Animals: Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When...

By Anonymous - 24/10/2015 16:41 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 518

You deserved it 3 236

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Same thing different taste

By killjoyx - 23/07/2015 18:28 - United States - Suffolk

Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 800

You deserved it 3 183

Alexa, play "The Lovecats" by The Cure

By MistofAvalon - 24/04/2020 14:00

Today, my cat woke me up announcing he was hungry by standing on my bedside table. This placed him both next to and above my head. Did he do this by meowing? Nope. Did he do it by tapping me with his little paw? Not that either. He sneezed all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 383

You deserved it 289

By phillyfan4life - 21/02/2011 19:50 - United States

Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 808

You deserved it 28 452

By Wendie - 18/04/2011 16:10 - United States

Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 540

You deserved it 8 583

By Annie - 22/11/2009 22:07 - Mexico

Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 664

You deserved it 6 010

By Anonymous - 24/01/2011 05:40 - Egypt

Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 674

You deserved it 4 325

No napping, only feeding

By Not Helping - 06/07/2022 02:59 - United States - Steele

Today, I've had a cold that just won't go away for the past few days. After staying painfully awake for most of the day, I eventually fell asleep in the afternoon. When I woke up, I found my hungry cat sitting on my chest. She then sneezed in my face and walked out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 188

Good boy

By AgathedeBlouse - 18/11/2008 06:42 - France

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 560

You deserved it 25 162

By Andrea Trevor - 30/04/2018 01:30

Today, I woke up at 5am to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 123

You deserved it 625

By Anonymous - 20/12/2012 19:50 - Spain - Santa Cruz De Tenerife

Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 991

You deserved it 9 662

Doomwyte 11

Sunday 25 October 2015 12:19

Yes, this is how dogs work.

Waxwell 21

Sunday 25 October 2015 12:17

At least it didn't come out the other end

Comments

Waxwell 21

Sunday 25 October 2015 12:17

At least it didn't come out the other end

friday9733 11

Sunday 25 October 2015 13:56

Can confirm, dog has farted in my bed before, would trade for a sneeze.

PhinIt2WinIt 24

Sunday 25 October 2015 22:24

both have happened to me and the fart is the worst. unless the dog had licked its balls or something, the OP doesnt have to worry.

JarOfPeachz 9

Sunday 25 October 2015 22:31

I was just thinking of that when I read the fml.

Cads1 24

Sunday 25 October 2015 12:19

Your life sucks.

YodaMyNameIs 15

Monday 26 October 2015 0:52

I believe there's a button for that.

Estrangement 25

Monday 26 October 2015 5:31

The FML community never fails to surprise me. Normally these comments get downvoted into oblivion. Seeing 2s comment be upvoted, well.. Its like seeing a ******* unicorn.