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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got a yeast infection, caused by the antibiotics for my UTI. I got the UTI after having sex for the first time in a year. A couple of minutes of sex have ruined my health. FML

#21334755
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26633) - you deserved it (3846)

On 01/10/2015 at 10:21pm - health - by so much for romance - United States (New York)

Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML

#21333974
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38967) - you deserved it (3055)

On 01/09/2015 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML

#21332664
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34487) - you deserved it (5136)

On 01/07/2015 at 12:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. I called the fire department and told them where I was. They said they'd be right there and not to panic. It's hour 6. FML

#21332463
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33233) - you deserved it (2040)

On 01/07/2015 at 1:03am - health - by random875 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was working out on a horse farm. I slipped and fell on some ice, whacking my head on the metal gate in the process. As I was getting up, I accidentally grabbed the electric fence. FML

Today, I woke up with every muscle in my body hurting so bad I could hardly walk. Participation in a triathlon, or overdoing it at the gym? No, the results of a day spent cleaning the house. FML

#21331613
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25825) - you deserved it (5961)

On 01/05/2015 at 9:51pm - health - by FlabbyPants (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my coworker asked me if I was on a diet for my New Year's resolution. When I said no, she replied, "Why not?" FML

#21331074
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29465) - you deserved it (4042)

On 01/05/2015 at 1:08am - health - by FeelingFatastic - United States

Today, I learned that my mother has been telling people that I need anger management. I'm not attending anger management, I'm attending therapy to aid in my recovery from abusive relationships. She doesn't understand the difference or why I find it upsetting. FML

#21330630
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28365) - you deserved it (1910)

On 01/04/2015 at 12:25pm - health - by thxmom - United States (Utah)

Today, I went into labor and got my husband drive me to the hospital. Instead of staying by my side, he rushed back home for a World of Warcraft raid. His excuse? His friends were counting on him and they'd be pissed if he let them down. FML

#21330209
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40882) - you deserved it (5070)

On 01/03/2015 at 8:30pm - health - by Lady Cuntsnatch of Fallopia (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my step-dad explained to me why he doesn't need to wash his body. He condescendingly said, "Well when you shampoo your hair, the soap runs down your body and cleans everything." He's 37 years old. FML

#21329998
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29104) - you deserved it (2391)

On 01/03/2015 at 4:16pm - health - by Chicagoillinois (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd come over and help me move a heavy dresser so I could paint the wall behind it. After an hour of waiting for him, I decided to move it myself. He finally arrived, not ten minutes after I broke my toe when I accidentally dropped the dresser on it. FML

#21330063
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26824) - you deserved it (8904)

On 01/03/2015 at 12:53pm - health - by ko (woman) -

Today, after finishing my second glass of wine, I walked out of the bathroom and saw the tag on my hair dryer from last year's rehab visit. FML

#21329685
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20127) - you deserved it (14007)

On 01/02/2015 at 11:04pm - health - by mosaicevolution (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my sister compared me handling the news of recently being told that I have a devastating and very possibly fatal autoimmune disease, to that of a teenager being melodramatic. FML

#21329069
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32833) - you deserved it (2395)

On 01/02/2015 at 12:37am - health - by Sisterly Love - United States (Michigan)



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