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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed and suggested I get a thesaurus. FML

#20485855
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22703) - you deserved it (1487)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:52am - health - by Miss Blairgowrie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mother "checked in" to rehab on Facebook. The same rehab that told her to hand over her smartphone. The dumbass was smart enough to steal my phone and dumb enough to get it confiscated. FML

#20485491
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20636) - you deserved it (1682)

On 01/29/2013 at 10:18pm - health - by motherless - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML

#20485077
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24462) - you deserved it (6398)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:56pm - health - by fatty milkshakes - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

#20484554
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23595) - you deserved it (1924)

On 01/29/2013 at 9:51am - health - by oh no (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML

#20484025
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6069) - you deserved it (29182)

On 01/28/2013 at 11:23pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML

#20483441
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16861) - you deserved it (1824)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:02pm - health - by shitty situation - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to have major oral surgery. Needless to say I am in need of some heavy pain medication. My pharmacist insists that my surgeon never called in my medicine, and my surgeon insists otherwise. This has been going back and forth for hours. FML

#20483291
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21667) - you deserved it (1105)

On 01/28/2013 at 4:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, at 24, I still can't grow a single bit of facial hair. Well, at least not on the right side of my face. FML

#20481856
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21034) - you deserved it (1686)

On 01/27/2013 at 8:08pm - health - by ihatemylife - United States (Illinois)

Today, a cyclone hit my city. Though everywhere else is flooding, my house is fine. Well, that was until the toilet decided to overflow and regurgitate the entire town's sewerage. So now my only bathroom is covered in sewage, and I can't go anywhere else because of the flooding. FML

#20481750
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20854) - you deserved it (1155)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:47pm - health - by shitday - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was on a ladder at work, fetching some stock from one of the storage shelves. Some teenage kid thought it would be fucking hilarious to grab the ladder and violently shake it. He hadn't bet on me being startled enough to fall off and fracture my elbow on the floor. FML

#20481589
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27841) - you deserved it (1766)

On 01/27/2013 at 4:59pm - health - by fucking teen cunts (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

#20480979
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33894) - you deserved it (6998)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went shopping first thing in the morning to avoid the crowd. Having recently had surgery on my knee, I used an electric scooter to shop. The scooter died in the middle of the store. No one was around to help me. FML

#20480640
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24060) - you deserved it (3045)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:23am - health - by crippled shopper - United States (Illinois)

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

#20478409
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30634) - you deserved it (3978)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom



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