Kids and Health: Today, I felt so unwell that I didn't fall asleep until 4 AM.... - FML

By Calimero0 - 05/12/2017 01:30

Today, I felt so unwell that I didn't fall asleep until 4 AM. The baby woke up at 5, ready to start the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 266

You deserved it 560

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Same thing different taste

Bumpy ride

By Mum2be - 25/07/2021 02:01

Today, my baby kept me up all night, and I only got 3 hours sleep. Normal, right? He's not even born yet and I'm only 5 months along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 201

Forgetful

By Jane - 02/03/2024 12:00 - Switzerland

Today, I woke up unusually early for an appointment and got ready real quick. Only after passing the front door did I realize I had forgotten my sleeping baby inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 265

White light/White heat

By Anonymous - 27/08/2022 10:00 - Australia

Today, I didn't get to sleep until 5 a.m., as I stayed up to finish off a big project that I have been working on for the past week. I was then woken up at 6 a.m. by my daughter saying she was ready for school. School starts at 9 a.m., and is a 2-minute drive away. I'm now at work, living off an hour of sleep and coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 254

Chainsaw

By Anonymous - 21/08/2021 07:01 - United Kingdom

Today, after a very poor night's sleep, I've had to stay awake and do housework while my husband, who slept like a baby last night, keeps on sleeping because he "didn't sleep well." He was snoring all night long, the reason I didn't sleep well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 120

By yrfavweapon - 02/07/2010 19:29 - United States

Today, after two hours, I finally got my very cranky, sick baby to fall asleep. Five minutes later, a neighbor started shooting off fireworks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 515

You deserved it 3 871

By adderallgirl - 12/06/2009 20:04 - United States

Today, I woke up feeling like shit after I had spent the whole night taking care of my sick boyfriend. He got up early, feeling great, bouncing around the house. When I finally got up I told him I didn't feel well and he yelled at me for being a bitch in the morning that slows him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 940

You deserved it 5 326

Burn out

By ShitOuttaLuck - 02/10/2021 20:00

Today, I'm dead on my feet after being awake since 1AM with the baby. I begged my wife to watch both the baby and our four year-old for an hour while I napped. She refused, and instead said she needed a rest more. Her reason? “I might need to do a shit later.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 162

By Anonymous - 19/03/2019 08:00 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, I've reached a level of tired I didn't think was possible. I've had less than 3 hours sleep in the last 72 hours and have not slept more than 20 minutes each stretch because my newborn is so unsettled. The baby has been peacefully sleeping for the last 3 hours and I can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 038

You deserved it 280

Sleepless in Singapore

By Anonymous - 30/07/2022 10:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I was having trouble sleeping due to jet lag. I was finally sleepy and looking forward to a decent night of rest when my 4 year-old woke up and refused to stay in his room or try to rest. The next two hours involved him shouting at me, kicking me, and crying because he wanted Daddy, who is on a business trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 801

You deserved it 192

By better late than never - 08/05/2015 21:32

Today, and for the first time in months, I woke up feeling well rested and ready to face the day. At 7pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 282

You deserved it 3 711

Next

Top comments

MadJessTic 29

Tuesday 5 December 2017 2:53

Welcome to Parenthood! Its crazy, it can definitely suck at times. But in the end, is Totally Worth ALL of it!

Lobby_Bee 17

Tuesday 5 December 2017 3:06

Two shots of whiskey should quiet the baby down.

Comments

MadJessTic 29

Tuesday 5 December 2017 2:53

Welcome to Parenthood! Its crazy, it can definitely suck at times. But in the end, is Totally Worth ALL of it!

Allie614032 34

Tuesday 5 December 2017 2:58

Try to nap when your baby does. Just make sure to be nearby or leave on the monitor so you can hear when (s)he wakes again :)

Lobby_Bee 17

Tuesday 5 December 2017 3:06

Two shots of whiskey should quiet the baby down.

Manav Shukla 7

Tuesday 5 December 2017 11:16

Lol nice idea.... ???

exileonmainst 16

Tuesday 5 December 2017 3:31

Feed the baby to the squirrels and you’ll have your sleep.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 5 December 2017 3:47

If you fell asleep in the garage, you would have got to sleep at 2 am and you wouldn't hear the baby over the industrial fans.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 6 December 2017 6:45

Where are all of these children coming from? I’m not even getting laid, yet I’m having offspring!!!!

manb91uk 22

Tuesday 5 December 2017 13:24

I bet you REALLY wish your neighbor hadn’t poked those holes in your condom now eh?

ChakatBlackstar 29

Tuesday 5 December 2017 16:31

And yet my mother insists I should have one of these terrors for myself. I have yet to hear a compelling reason that can override the horror of stories like this.

sweetbliss3 37

Wednesday 6 December 2017 3:41

ahh, the luxury of not having kids. enjoy the screaming. seriously, feel better.

Seymore Collins 7

Wednesday 6 December 2017 10:28

It's weird what you have to do when you have kids right? lol

gbomb82 5

Wednesday 6 December 2017 21:54

next time use Nyquill

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The Top

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend for cheating on me. I refused his calls, so he texted, not to apologize, but to say I'd "left some clothes in his suitcase"; i.e., he stole some of my clothes. When he didn't get the response from me that he was hoping for, he texted, "I'm wearing your shorts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 120

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, "Don't get naked in front of the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 730

You deserved it 4 481

The Top

Today, we were slowly introducing my daughter to the pool to help her get over her terrible fear of water. My father-in-law scoffed, called us pussies, and tossed my daughter straight into the water. When I threw him out, he insisted he was just trying to teach her to swim "the right way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 206

You deserved it 281

Today, I'm on bed rest after a major surgery. I can walk to the bathroom but can barely raise my hands. At the hospital, my mom gave this dramatic speech of being there whenever I needed her. When I asked her to come make me breakfast, she didn’t show up til noon then complained I was in a bad mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 100

Today, I shit the bed. Like, full on shit. I had to go ahead and throw my clothes away. It made it all the way to the mattress. The worst part, it didn’t even wake me up, my alarm did, so I have no idea how long I was sleeping in my own shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 311

Today, is Christmas day. Normally, I'd spend it with family. However, my boss decided everyone has to work today, despite the fact that there's enough people who want to work to run the place. Apparently it's "fairer" if we all have to do it - except him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 710

You deserved it 2 330

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet whatsoever. I turned on my phone to get notifications, hoping to see a message or two that I'd missed while gone. There was 1 notification, telling me how many FMLs were posted while I was away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 163

You deserved it 3 341

Today, I was a month away from being seizure-free long enough to be able to get my licence when I experienced one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030

You deserved it 92