Intimacy: Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth...

By Ariel - 02/06/2009 12:19 - Israel

Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 392

You deserved it 7 763

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Same thing different taste

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 487

You deserved it 11 065

Planning

By stargate25 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Denver

Today, my wife sent me a Google Calendar reminder for "sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 207

You deserved it 11 876

By tinypenis - 04/06/2013 12:15 - United States - Jamaica

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 816

You deserved it 71 830

By manlyman - 05/04/2009 13:32 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I are having some fertility problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said, "Mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 283

You deserved it 5 287

By Username - 04/09/2010 13:24 - France

Today, my email got hacked and sent all my contacts something for Viagra. My husband thinks I really sent it to him on purpose and now won't even talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 155

You deserved it 3 287

By ncjarhead - 24/04/2010 23:38 - United States

Today, I discovered the same erotic pictures my wife emailed to me while I was deployed were emailed to several other guys by her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 094

You deserved it 3 121

By for my brother in law - 27/07/2016 07:10 - United States - Oxnard

Today, I sent a love message to my wife asking if she was horny. Minutes later, I realized that I sent it to my mother in law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 851

You deserved it 6 760

By Mavis - 03/02/2009 07:54 - Canada

Today, I received an email invitation to a dating web site. It was from my father-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 196

You deserved it 3 232

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 05:01 - United States

Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 296

You deserved it 13 174

By ThisBlows - 21/09/2011 17:20 - United States

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 358

You deserved it 8 816

Ilovelife07 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 20:13

damnnn thats rough. forward her a breast enlargement offer

DarthFurby 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 20:08

Haha ouch. Kind of a bitch way to give you the hint.

Comments

DarthFurby 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 20:08

Haha ouch. Kind of a bitch way to give you the hint.

xxbadassbitchxx 0

Friday 2 April 2010 23:38

is she a slutty wife? lol dump the bitch

liamkilcoyne 0

Tuesday 8 June 2010 0:55

hahah so funny. try and find one to revive bucket fanny and wizards sleeves :D

Mr_Positive 3

Tuesday 2 June 2009 20:08

I think she was really jk, otherwise she'd talk to you about it and suggest it straight up front

Fisshie 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 20:10

Take the hint.

hpnerd 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 20:10

your name is Ariel?

seonfire 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 20:10

*HINT HINT*

trish27 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 20:10

Oh....wow.... I'm sorry, but that is hilarious!

genius_man16 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 20:12

I hope she was kidding. If she wasn't I'd leave her. You don't want to be married to someone so superficial.

Ilovelife07 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 20:13

damnnn thats rough. forward her a breast enlargement offer

ChronicReese 3

Friday 28 December 2018 3:04

lmao

FYourSEXLYFE 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 20:13

#7 has obviously never given someone an ******...

deliciouskaek 1

Tuesday 2 June 2009 20:13

I lol'd.

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The Top

Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 177

Today, I'm once again stuck on the side of the road. I was borrowing my housemate's old car and it broke down. This comes only days after my own broke down (and will take 3 weeks to repair). None of this is helping my sudden temper and mood swings that have come as a side-effect of discontinuing my anti-depressants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 125

The Top

Today, my family was discussing the new rules of the house we are moving in. They told my sister she couldn't have any boys in her room. They didn't tell me I couldn't have any girls in my room. Even my parents think I can't get a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 264

You deserved it 4 987

Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 430

You deserved it 3 669

Today, my husband is "too busy" and refuses to even talk with me for more than two minutes, but has enough time to spend hour-long phone conversations with his buddies. If only I were not stuck with him and our second baby at home during a pandemic… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 195

Today, I was at the gym. I'm 360 lbs and have finally decided it's time to change that. Some girl and her two bitch friends thought it'd be fun to follow me and belittle me at everything I did. When I mentioned it to the staff, they said that they were just "encouraging" me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 148

You deserved it 2 273

Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell, "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said, "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 459

You deserved it 3 446

Today, I had sex with someone new for the first time after my 10 year relationship ended. The person was a friend who had been making serious sexual references toward me on and off over the year I've known him. I don't know if I'm more embarrassed that he couldn't keep it up, or that I came from anticipation anyways. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 275

Same thing different taste

Planning

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