Work: Today, while working at a restaurant, I told an old couple that...

By Anonymous - 24/04/2018 03:44

Today, while working at a restaurant, I told an old couple that their “vibrator will go off when a table is available.” I meant to say pager. They walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 903

You deserved it 991

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/03/2019 12:00 - United States - Salem

Today, I asked a table at a restaurant if there's anything I could get out of their way and they replied, "Yeah, you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 229

You deserved it 233

By oops - 18/05/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 499

You deserved it 10 826

Near the knuckle

By Anonymous - 20/10/2020 05:01

Today, as a waitress I served someone who was hoping their food would come back faster than expected. I replied, “Fingers crossed!” just for the person to show me they had no hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 895

You deserved it 115

By WaitedOut - 03/10/2012 08:07 - United States - Saukville

Today, at work, I got to wait on one of those tables where everyone had very complex orders, and some of them sent their food back. When the time finally came for me to bring them their check and receive my well-earned tip, I returned only to discover that they'd dined and dashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 340

You deserved it 2 129

By Ashton Sprunger - 30/12/2011 05:38 - United States

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 731

You deserved it 3 304

By stupidapperently - 01/02/2013 04:06 - United States

Today, while checking out a couple at work, I handed them their receipt and wished them a good day. The woman promptly pulled her husband to the side, and whispered to him about how much of a "fucking idiot" I was for making the prices so high. I work at McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 702

You deserved it 2 407

Karen strikes again

By Anonymous - 17/02/2021 08:01

Today, at work as a manager at pizza place, I got yelled by a customer because they got one fewer paper plates than they asked for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 114

By Bob - 14/04/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, I was working at a local restaurant when another server's table called me over to ask if I've "ever killed anybody". They informed me I looked like a serial killer. I informed them, of course, that I have never killed anybody. Another customer claimed I scared her child. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 990

You deserved it 4 670

By Anonymous - 06/02/2011 17:53 - United States

Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 755

You deserved it 30 564

By terrified - 18/01/2012 19:02 - United States

Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 831

You deserved it 5 199

interesting33 36

Sunday 8 April 2018 3:29

I feel like their reaction was quite an overreaction... it is very natural to say vibrator for that.

Donut_Wizard 23

Tuesday 24 April 2018 1:44

When they walked out, did they take the pager with them?

Comments

interesting33 36

Sunday 8 April 2018 3:29

I feel like their reaction was quite an overreaction... it is very natural to say vibrator for that.

Donut_Wizard 23

Tuesday 24 April 2018 1:44

When they walked out, did they take the pager with them?

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 24 April 2018 17:51

They did, but nobody wanted to retrieve it...if you know what I mean.

Zekfen 17

Tuesday 24 April 2018 1:45

“I’m not ready to be seated, can you make it go off again?”

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 24 April 2018 2:36

Of course, she wanted the vibrator to go off NOW!

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 24 April 2018 4:08

I’d say your career in food service is on... wait on it... shaky ground.

tonyfan00 38

Tuesday 24 April 2018 4:59

Did they walk out with the pager? Because if so, it might be used in substitute of a vibrator...

dexter420 21

Tuesday 24 April 2018 5:44

Prudes!

bigdaddyeric 35

Tuesday 24 April 2018 6:06

What a couple of prudes, good riddance to them!

Alastair Chin 3

Tuesday 24 April 2018 9:03

Iolz

Davros 12

Tuesday 24 April 2018 10:02

I bet the wife was hesitant to leave.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, it's my husband's and my first wedding anniversary. I came home from work hoping for at least a bouquet of flowers, only to find my husband passed out on the couch, with a few beer cans next to him. I guess I missed the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 768

You deserved it 217

Today, my plan to punish my husband by leaving him for a week completely failed. When I got home from the hotel, he had his buddies over happily watching football, but his face fell when I walked in, like I’d ruined his day by coming home. I don’t think my marriage can be saved at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 1 454

The Top

Today, my coworker got angry at a mean customer. She came to the back where I work and started punching the wall repeatedly. When I tried to intervene and stop her from breaking her hand, she punched me in the stomach and uppercut me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 327

You deserved it 1 317

Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 941

You deserved it 6 156

Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 774

You deserved it 17 562

Today, I was promoted to vice president of my company. I gave a speech explaining how I intended to run things more transparently. When I bent down to pick up my folder, my pants split. Somebody said, "Powerpuff girls panties. Transparent indeed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 610

You deserved it 283

Today, I was halfway through eating a what I though was a delicious sandwich, when I turned it over and saw nasty green mold on the bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 760

You deserved it 529

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 176

You deserved it 12 949

Same thing different taste

Near the knuckle

Karen strikes again

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