake sleeping and she deliberately made up this story to make you suffer silently.

thatslifeiguess7 16

Wednesday 2 May 2018 18:30

That's what I would do.

ARISKomuniszt 24

Wednesday 2 May 2018 17:54

To respond to the title: no u

Cali 54

Saturday 5 May 2018 20:49

I appreciate you.

ARISKomuniszt 24

Saturday 5 May 2018 21:16

no u ultra gru

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The Top

Today, it's my husband's and my first wedding anniversary. I came home from work hoping for at least a bouquet of flowers, only to find my husband passed out on the couch, with a few beer cans next to him. I guess I missed the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 218

Today, it's been a year since my wife agreed to an open marriage. A friend said at the time that she would get a lot more sex than me, and would end up leaving me. I ignored him because he's a basement dwelling Trump supporter who's never had a girlfriend. Turns out he was completely right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 981

The Top

Today, needing some new music, I logged on to YouTube and clicked "Like" on a few different tracks I enjoy, hoping to spark some good suggestions from the algorithm. My “Personal Mix” now consists of boring, generic techno remixes, with videos showing 100% half-naked women and fast cars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 343

Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 514

You deserved it 3 827

Today, I was rear-ended while heading to my appointment with my physiotherapist. This is the physiotherapist I am seeing to treat the pinched disc I got from being rear-ended 6 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 389

You deserved it 425

Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 605

You deserved it 1 306

Today, I proudly presented my research project in class that I've worked for day and night for 3 weeks straight. My teacher fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 498

You deserved it 3 539

Today, I found out from the doctor that I have a concussion. Was it from a wicked sports injury? No, my idiot brother decided to judo kick the door open while I was on the floor vacuuming the front carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 281

You deserved it 537