Today, my dad instituted a policy that if I want to hang out...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Scorpion894 - 15/07/2018 16:58

Today, my dad instituted a policy that if I want to hang out with anyone; friends, girlfriend, etc. I must give him a 12 hour notice, otherwise I am not able to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 6

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

hellboy5099 18

Tuesday 17 July 2018 20:02

he seems more like an HR manager

AngryKitten 24

Tuesday 17 July 2018 22:02

rip lil nigga

Comments

hellboy5099 18

Tuesday 17 July 2018 20:02

he seems more like an HR manager

AngryKitten 24

Tuesday 17 July 2018 22:02

rip lil nigga

Keywords

Love Music Cute Gross Coworkers TMI Work Racism Customers Kids Scary Gamers Technology Geek Miscellaneous Neighbours DIY Relatable Social Media Ironic Awkward Cheating Sex Animals Health Insects Plumbing Money Insurance Farts

The Top

Today, my boyfriend came over. We'd planned on losing out virginities today. What we didn't plan on was having my 9-year-old brother and his friends making a video of "What teens do when no one is home." They taped the whole thing, including the five minutes it took us to get the condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 960

You deserved it 931

Today, I had to drive my grandmother to the emergency room. I periodically tried to call my parents but neither of them picked up, even when I called the house. We sat there for 6 hours and still no one took her to a room, and no response. Mom finally called back, only to tell me to get her a pack of cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 63

The Top

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 407

You deserved it 31 973

Today, my boyfriend got so baked, he thought I was in the washing machine. I came downstairs to find him sitting in a puddle of soaking wet clothes, crying about where I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 021

You deserved it 3 033

Today, my boss refused to give me vacation time for my wedding and honeymoon because she didn't have a honeymoon and because of that apparently neither should I. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 959

You deserved it 2 274

Today, I went to work at my new job, where I thought it would be super easy because I shop there all the time, and already know where everything is. Turns out, they're remodelling the store, so I don't know where anything is anymore, and the bosses get mad at me for being too slow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 589

You deserved it 425

Today, after my 7 year-old learned at school that water that goes down the sink and toilets is cleaned and then turns up in the taps as drinking water, he is now refusing to drink it at all in case it is recycled toilet water, and if he carries on he may need to be hospitalised for dehydration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 160

Today, I invited my very animal-phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved, so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 717

You deserved it 12 204