Today, I got my own row on an almost full transatlantic flight. All it took was having food poisoning two hours into the flight. FML

by meish / 06/05/2016 at 9:16am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I was walking through a field with my boyfriend and he picked me some pretty flowers. I hugged him and leant in to sniff them. In doing so, I inhaled a bee up my nose and had to force it out my swollen nostril after it had stung me. FML

by lyinginbed / 06/04/2016 at 3:45pm / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I went in for a root canal. After a heavy dose of anesthetic, my tooth still wasn't numb, which I only realized when they started drilling. FML

Today, my girlfriend helped me apply liquid bandaid over an open wound. Unfortunately, she grabbed the liquid wart remover instead. FML

by Loki16 / 06/02/2016 at 4:40am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I've been chronically constipated so long that I was actually grateful for the sudden blast of diarrhea that ruined my pants. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2016 at 7:05am / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, I went to a party. After asking several people about the ingredients in a cake, I took one bite and ended up in the hospital with a severe reaction to the nuts that "definitely weren't" in it. FML

by unlucky / 05/31/2016 at 3:05pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Health

Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2016 at 11:30am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health

Today, my wheelchair was delivered. My brother and I were messing around with it when he rolled over my already injured foot. At least surgery is next week. FML

by ouch / 05/29/2016 at 7:27pm / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, after waiting months for an appointment with a doctor who specializes in the disease I have, I showed up at his practice, only to find the cops executing a search warrant. FML

by Rescheduled / 05/28/2016 at 4:44am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I realized my recent weight loss probably wasn't caused by working out and eating more healthily. It was from the tapeworm I discovered hanging out my ass after I took a crap. I had to pull it out with my bare hands. FML

by scarred for life / 05/28/2016 at 1:23am / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, due to a new tattoo, I can't wear a bra for the next few days. My coworker knows about it and thought it would be funny to blast the air-con all day. I swear I could have used my nipples to type this, instead of my fingers. FML

Today, I woke up with intense pain and bruising. It turned out I'd suffered such a rare kind of wrist bone dislocation that the doctors aren't sure how to fix it. FML

by chazzywazzy654 / 05/27/2016 at 9:20am / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was playing basketball in the searing heat with my friends. I jokingly told my friend that I was gonna die if I stayed out there much longer. Two minutes later, I got the ball and made the shot that won. Too bad I didn't see it, since I collapsed right as I took the shot and blacked out. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2016 at 12:07am / United States (South Carolina) / Health