Love: Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend...

By wendtinmypants - 31/05/2014 15:05 - United States - Omaha

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 894

You deserved it 9 212

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Same thing different taste

Don't answer

By Anonymous - 10/11/2014 14:28 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 599

You deserved it 5 798

By ShitHappens - 24/10/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 563

You deserved it 44 709

By StinkyandStupid - 15/03/2012 17:49 - United States

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 650

You deserved it 38 117

Thanks dad…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 635

You deserved it 2 600

Gassy

By MuteNToot - 26/02/2015 21:17

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 969

You deserved it 14 350

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 336

You deserved it 32 285

By birdisnottheword - 11/03/2015 13:55 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 927

You deserved it 8 876

Close quarters

By smellay - 14/04/2020 23:00

Today, I had to shit really bad while I was in bed with my girlfriend. Luckily she was sleeping. I didn’t want to be obvious, so I closed all the doors, crept into the bathroom and sat on the toilet. I accidentally let out the loudest fart. I got a text saying, “Walls are thin, you good?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 839

You deserved it 378

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 633

You deserved it 9 112

By CHStennis_4 - 03/09/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 295

You deserved it 3 863

TheDrifter 23

Saturday 31 May 2014 21:14

I hate when that happens. At least when I'm doing it on purpose I can fart a catchy tune.

SkyDog 9

Saturday 31 May 2014 21:28

I thought that was "shitty situation".

Comments

TheDrifter 23

Saturday 31 May 2014 21:14

I hate when that happens. At least when I'm doing it on purpose I can fart a catchy tune.

cakefete2 30

Sunday 1 June 2014 4:26

Wonderful. I'm starting a new band on FML. With your expertise, you could lead the um... wind instrument section.

91hayek 31

Sunday 1 June 2014 4:36

putting the ASS in brass.

CTMPandemonium 16

Tuesday 3 June 2014 4:49

I'm still trying to figure out how someone can butt dial with their pants down on the toilet :/ lol

PengiPou 12

Saturday 31 May 2014 21:16

Well that stinks

MRP360 14

Saturday 31 May 2014 21:20

prepare to be downvoted into oblivion

silvercamaro 22

Saturday 31 May 2014 21:25

This is the single most over used pun on FML

SkyDog 9

Saturday 31 May 2014 21:28

I thought that was "shitty situation".

Softballchick224 21

Saturday 31 May 2014 21:35

Literally.

iOceanus 18

Saturday 31 May 2014 22:46

This is just a thread of overused comments and replies--except for 11 because he was giving an example.

cakefete2 30

Sunday 1 June 2014 4:24

#11 is probably the first person I've seen use "shitty situation" without getting thumbed downed so hard their phone freezes.

xNotCreative 13

Sunday 1 June 2014 7:19

#15 Why does no one in your age-group know the definition of 'literally'?

morghandi 21

Sunday 1 June 2014 9:51

#58... I think since it was in regards to farting, literally applies...

grapefruit_hd 7

Sunday 1 June 2014 16:00

Well thats a shitty situation

KissMyAnthia200 12

Saturday 31 May 2014 21:17

Better been a damn good fart

euphoricness 28

Sunday 1 June 2014 1:01

He should fart in her mouth!

Queenie2014 11

Sunday 1 June 2014 1:05

You. Are. Sick.

zandalee 19

Sunday 1 June 2014 4:19

I'd say it was damn good! Lasted four minutes!!! :-$

grapefruit_hd 7

Sunday 1 June 2014 16:02

Good puun #44. Four For

scarman_fml 14

Sunday 1 June 2014 20:09

it's not a pun...

adkim78 17

Saturday 31 May 2014 21:18

Hey, she's gotta hear you fart eventually, right? it's not like it will damage your relationship in any way so just laugh about it

FrancesShiver 20

Saturday 31 May 2014 21:20

I will pay so much for seeing her reaction ;-;

FrancesShiver 20

Saturday 31 May 2014 21:41

Darn typos

Mynamewontfi 40

Saturday 31 May 2014 21:20

That's embarrassing, but also pretty funny. She might think it's funny too and not make a big deal out of it.

JMichael 25

Saturday 31 May 2014 21:21

Have fun explaining that one! Hopefully she's got a sense of humor and you two can laugh it off.

BadApple88 29

Saturday 31 May 2014 21:28

Everyone farts. Hopefully she finds it hilarious

maty172 14

Saturday 31 May 2014 21:29

That's a shitty situation.

Futacy 29

Sunday 1 June 2014 0:55

...Go sit in the corner.

Queenie2014 11

Sunday 1 June 2014 1:06

DIE!!!

cakefete2 30

Sunday 1 June 2014 4:31

Actually, do both. That way we don't have to haul your dead body to the corner.

glabberfasted 16

Sunday 1 June 2014 4:46

Jesus Christ. Can the mods just put in the Comments Policy to NEVER EVER ******* EVER use this, or any variation of this.

grapefruit_hd 7

Sunday 1 June 2014 16:03

Your right #44 somebody just used this and got 40 up votes

buckdharma 36

Saturday 31 May 2014 21:29

If she saves it you know you're the one op.

zandalee 19

Sunday 1 June 2014 4:22

If she saves it, it may also mean she's The One!

cakefete2 30

Sunday 1 June 2014 4:32

If she sends you one of hers in response, start saving for a nice ring.

grapefruit_hd 7

Sunday 1 June 2014 16:04

Op if she saves it as her ringtone for only your messages and calls. Your da 1

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The Top

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You deserved it 120

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You deserved it 164

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 603

You deserved it 511

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I agree, your life sucks 12 294

You deserved it 64 692

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I agree, your life sucks 1 630

You deserved it 153

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I agree, your life sucks 72 665

You deserved it 3 969

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I agree, your life sucks 4 677

You deserved it 278

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I agree, your life sucks 588

You deserved it 59

Same thing different taste

Don't answer

Thanks dad…

Gassy

Blame the pooch

Close quarters

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