Miscellaneous: Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just...

By valarmorgoolies - 06/02/2015 18:51 - United States - Binghamton

Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 815

You deserved it 3 030

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Same thing different taste

Sometimes the truth is too weird to believe

By fml9124 - 06/06/2021 14:01

Today, my mom grounded me for smoking cigarettes. I'm 13. I don't smoke. She said she smelled it on my clothes. I laughed and said I was in the basement, and used one of my dad's cig's to simulate a house on fire on my train layout. She didn't believe me. Honestly, I wouldn't believe that story either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 526

By lehonX9 - 06/06/2015 09:11 - Germany - Hanover

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 789

You deserved it 9 717

By hypercrite dad - 19/09/2014 18:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 127

You deserved it 15 536

By Mellamononeyobiz - 13/01/2016 02:10 - United States - Hooper

Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 145

You deserved it 1 628

By Anonymous - 28/09/2013 21:28 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 648

You deserved it 2 953

Convoluted

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 04:00

Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 672

Stoner

By Alyssa - 13/02/2012 00:01 - United States

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 847

You deserved it 83 189

By ironyisabitch - 02/06/2012 05:43 - United States - Rohnert Park

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 323

You deserved it 3 081

Smoke 'em if you've got 'em

By Dumbweed - 28/08/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 254

You deserved it 67 710

By Anonymous - 08/11/2014 20:36 - United States - Deland

Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 980

You deserved it 38 767

tykatdesigns 13

Saturday 7 February 2015 8:28

Must of been a pretty dank fart yo

maximus_prime 24

Saturday 7 February 2015 8:23

Maybe she thought it smelt like good shit.

Comments

brendejafulable 41

Saturday 7 February 2015 8:22

Stinky situation.

Morning_fml 22

Saturday 7 February 2015 8:48

As 1st comment you had the clear chance to shine and receive many upvotes from everyone, but as usual, there always has to be that one person who overused an unoriginal pun. Here, take my down vote, it's free!

xxNIGHTxx_fml 17

Saturday 7 February 2015 11:23

I can't believe #1 was THAT person.

Arestian 14

Saturday 7 February 2015 15:23

OP just get her to get u a drug test and the proove the bitch wrong cause thats just **** up

Fr0gs 15

Saturday 7 February 2015 21:09

Sounds like you should shut the **** up!

Ethan_Anonymous 28

Saturday 7 February 2015 8:22

Wow. That really stinks OP.

maximus_prime 24

Saturday 7 February 2015 8:23

Maybe she thought it smelt like good shit.

Just_A_Tree 20

Saturday 7 February 2015 23:10

How does she know what weed smells like? Did mom live through the 70's? If so, then that's almost a guaranteed she's blazed it.

tantanpanda 26

Sunday 8 February 2015 6:04

You can smell weed off others when they've smoked it, just like regular smoking. Just because you know what weed smells like, doesn't mean you've tried It.

Just_A_Tree 20

Sunday 8 February 2015 11:07

That was more of a 70's joke. But thanks for taking me seriously.

travellingfun 18

Saturday 7 February 2015 8:25

"Mum it was just a fart, I promise!"

WCARlover 34

Saturday 7 February 2015 8:27

What in the world have you been eating?!

Drag0nb0rn 22

Saturday 7 February 2015 13:08

Pot brownies.

Nexoux 18

Sunday 8 February 2015 23:43

OP needs to eat salads for a week or two. Get some fibre in there.

Jeremy Phillips 18

Thursday 5 July 2018 14:49

How is eating a salad going to help get fibre in a diet?

tykatdesigns 13

Saturday 7 February 2015 8:28

Must of been a pretty dank fart yo

JKPwnage 27

Saturday 7 February 2015 17:06

must have*

newzealand 28

Saturday 7 February 2015 8:31

Question is, where have you been hiding your stash ?!

eyebrowzzz 21

Saturday 7 February 2015 8:35

Now everytime you have to fart make sure your mothers around to prove yourself and make them loud

devildog562 33

Saturday 7 February 2015 8:35

A simple urine test can prove your point, but I somehow get the feeling you're not telling us the whole story.. Have this nagging feeling that weed or partying has come up with your moms before. Just a hunch though.

False_Stupidity 41

Saturday 7 February 2015 20:38

I also get the feeling that even if OP can prove her innocence, her mum will still ground her for being a smart arse and proving her wrong. It's a lose/lose situation with some parents.