Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I started lactating. That would be fine if I had a kid. Or was pregnant. Or wasn't 16. FML

Today, I ripped my stitches while taking a shit. FML

#21389247
105 comments

Today, my mother admitted to me that she sends me up and down the stairs to get things for her because she thinks I could use the exercise. FML

#21388731
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25169) - you deserved it (4659)

On 04/06/2015 at 4:49pm - health - by TheRunaway21 (woman) - United States

Today, I got hit by a car. Not a real one, though; my sister thought it would be funny to take her RC car and smash it over my head as hard as she could. FML

Today, I started having chest pains and shortness of breath. I thought I was having a heart attack and I asked my husband to take me to the hospital. He told me to wait because he'd just ordered a pizza. FML

#21387949
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30974) - you deserved it (2750)

On 04/05/2015 at 8:27am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

#21387543
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31929) - you deserved it (2502)

On 04/04/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by fuck right off (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, the last thing I remember before getting the shit beaten out of me at the bar, was my dipshit brother saying to me, "Dude, I'm not a racist, but" and then ranting about how non-whites should get out of America. FML

#21387285
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27411) - you deserved it (2764)

On 04/03/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was pulled over by a policeman. He thought I was drunk, after doing the "walk in a straight line" test and the "finger-to-nose" test. It wasn't until after I got a fine that I got it through to him that I have cerebellar ataxia, and that I wasn't drunk. FML

#21387213
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27441) - you deserved it (2141)

On 04/03/2015 at 8:42pm - health - by NotDrunk - United States (Texas)

Today, at my cousin's wedding, there was a bouquet toss. I jumped to catch it, only to get knocked down and crushed by a woman twice my size who'd jumped backwards. It still feels like someone shattered my ribs with a sledgehammer. FML

#21387046
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23467) - you deserved it (2251)

On 04/03/2015 at 2:08pm - health - by glocked and goaded (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to see my ill granddad in hospital. I saw lots of doctors around his bed, and they pronounced him dead, so I ran out crying. A little later, I found out that my granddad had been moved, and it was a different man in his bed. FML

#21386936
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32072) - you deserved it (3394)

On 04/03/2015 at 9:41am - health - by Ravhi Karia - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML

#21386410
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27152) - you deserved it (3058)

On 04/02/2015 at 8:51am - health - by RomanceFail - United States (Kentucky)

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

#21386342
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38588) - you deserved it (2086)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:43am - health - by usadisvet (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I dislocated my toe while putting on my socks. FML

#21384619
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28776) - you deserved it (4715)

On 03/31/2015 at 6:54am - health - by billy - United States (Massachusetts)



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