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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

#21249060
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34737) - you deserved it (3149)

On 08/31/2014 at 1:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my brother thought jumping out and punching me in the stomach would cure my hiccups. Yeah. Didn't work. FML

#21246592
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32824) - you deserved it (2733)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50718) - you deserved it (9747)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21245038
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39219) - you deserved it (3899)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:17pm - health - by sharkgirl4 - United States (California)

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42132) - you deserved it (5973)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my doctor wasn't kidding when he said "sudden diarrhea may occur" with my new medication. I learned this while walking my dog a mile away from my house. FML

Today, while taking out the trash, I swung the bag back and forth, which caused it to slide across my leg. An opened aluminum can inside the bag ended up slicing through my calf, causing heavy bleeding. Baked beans sent me to the hospital. FML

Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML

#21237096
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34278) - you deserved it (14049)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:46pm - health - by fatty (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to a job interview, and a guy ahead of me went to enter the building, only to walk face-first into a glass door. I rushed to help him up, and after we had a good laugh about it, I turned to walk inside, only to walk straight into the door as well. FML

#21236025
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41215) - you deserved it (8848)

On 08/12/2014 at 5:23pm - health - by facefuckedguy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, it's been 10 days since my family and I have been visiting France. I've always wanted to try their culinary specialties but my dad says we "can't trust them". We've eaten at McDonald's 9/10 times. FML

#21235566
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43990) - you deserved it (3695)

On 08/12/2014 at 2:23am - health - by theshire - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I went directly from the shopping mall to the hospital. My sister had slammed my hand in the car door, all because I considered purchasing a dress that looked like something she might buy for herself. FML

#21235533
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39469) - you deserved it (2965)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:34am - health - by vicious_fashion (woman) - United States (Idaho)



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