Today, I told my husband that I think he has ADHD. He was offended and began to argue, then he got distracted by a dog outside. FML

by hannamacintosh / 07/25/2016 at 10:13am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my friend and I were brushing our teeth, standing side by side. We both have a sympathy gag reflex. He brushed his tongue and gagged, which caused me to gag. So we had a never ending gag-fest until we both began throwing up and couldn't stop until one of us could manage to hold it in. FML

by StateOfEuphoria / 07/24/2016 at 6:52pm / United States (Mississippi) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, what was meant to be a fun hour-long paddle with a friend turned into a 5 hour ordeal involving a coast guard helicopter, an ambulance, a hospital visit and a ruined canoe. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2016 at 6:02pm / Health

Today, I went to the store to get groceries. After getting all the stuff I need, and was heading towards the checkout point, I heard a baby cry and instantly felt coldness on my shirt. Yes I was lactating, and yes it was noticeable. FML

by gamerlaura / 07/21/2016 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Gwynedd) / Health

Today, I thought my knee hurt because of over exercising in the gym. Then I remembered it was because I smacked it against my chair so hard I crumbled down and couldn't move for 5 minutes. And how I remembered? I did it again. FML

by rnw / 07/21/2016 at 1:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML

by slaughterteddy / 07/20/2016 at 7:23pm / United States / Health

Today, I went to a new doctor. While filling out charts she looked up and said, "I'm assuming you are single." FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2016 at 6:28pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I dropped my knitting project while I was sitting down, but I managed to catch it between my legs. So my knitting needles also caught me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2016 at 2:40am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, after 6 dentist visits, 2 root canals, and $1,500 that I'll likely have to sell vital organs to pay, the agonizing tooth pain I've had for months is unrelenting. Apparently, shrugging and offering to experimentally yank all my bottom teeth is my smurf-shit of a dentist's actual plan. FML

by aintgotnoteeth / 07/19/2016 at 1:53pm / Health

Today, I was at a really big party and everyone was showing off by flipping into the pool one by one. When it was my go, I attempted a back flip, cracked my head open on the side of the pool, and was rushed to hospital. Now everyone hates me cause the party was forced to shut down. FML

by jeremyr5678 / 07/18/2016 at 7:02pm / Health

Today, I had to visit a new office building for a meeting. Halfway through the meeting, I got really nauseous and needed to throw up. I ran to find a bathroom, but got lost and ended up in a printing room. With no other option, I was forced to puke into a large envelope. FML

by Jesstanothergurl / 07/18/2016 at 3:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I told my parents that I was going on a diet to lose weight and I wanted their support. They brought home donuts and pizza for dinner. FML

by mattlikesfunions / 07/18/2016 at 2:56pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I finally finished a gruelling shift at the hospital. I hadn't slept in over 30 hours, so I was happy to get out. I was quickly rushed back in after I collapsed in the parking lot and cracked my head open. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2016 at 11:16am / United States (Indiana) / Health