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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, and for the first time in months, I woke up feeling well rested and ready to face the day. At 7pm. FML

#21406879
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25236) - you deserved it (3136)

On 05/08/2015 at 5:32pm - health - by better late than never -

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML

#21406759
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25742) - you deserved it (3242)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:46pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my dad about my worries for my mental health. He then told me about the tracking device the aliens had implanted in his hand when they abducted him. There's nothing like family. FML

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by taking his new car to the automatic car wash. As soon as the water started, I realized that I forgot to close the sunroof. FML

#21404700
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14677) - you deserved it (24919)

On 05/04/2015 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My mom's reaction was, I shit you not, to tell me to "walk it off". FML

#21403286
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28613) - you deserved it (2359)

On 05/02/2015 at 5:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML

#21403099
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29932) - you deserved it (2026)

On 05/01/2015 at 8:33pm - health - by I'm just sick, really - United States (Missouri)

Today, my father tried to excuse his alcoholism by saying that his stomach stops working, and he needs to drink vodka to get it started again. FML

Today, I found out my anti-depressants are super-effective. So effective, they affect things they aren't even supposed to. Like my ability to pee. FML

#21401319
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25746) - you deserved it (1972)

On 04/28/2015 at 6:39pm - health - by full bladder - United States (Florida)

Today, during my shift at work, I started to feel really sick and started throwing up. While I had my head in a bag, I had several customers ask me for directions and another customer abuse me for my lack of service. FML

#21400980
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27795) - you deserved it (2075)

On 04/28/2015 at 1:24am - health - by vomitgirl - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I snuck downstairs to watch a midnight movie. One moment I'm trying to plug my headphones in, in the dark, and the next my dad's beating the shit out of me with a baseball bat. Turns out he snuck down after me for a midnight snack and thought I was a burglar disconnecting the TV. FML

#21399867
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33128) - you deserved it (4927)

On 04/26/2015 at 6:05am - health - by Anonymous (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, the pills my doctor prescribed for my extremely painful period cramps apparently have a side effect; excruciatingly painful cramps. I feel like I'm being repeatedly stabbed in the ovaries with a rusty fork. FML

#21398967
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28698) - you deserved it (2015)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my 23-year-old female friend that when I get my hysterectomy, I will still be able to poop. FML

#21398063
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23710) - you deserved it (1842)

On 04/22/2015 at 5:46pm - health - by biomajor99 - United States (New York)

Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML

#21397872
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29989) - you deserved it (5237)

On 04/22/2015 at 9:39am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)



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