Health: Today, I took my puppy outside to play. At one point, she stopped...

By toadface - 04/08/2009 23:25 - United States

Today, I took my puppy outside to play. At one point, she stopped chewing on her toy and ran over to give me a big kiss all over my face and mouth. A few minutes later I realized that her chew toy was actually the dried up carcass of a toad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 509

You deserved it 7 972

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Same thing different taste

By SHIT-BREATH - 05/06/2013 16:03 - United Kingdom - Chepstow

Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 490

You deserved it 15 108

By Anonymous - 15/12/2013 06:47 - United States - Fresno

Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 362

You deserved it 35 751

By anonamous - 12/03/2012 21:45 - United States

Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 159

You deserved it 9 119

By Anonymous - 26/09/2014 19:44 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 892

You deserved it 4 505

By Cedar Buero - 05/03/2017 19:00 - United States - Cape Girardeau

Today, my dog thought it would be a good idea to use my phone as a chew toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 395

You deserved it 678

Good boy

By Anonymous - 09/12/2020 23:02 - Germany

Today, I told my mom that the puppy she was cuddling had a piece of dried poo stuck to its butt. Her reaction was to pluck the poo with her bare hands, put it on the coffee table next to my food and continue cuddling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 104

By Pisser - 26/06/2014 04:57 - United States - Portland

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 180

You deserved it 5 710

By Caqtusmonkey - 25/08/2016 15:28 - United States - Arlington

Today, I heard my dog chewing on something. I called her over, held out my hand, and told her to drop it. She dropped it into my hand, and I was proud of her. That was until I realized it was cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 781

You deserved it 1 799

By Username - 02/08/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 473

You deserved it 5 294

By AD240Z - 16/12/2016 11:39

Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 599

You deserved it 641

Hacksaw 4

Wednesday 5 August 2009 9:08

D'awwwww. Puppies are the bestest.

xtraonionsnomayo 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 9:11

That's puppy love for you.

Comments

teehee520 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 9:06

That's disgusting... FYL

LP95 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 9:20

I'll take a more traditional approach to this troll-post: YDI FOR HAVING A DOG

LP95 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 9:47

Buried here too? this won't sit to well with the rest of the trolls.

Eggers 2

Friday 28 October 2011 22:48

uh no, ydi for letting your dog lick your mouth (which btw is a sign of dominance. youre that puppie's bitch now)

Hacksaw 4

Wednesday 5 August 2009 9:08

D'awwwww. Puppies are the bestest.

xtraonionsnomayo 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 9:11

That's puppy love for you.

BingerGitch 15

Friday 12 December 2014 4:53

Puppies are the best.

jackalope104 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 9:12

Big deal. Just go wash your face off

caancoha 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 9:15

That's so adorable! Don't forget the licking of his feces-covered anus.

M13LO 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 9:17

luckily he didn't stick his tounge in your mouth

Twin_Uzis 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 9:18

HAHA. This is a great one.

americayay 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 9:22

YDI for letting her slobber all over your face either way. I mean, BEST CASE SCENARIO, her tongue has been all over her little lady parts. Ew.

cataelophobia 1

Wednesday 5 August 2009 20:04

seriously. my little brother has a dog fetish or something too, he will purposely walk up to my dog and stick my dogs whole nose/mouth into his. YDI for not seeing your dog was chewing on something dead, then letting it lick your mouth.