Love: Today, my husband told me he was going to search from store to... - FML

By rozsrredd - 08/07/2014 05:41 - United States - Lancaster

Today, my husband told me he was going to search from store to store in order to find my birthday gift. What was he really doing? His girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 050

You deserved it 4 169

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Same thing different taste

By fantastic - 03/02/2012 18:47 - France

Today, I went to the store to get Valentine's Day gifts to decorate my boyfriend's and my new apartment. He was there shopping with his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 947

You deserved it 5 109

By Anonymous - 07/05/2013 12:48 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 165

You deserved it 9 673

Who? Where?

By happybirthday - 06/03/2010 19:42 - United States

Today, my husband bought me a beautiful pair of earrings for my birthday, to match the necklace he'd spent months searching for online the previous year. What necklace? He gave me a watch he found at Walmart last year. I wonder who the lucky girl with the necklace is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 210

You deserved it 2 783

By Soontobeex - 15/09/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I decided to go through my husband's phone to make sure I invited everyone to the surprise party I was planning for him. There were a few I had missed so I called to let them know about it. The last number I called was his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 577

You deserved it 4 674

By SoMuchForThatIdea - 12/06/2017 00:00

Today, I got to spend the entire day shopping for lingerie with the man of my dreams. He bought everything I'd ever wanted and more! Too bad it was for another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 926

You deserved it 890

Bad omen

By Worriedashell - 13/12/2022 12:00

Today, my husband said he was going to get errands. According to his job’s Instagram page which I follow, he was actually at his work Christmas formal. He never invited me. That’s not all. I also found his wedding band in the bathroom sink. Very close to the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 389

You deserved it 132

By Anonymous - 26/09/2009 03:15 - United States

Today, I called my husband during my lunch to tell him that I wanted to go out tonight for my birthday. We got in argument because he said we couldn't afford it. When I got home from work, he was gone, so I called his cell to see where he went. Answer: to the bar with his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 590

You deserved it 3 547

By lonelygirl - 14/02/2010 05:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me on a romantic weekend away at a hotel. What is he doing now? On his computer looking up stuff on Craigslist while I am watching t.v. alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 653

You deserved it 3 444

By sis - 19/02/2018 16:30 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I went shopping with my sister’s husband to help him choose a birthday gift for her. My sister’s insane friend saw us, followed us, and caused a huge screaming scene in the middle of the mall accusing us of having an affair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 024

You deserved it 297

By Screwed - 07/08/2009 23:35 - Canada

Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 194

You deserved it 4 342

Next

Top comments

Paco_el_Taco 17

Tuesday 8 July 2014 14:58

Looks like the gift of divorce to me. Oh and Happy Birthday!

MomentoMori 23

Tuesday 8 July 2014 14:58

Get rid of him. You deserve better than trash. Happy Birthday! I hope your day gets better!

Comments

Paco_el_Taco 17

Tuesday 8 July 2014 14:58

Looks like the gift of divorce to me. Oh and Happy Birthday!

s0m3guy2010 21

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:04

He couldn't foot the bill, so he decided to split the difference.

MrConcise 34

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:11

Split a few other things as well.

Yeshua_fml 19

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:40

A Last minute Walgreens gift: $19.99 The gas it took to speed away from the scene of the lascivious crime: $6.99 The knowledge that you will send him back to studio appartments in the divorce: Priceless.

OBTrice 15

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:53

Divorce money is a great bday present, get a lot of it

Aubri244 11

Tuesday 8 July 2014 17:41

I don't understand why people cheat. fyl op.

SmokinGuns 13

Tuesday 8 July 2014 22:13

This Fml reminded me of the South Park episode where Butters' dad went to look for an anniversary present, but was really going to gay clubs.

leeloo900 9

Tuesday 8 July 2014 14:58

Omg Im so sorry! What a jerk!!

MomentoMori 23

Tuesday 8 July 2014 14:58

Get rid of him. You deserve better than trash. Happy Birthday! I hope your day gets better!

pd2902 22

Tuesday 8 July 2014 14:59

awh shit :( sorry to hear that OP :( hope you can still try and enjoy your birthday :/

spignona84 11

Tuesday 8 July 2014 14:59

It's the gift that keeps on giving

LifeAlertTwerk 14

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:12

I'm pretty sure this wasn't the gift she was looking for...

R3TROxLOV3 32

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:54

I thought that was herpes? Meh, who knows? I could be wrong.

911_Guy 5

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:54

You're thinking of chlamydia.

MrConcise 34

Tuesday 8 July 2014 14:59

He was infiltrating the closet of a rich girl for your gift, you just happened to see the seduction part of the mission.

leary96 15

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:30

That's not the only thing he was infiltrating...

cakefete2 30

Tuesday 8 July 2014 16:39

He was deep under covers.

MrConcise 34

Tuesday 8 July 2014 16:49

His gadgets were very handy in this mission. ;)

ryanthecheeseguy 18

Tuesday 8 July 2014 14:59

Happy Birthday, Op! Don't let a douche like him ruin your special day!

aimzskee 30

Tuesday 8 July 2014 22:48

Happy Birthday op! I hope you still have a good day despite that douche.

Adam5858 17

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:00

Well he was stupid.But how did you find out?

qprince09 2

Friday 11 July 2014 18:38

I want to know too

Aquaman911 18

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:00

That's disgusting, you don't deserve shit like that!

slipstreak 10

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:00

In return, you can search from divorce office to divorce office for some divorce papers for him.

Keywords

Love Music Cute Coworkers TMI Work Gross Racism Customers Kids Scary Technology Geek Gamers Miscellaneous Neighbours DIY Relatable Social Media Ironic Cheating Sex Awkward Animals Health Insects Money Insurance Plumbing Embarrassing

The Top

Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 176

You deserved it 47 574

Today, I'd been sat in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars, and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through, I heard a tap on my driver's window. It was a police officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 258

You deserved it 152 405

The Top

Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 764

You deserved it 5 039

Today, I have a rash all over my face because yesterday my boyfriend broke up with me. Apparently, I am allergic to the something in the tissues with which I was blowing my nose and wiping away my tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 652

You deserved it 3 001

Today, I got a call from my optometrist. I ignored the call, because I already knew I had my appointment tomorrow. When I listened to my messages later, I found out it was from his secretary, saying all of his appointments have been canceled due to him passing away last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 655

You deserved it 9 266

Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 128

You deserved it 3 823

Today, I was walking on my crutches towards the bus through the rain. The bus driver looked into my eyes, punching the button to close the doors while I was still a few meters away. As he drove off, he kept his eyes on me, while I had to wait for another 15 minutes for the next bus in the rain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 437

You deserved it 1 448

Today, my cat attempted to make up for my insomnia with a dead mouse. I have no idea where he got it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 522

You deserved it 186