Intimacy: Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex.... - FML

By Noname - 06/03/2009 19:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488 024

You deserved it 106 712

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From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/07/2013 16:38 - United States - Spencer

Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 472

You deserved it 8 341

By blazer - 30/06/2009 00:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 052

You deserved it 14 669

By aprouddaddy - 04/12/2014 23:46 - France - Paris

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 814

You deserved it 6 585

Stop

By dad - 03/03/2009 22:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 362

You deserved it 83 138

You what?

By unknown - 02/11/2013 21:10 - Canada - Courtenay

Spicy

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 498

You deserved it 6 891

By PPP - 28/04/2015 15:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 651

You deserved it 3 324

Uptight girl, she's been living in her uptight world…

By TheVirginJenny - 07/10/2012 00:05 - United States - Spanaway

Spicy

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 272

You deserved it 7 881

By It was the 11 year old - 21/07/2012 08:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 901

You deserved it 5 030

By badmom - 10/06/2009 18:09 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134 939

You deserved it 80 617

By unknown - 15/09/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 165

You deserved it 6 094

Next

Top comments

Skel117 13

Thursday 4 May 2017 17:38

What the actual ****

Marshallino 21

Monday 26 June 2017 19:31

The **** dude? She's been mislead doesn't mean that she's a ****, she's 13!

Comments

Skel117 13

Thursday 4 May 2017 17:38

What the actual ****

Zach Ranchovitch 5

Friday 2 June 2017 18:38

that is so ******* dumb I need bleach

Hippo_Holiday 19

Tuesday 6 June 2017 8:40

In the future: Top 10 Anime Transformations

orourkeda 7

Tuesday 3 October 2017 13:18

Whats her number?

Ty Haines 3

Monday 23 October 2017 5:24

Jesus, what a great parenting job you've done

KrazyKatz3 26

Saturday 2 December 2017 13:55

You didn't talk to her about sex?

Paul B. Gyurcsanszky 14

Friday 25 May 2018 6:23

You might want to keep a c Over eye on what your kids are doing.

Felice Godin 19

Tuesday 1 October 2019 1:28

your daughter needs to worry about school. not boys and sex didnt you have a talk with you daughter about the birds an the bees she is way to young to even thinking or even having sex put her in some kind of sports or other activies that way she be to busy to have sex

mmmmmmmmwtf 2

Monday 12 April 2021 18:20

daughter's like 25 now. little late for this comment lol

Psychonaut 7

Tuesday 2 March 2021 7:14

There's no rape like statutory rape.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Neighbours Money Insurance Plumbing Awkward Work Parents Relatable Poopoo peepee Love Suspicious Cheating AITA Relationship advice Health Insects Phobias Abuse Family Drunk Kids Argument Weird First Dates Marriage Gross Mental health Cars Death

The Top

Today, I went to surprise my girlfriend, who was at work at Target, with flowers. I asked the employee at the entrance if she was there. When he asked who I was, his face lit up red and he started profusely apologizing, stating, “She told me you guys broke up.” before guiding me to her area. News to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 76

Today, I found out my dentist is retiring. This wouldn't be that big of a deal except that if we want to transfer our dental records to a new dentist we have to do it before he retires and there's a $30 processing fee per person. Three of us use that dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 74

The Top

Today, the mosquito infestation is so bad that multiple mosquitoes sucked the blood out of the steak I was grilling and promptly died on top of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 417

You deserved it 337

Today, I didn't get my driver's license, even though I didn't make any mistakes because my examiner said it was only my first time taking the exam, so it wouldn't matter if I failed. Now I have to pay another €240 for a second exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 847

You deserved it 174

Today, during a text conversation with a girl I've been trying to get with, she complained about how crummy of a day she was having. I told her it couldn't be as bad as she thought, and she would probably get it over it soon. Then she told me she had found out her cousin had been murdered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 168

You deserved it 13 379

Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 321

You deserved it 3 084

Today, I just moved in with my friend and had my brother help with the move. Later that night both my brother and my friend wouldn't let me sleep because of how loud the sex was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 330

You deserved it 309

Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 300