Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my brother slapped me across the face with a piece of raw chicken for not liking his Instagram post. FML

Today, while waiting in line to get my medication, a man who just got his prescription looked me up and down and said "Penis pills, right? Ya look like the type." Then he walked out as a couple of other guys in line started snickering. FML

#21478497
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21908) - you deserved it (1666)

On 10/11/2015 at 2:45am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that what I thought was "acne" is actually an allergic reaction to a cream I've been using for years. I thought the cream was helping me with the breakouts but my doctor says the real acne probably went away naturally years ago. FML

#21477917
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23848) - you deserved it (2341)

On 10/09/2015 at 1:34pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I complained about being bored to death on Facebook. Someone took it as a suicide threat and called the police. They showed up at my apartment and my workplace. FML

#21477487
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23696) - you deserved it (3253)

On 10/08/2015 at 9:48am - health - by Nucleus (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I found out I'm allergic to mosquito repellent. I fly out on a two month trip to India on Saturday. FML

#21477352
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23123) - you deserved it (2146)

On 10/07/2015 at 10:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML

#21477092
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12270) - you deserved it (30490)

On 10/07/2015 at 7:29am - health - by -_- (man) - United States (California)

Today, after hearing the results of my spinal tap, following several scans, my doctor said discovering that I have Multiple Sclerosis was a "happy accident". FML

#21476805
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22398) - you deserved it (1384)

On 10/06/2015 at 12:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my clinical instructor told me to stop being so negative, to get over myself, and to focus on nursing school. I'm only distracted because 3 days ago I was told I might have colon cancer. FML

#21476796
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24333) - you deserved it (1358)

On 10/06/2015 at 11:29am - health - by edavis1993 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my dad has been using the flip-flops I wear in the shower. The reason I wear them is to prevent myself from getting his nasty foot fungus. FML

#21476743
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23150) - you deserved it (1517)

On 10/06/2015 at 7:13am - health - by Lord Kane of Flatulon (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at my annual checkup, the doc looks down at my foot and says, "Oh, you have an extra toenail. 6, huh?" Then sort of scraping at the side of my foot below the pinky toe, he pulls off a long piece of dead, dried skin and says, "Oh." FML

#21476672
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20557) - you deserved it (5985)

On 10/06/2015 at 12:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dentist and his hygienist were flirting while they worked on my mouth. I didn't really mind, however I definitely minded when the hygienist pierced my gum with her tool because she was laughing at one of his jokes. FML

#21476504
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24320) - you deserved it (1321)

On 10/05/2015 at 5:02pm - health - by urbantrashcan (woman) - United States

Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML

#21476456
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22396) - you deserved it (3513)

On 10/05/2015 at 3:20pm - health - by ouch - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: