Kids: Today, I was babysitting my 5 month old nephew who hasn't pooped...

By chuchie - 12/06/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my 5 month old nephew who hasn't pooped in 2 days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolls over and pees on my new carpet. I roll him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 537

You deserved it 6 647

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Same thing different taste

Pooped out

By jmitch1209 - 28/01/2010 17:55 - United States

Today, I was potty-training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 935

You deserved it 3 864

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 594

You deserved it 3 172

By sdasdflkjas - 30/05/2009 04:24 - United States

Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 131

You deserved it 6 357

By Anonymous - 11/09/2011 19:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 237

You deserved it 3 179

Shidding and farding

By Anonymous - 07/09/2021 08:01

Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 101

You deserved it 253

By Anonymous - 17/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Moonee Ponds

Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 181

You deserved it 597

By AuntPeePee - 20/05/2013 11:57 - United States

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 447

You deserved it 3 549

By matchristityler - 09/02/2010 08:19 - United States

Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 620

You deserved it 4 370

By jbhadafuckedupday - 15/03/2018 01:30

Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 083

You deserved it 445

By subtweetqueen - 09/09/2016 04:18 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, the 3-year-old I nanny wanted to prove to me that he was tall enough to pee standing up in front of the toilet. When he realized he actually was tall enough, he got excited and misdirected his stream, covering himself, his brother, and me in urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 508

You deserved it 1 231

hamzy 0

Friday 12 June 2009 9:38

Lol, "opened fire". For some reason I find this fml more cute then FMLish.

flydog 2

Friday 12 June 2009 9:46

how do you ''accidentally stuck my finger in it.'' ? poor kid must be going FML!!

Comments

hamzy 0

Friday 12 June 2009 9:38

Lol, "opened fire". For some reason I find this fml more cute then FMLish.

justbea777 0

Friday 12 June 2009 9:39

gross

tonia_fml 0

Friday 12 June 2009 9:41

there's these things called: changing tables.

yankfan89 27

Friday 6 July 2012 3:04

OP was baby sitting she wouldn't have a changing table unless she has small children of her own. However she could have put a blanket down since it was new carpet.

crudeandrudeguy 29

Monday 27 July 2015 15:34

Common sense would still dictate you don't do it on new carpet

blacklie 0

Friday 12 June 2009 9:41

that's cute! i totally agree with number 1!!

ciararocks1000 0

Tuesday 27 December 2011 6:51

Da fuq is wrong with you? If a kid ******* peed on my NEW carpet I would give it back I dont care who the mother is!

rachelbrianna25 0

Friday 12 June 2009 9:42

ew! that really sucks. i hope you got paid for that. nasty.

fmlxxxx 0

Friday 12 June 2009 9:44

This is all very normal for babies, and is why you should have a large mat or a towel under them.

flydog 2

Friday 12 June 2009 9:46

how do you ''accidentally stuck my finger in it.'' ? poor kid must be going FML!!

macs19 0

Friday 12 June 2009 9:47

how did you get your finger in his pooper? FYL for the mishap, but i suggest being careful around an area where you really shouldnt be putting your fingers.