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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML

#21379555
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25898) - you deserved it (2523)

On 03/22/2015 at 3:51pm - health - by uhoh.. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a girl asked me to check out her left breast, which she said she'd found a strange lump on. I'm an orthodontist. FML

#21379225
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27544) - you deserved it (2985)

On 03/22/2015 at 12:03am - health - by noway - United States (California)

Today, I mentioned to my mum that one of my friends is pregnant. She decided I was lying, that I'm the one who's actually pregnant, and that I'm going to get checked out by a doctor. FML

#21379171
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28562) - you deserved it (2290)

On 03/21/2015 at 10:27pm - health - by ellabellabooboo - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, because I thought I was about to have an asthma attack, I had a panic attack. Then, the panic attack caused me to have a real asthma attack. FML

#21378889
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27926) - you deserved it (3587)

On 03/21/2015 at 11:14am - health - by pikachu_43 - United States (California)

Today, I decided I would actually make use of my apartment complex's exercise equipment. My routine consisted of one mile on the treadmill, and 15 minutes on the toilet followed by 10 minutes of lying in the fetal position on my bath mat. Great core workout. FML

#21378520
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24768) - you deserved it (3981)

On 03/20/2015 at 5:43pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a call from the ICU. Apparently, my boyfriend has been there for 3 days and I'm the only person who didn't know. Even my parents have been to see him. FML

#21378357
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30761) - you deserved it (28)

On 03/20/2015 at 11:40am - health - by quietecho95 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I told my mom I've been having sleep issues and asked if she could take me to the doctor. She decided I just need to read the Bible more. Needless to say, I still can't sleep. FML

#21377689
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27266) - you deserved it (2161)

On 03/19/2015 at 10:24am - health - by david99021 (man) - Turkey (Ankara)

Today, I finally went to the doctor's about my severe anxiety. I am so used to putting on a happy performance around people that she didn't believe anything was wrong with me. FML

#21376536
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (173) - you deserved it (3239)

On 03/17/2015 at 5:35pm - health - by scared - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML

#21376371
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22737) - you deserved it (15280)

On 03/17/2015 at 12:52pm - health - by Iwtumn (woman) - Austria

Today, my mom and I made the bad decision to go hiking for some mother-daughter bonding even though we had little experience. My mother tumbled down a mountain named Tumbledown and I couldn't even enjoy the irony because I had to half carry her all the way back to the car. FML

#21375957
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26903) - you deserved it (3076)

On 03/16/2015 at 8:56pm - health - by manderpander21 - United States (New York)

Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML

#21375070
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35197) - you deserved it (2375)

On 03/15/2015 at 2:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I fell in the shower and knocked myself out. When I came to I turned off the water and called my mom. She seemed more worried about the amount of water I "wasted" than she was about me. FML

#21374975
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73) - you deserved it (2340)

On 03/15/2015 at 11:01am - health - by lordtimbit - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad decided that the best way to alleviate my crippling depression is to talk to me in a baby voice. FML

#21374972
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28488) - you deserved it (2972)

On 03/15/2015 at 10:57am - health - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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