Intimacy and Transportation: Today, I was sitting a full bus when a man seated himself next...

By Anonymous - 16/09/2018 13:00

Today, I was sitting a full bus when a man seated himself next to me. After a few moments, he looked at me and said, "I can smell your vagina, you must be ovulating." I don't know if he was hitting on me or what but I couldn't race out of there fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 773

You deserved it 278

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 04:53 - United States

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 101

You deserved it 2 553

By scarlet - 09/05/2011 15:02 - Canada

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 890

You deserved it 3 408

By Anonymous - 26/08/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 881

You deserved it 3 719

By Stinky and Single - 06/08/2015 23:14 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 755

You deserved it 6 673

By Anonymous - 31/10/2012 00:29 - United States - Wooster

Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 859

You deserved it 1 941

Perfume Allergy Man strikes again!

By Lor - 09/10/2019 06:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, a woman got on the bus wearing extremely strong perfume and sat in the seat in front of me. The gentleman I was sitting next to began violently sneezing, so much so that he eventually sneeze-vomited all over my lap and backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 824

You deserved it 168

By bridezilla - 05/07/2009 04:12 - Canada

Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 482

You deserved it 6 852

By Anonymous - 10/02/2011 23:32 - United States

Today, I was on the bus heading home from school, when I noticed a ridiculously hot girl near me, checking me out. I was about to say something charmingly funny when I suddenly got a whiff of onions. Turns out she had turned around simply to catch the essence of her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 146

You deserved it 4 792

By littlekellilee - 08/03/2012 16:23 - Canada

Today, I was in class and felt something tugging on my hair. I thought it was caught on the chair, so I turned around a little to look. The guy behind me was holding my hair and smelling it. He gave me a creepy smile, winked, and continued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 877

You deserved it 2 541

Better out than in

By flying13 - 03/11/2010 07:27 - United States

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 514

You deserved it 13 273

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 16 September 2018 17:55

Gosh! You can’t make small talk with strangers anymore without them freaking out. I always thought the safe topics for polite conversation were the weather, sports and reproductive cycles.

Dave_Davington 33

Sunday 16 September 2018 13:00

Were you?

Comments

Dave_Davington 33

Sunday 16 September 2018 13:00

Were you?

Fickle 6

Sunday 16 September 2018 14:39

Wrong, Just WRONG!

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Sunday 16 September 2018 14:57

I would start carrying mace if I were you.

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 16 September 2018 17:55

Gosh! You can’t make small talk with strangers anymore without them freaking out. I always thought the safe topics for polite conversation were the weather, sports and reproductive cycles.

fabs1171 23

Monday 17 September 2018 8:10

Always best to avoid controversial topics such as politics and religion

LadyRen 20

Sunday 16 September 2018 19:08

Well, were you?

RJR 5

Sunday 16 September 2018 20:02

All I can picture is the Smelly Cat Friends episode...

demix_fml 32

Sunday 16 September 2018 21:04

This gave me gag! I hope you’re okay.

real life problems 26

Sunday 16 September 2018 21:27

If this app had smell-o-vision, we would smell it all around the world too.

Razell 13

Tuesday 18 September 2018 1:25

That's when you pull out your best Hannibal Lecter impression, and tell him that he looks like his liver would go well with fava beans and a nice Chianti.