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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I farted myself awake, in a car full of my boyfriend's family. FML

#21491232
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23701) - you deserved it (2913)

On 11/11/2015 at 11:52am - health - by The horror... (woman) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, I fractured my shinbone after slipping on a leaf. FML

#21491133
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21402) - you deserved it (2126)

On 11/11/2015 at 6:03am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found out everyone in my neighborhood thinks that I'm a beaten woman due to the reoccurring ambulances in front of my house at night. My kid just chokes on everything, and they don't believe me. FML

#21490067
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22635) - you deserved it (2213)

On 11/08/2015 at 7:36pm - health - by NotABeatenWoman (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML

#21489374
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24299) - you deserved it (1997)

On 11/06/2015 at 9:03pm - health - by Anonymouse -

Today, I asked my school counselor in strict confidence for advice on how to help a friend of mine, who has bulimia. When I got home, I found out that "someone" had called my parents and told them that I'm bulimic. They won't believe the truth. FML

#21489282
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23039) - you deserved it (1517)

On 11/06/2015 at 4:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth worked on. I got tongue-tied and instead of asking if they could anesthetize me, I accidentally asked if they could euthanize me. FML

#21488826
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20189) - you deserved it (2343)

On 11/05/2015 at 3:52pm - health - by EnderHorse - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was suffering from acid reflux. I was told that drinking water laced with baking soda would help. Nope, all it did was create a huge belch that made me vomit all over myself. FML

#21488401
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20965) - you deserved it (3417)

On 11/04/2015 at 1:26pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I learned the hard way that my boyfriend lied about getting a vasectomy before we met, in spite of knowing how phobic I am of pregnancy and kids. His defense? "I figured you'd change your mind someday, because all you chicks love babies." FML

Today, I took my nephew to the roller rink and I broke not one arm but both. Now I can't even wipe. FML

#21487881
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20019) - you deserved it (1649)

On 11/03/2015 at 1:13pm - health - by Broken - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother in law basically said I deserve my breast cancer, all because I declined to take part in one of her "March Against Cancer" events a while ago. I guess donating money to cancer research instead of going on a meaningless march really messed up my karma. FML

#21486368
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27098) - you deserved it (1637)

On 10/31/2015 at 1:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I dropped my phone between my legs and tried to catch it with my thighs. Instead, the phone fell through just as I crushed my own balls with my legs. FML

#21486155
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19508) - you deserved it (4707)

On 10/30/2015 at 1:01pm - health - by MedChew - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, when I went out to get some groceries with my mother, a small girl came up to me and said I was an "ugly egg" because I'm a bald girl. I had to shave my head in order to have brain surgery to relieve me of the symptoms of my neurological disorder. FML

#21486101
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29218) - you deserved it (1489)

On 10/30/2015 at 9:43am - health - by an egg - United States (Michigan)

Today, I knocked a girl lightly in the head with a prop at a costume party. I apologized profusely to the drama queen as she walked away blinking and holding her head. My boyfriend then told me that she had recently had brain surgery and it was hard for her to even leave the house. FML



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