Intimacy: Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been... - FML

By Hard in flip flops - 21/01/2018 06:00

Spicy

Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 890

You deserved it 4 729

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Same thing different taste

By jack s.b. - 14/11/2013 22:15 - United States - Austin

Spicy

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 053

You deserved it 16 422

By Anonymous - 20/11/2012 03:19 - Sweden - Stockholm

Spicy

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 509

You deserved it 17 427

Quick thinking

By me. - 29/10/2011 04:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 040

You deserved it 35 380

By Bucko321 - 30/03/2009 01:18 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the phone to make a call and had heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 707

You deserved it 78 240

By lovely321 - 02/04/2011 19:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 713

You deserved it 50 083

By Jill Shanks - 01/09/2010 06:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 780

You deserved it 4 331

By Jssceli09 - 18/12/2009 08:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were using our skype accounts for the first time. He went to the restroom and I thought that I'd surprise him with my clothes off for when he came back. I heard him walk back into the room so I got into position. It wasn't him. It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 638

You deserved it 24 967

By maddiee. - 21/10/2010 15:20 - Indonesia

Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 273

You deserved it 7 325

By Anonymous - 22/07/2017 05:29 - United States - Irving

Spicy

Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 158

You deserved it 1 269

Didn't see you there

By eatmyshipoopie - 18/12/2009 15:20 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 595

You deserved it 10 100

Next

Top comments

Dave_Davington 33

Sunday 21 January 2018 6:50

If it's any consolation, he's if anything even more scarred by the whole situation than you are.

sadCowboysfan 20

Sunday 21 January 2018 15:46

That must have been awful for all of you. Now that it’s happened, I guess you’ll be more on your toes to stop it from happening again

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 21 January 2018 6:04

And he yelled, “You’re ripping off MY move! Why do you think Mom gets four pedicures a week?!?!”

Dave_Davington 33

Sunday 21 January 2018 6:50

If it's any consolation, he's if anything even more scarred by the whole situation than you are.

BlueSteele220 31

Sunday 21 January 2018 6:54

did you finish? it would be worse to be given a pearl necklace by your son..

David Horgan 8

Sunday 21 January 2018 17:17

While looking dead in the eyes of his father.

azouwa 26

Sunday 21 January 2018 7:14

The sat part is.... I can relate. my mom once walked in on me and a bf skyping. FML/FYL

Rhonda Edgar 2

Sunday 21 January 2018 7:30

thats horrible. Thank you for your service!

Cali 54

Tuesday 23 January 2018 5:45

What service? Jacking off on Skype?

manb91uk 22

Sunday 21 January 2018 8:02

This is without a doubt the funniest, cringiest thing I’ve read in weeks! I love it!

AdeenCuffing 12

Sunday 21 January 2018 15:05

Oh my god.

sadCowboysfan 20

Sunday 21 January 2018 15:46

That must have been awful for all of you. Now that it’s happened, I guess you’ll be more on your toes to stop it from happening again

David Horgan 8

Sunday 21 January 2018 17:18

Funny you mentioned feet. I have a feeling you like them...

Lobby_Bee 17

Sunday 21 January 2018 15:54

F your dad's life for having seen that.

Nic1330 5

Sunday 21 January 2018 20:02

I have nothing against gay people but I feel like this was between 2 guys

Kink Rat// ITS FUCKING OUT OF MY GOD 5

Sunday 21 January 2018 20:22

no shit

d34d4lus 6

Sunday 21 January 2018 23:03

I don't think chicks refer to themselves masturbating as jerking off anyway

Rabite 28

Monday 22 January 2018 18:13

What does this sentence even mean?

Keywords

Money Insurance Plumbing Awkward Suspicious Relatable Cheating Love AITA Relationship advice Weird First Dates Marriage Poopoo peepee Health Gross Mental health Cars Death Parenting Family Kids Miscellaneous Transportation Capitalism My ex Social Media Instagram Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I did an actual double take when my son complained about having to block the phone number of his most recent one-night stand when she got pregnant, but luckily he gave her a fake name, so he doesn’t have to delete his Facebook. How many grandkids do I have out there you little prick? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 513

You deserved it 640

Today, I looked for an affordable home. I'm on SSI but only on a bare minimum (less than $950 a month), but I'm by myself so I thought it wouldn't be a big deal. All the homes in my area are over $1k. When I tried to look for one with less beds and baths, they demanded I make an account before I could search further. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 107

The Top

Today, I broke my mother's Tiffany lamp from the 1920's. Practically crying, I raced onto the computer to try to find one to order before she comes back in three weeks. The lamp is worth over twelve thousand dollars, and the only way I'm getting one is if I lived 90 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 072

You deserved it 25 887

Today, knowing that the girl I broke up with last night goes crazy after breakups, I threw away my hair products, thinking she switched them with Nair. She didn't... but she did use the key I keep under a flowerpot to take all of my clothes and burn them on my lawn while I was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 630

You deserved it 9 002

Today, as a flight attendant, I had to deal with a passenger staring at a stewardess constantly and masturbating. His wife was sitting next to him and didn't mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 947

You deserved it 277

Today, I was at my mom's when I suddenly doubled over in pain. It was so bad that I begging to be taken to the hospital, just when her dog started coughing. She immediately ran to her dog, asked if she was OK, saying that she hates to see anyone she loves in pain. I sat there hunched over in disbelief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 038

You deserved it 96

Today, nearly six months later, my incompetent, lazy coworker still refuses to believe I didn't screw my way to the promotion both of us were competing for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 701

You deserved it 1 454

Today, my sister and I saw a guy with a terrible nose job coming up the bus. She said to me, "Look how ugly that guy is" in our native tongue. The man sat down right in front of us, took his phone out, and started talking our language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 1 940