Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22413) - you deserved it (3487)
On 03/14/2013 at 2:21am - health - by Kimberpoo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27777) - you deserved it (2819)
On 03/06/2013 at 9:53am - health - by ghgfd - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend told me that he may have an STD. When I asked who he was with before me, and where it might have come from, he listed off almost every single one of my friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28883) - you deserved it (3382)
On 03/05/2013 at 1:57pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my coach held a BBQ for the whole team. He told us to eat up, because we wouldn't be working out today. He lied. After eating the equivalent of a Thanksgiving dinner, we had to do team relays. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27917) - you deserved it (2946)
On 03/04/2013 at 5:24pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29690) - you deserved it (4833)
On 03/04/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by claytwin - United States
Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32645) - you deserved it (1890)
On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, after months of my doctor telling me that my heart palpitations are simply due to anxiety, and that I'm perfectly healthy, I decided to weight train to face my fears. Two hours later, I was in the emergency room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20911) - you deserved it (1750)
On 03/01/2013 at 10:17pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)
Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19485) - you deserved it (4791) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm - health - by JimiHendrix (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22245) - you deserved it (2264)
On 02/28/2013 at 5:33pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Ards)
Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25139) - you deserved it (2234)
On 02/26/2013 at 3:21am - health - by Brook (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went to use the restroom. I looked down at the toilet, and saw blood smeared all over the seat, as well as several dirty tampons in the floor. I confronted my girlfriend about the mess, only for her to reply with, "Well, what'd you expect? You live with a woman now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38060) - you deserved it (3237)
On 02/26/2013 at 1:29am - health - by GrossedOut (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46557) - you deserved it (3137) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)
Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25513) - you deserved it (2195)
On 02/25/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Monday 20 May 2013
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