Today, I found out that my penis isn't really small, and is in...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Better now - 16/01/2018 05:21 - United States - Kenai

Today, I found out that my penis isn't really small, and is in fact quite large. I thought it was small because my brother's is even bigger and I never saw anyone else's. I put up with years of unjustified teasing for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 29

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Top comments

Leeono 26

Wednesday 17 January 2018 19:50

Wow. What a dick thing to do.

Ali Alexandrea 16

Thursday 8 February 2018 3:57

this...this is a non problem

Comments

Leeono 26

Wednesday 17 January 2018 19:50

Wow. What a dick thing to do.

Ali Alexandrea 16

Thursday 8 February 2018 3:57

this...this is a non problem

Keywords

Love Music Cute Coworkers TMI Work Gross Racism Customers Kids Scary Technology Geek Gamers Miscellaneous Neighbours Relatable DIY Social Media Ironic Cheating Sex Awkward Animals Health Insects Money Insurance Plumbing Farts

The Top

Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 482

You deserved it 4 391

Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages, she said, "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said, "But it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 193

You deserved it 79 278

The Top

Today, my friend was complaining about about her new boyfriend. Playing around, I told her that he sounded a lot like my ex. He is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 708

You deserved it 2 342

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 174

You deserved it 9 580

Today, I sat in my hotel room bathroom in dead silence for 30 minutes while I waited for the cleaning staff to stop watching TV and drinking beer from the minibar, so that I could finish using the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 364

You deserved it 3 753

Today, I had decided to fast after my cheat weekend, because I gained four pounds. I'm aiming to be 103 lbs, but after my cheat weekend I was 106 lbs. Somehow, my weight is not moving at all and I've been fasting for two days. I don't think I can do this anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 731

Today, I sent my long-distance girlfriend the first photo of me I'd sent her in a while. It was a photo of me with some of my friends, she didn't know which one I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 363

You deserved it 11 558

Today, I'm recovering from a bad motorcycle crash that could have cost me my life. A truck pulled out in front of me while going 60. Luckily I only have a broken arm and a fractured sternum. I was just notified by my attorney that the guy at fault has no insurance or assets to his name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 487

You deserved it 232