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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I asked my spouse to help me apply some hemorrhoid relief cream, since I couldn't see what was going on down there clearly. Next time, I hope I'll remember if I'm still in a conference call with my online classmates so they don't witness the whole thing again. FML

Today, I noticed that I'm way more productive when I'm drinking than when I'm not. I think I just figured out why I'm related to so many alcoholics. FML

#21315807
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26206) - you deserved it (2803)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:17pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

#21315694
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35398) - you deserved it (4278)

On 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting on a fence watching a friend play soccer. He accidentally kicked the ball at my face and made me fall off the fence into mud. I laughed it off and got back on the fence. Two seconds later he did the same exact thing. I fell wrong and slammed my face into the fence. Pain. FML

#21315479
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26972) - you deserved it (5112)

On 12/11/2014 at 7:08am - health - by No thanks - United States

Today, while fasting for a medical test, my blood sugar became so low that I had heart palpitations and passed out. My doctor's advice? Fast, so he can run more tests. FML

#21314271
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29055) - you deserved it (2404)

On 12/09/2014 at 4:39am - health - by fucking moron (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out I have sodium fluoride poisoning. Apparently, my water has a high level of sodium fluorine. I've been drinking much more water lately trying to be healthier. FML

#21313951
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29897) - you deserved it (2280)

On 12/08/2014 at 6:23pm - health - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up with a swollen lump on my throat. It's extremely painful. My dad named it Gretchen and now talks about it as if it's a person. FML

#21311698
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26938) - you deserved it (2208)

On 12/04/2014 at 10:29pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I injured my knee during dance class. When it started to feel a little bit better, I tried dancing again. I tripped, fell, and broke my wrist. FML

#21311641
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26661) - you deserved it (5093)

On 12/04/2014 at 8:54pm - health - by dumb dancer - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realised I was far too attached to my duvet. Literally. I just got a large tattoo on my back, and my duvet somehow stuck to my skin during the night and formed part of the scab. I now have the joy of deciding whether to tear it off fast or peel it away slowly. FML

#21306764
65 comments

Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML

#21304063
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29912) - you deserved it (4927)

On 11/22/2014 at 7:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went to the doctor's with my pregnant sister, only to find out she still weighs less than me. FML

#21303583
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27233) - you deserved it (6609)

On 11/21/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by alli67 -

Today, I slipped on a wet floor at the supermarket and busted my nose. It wouldn't be as embarrassing if I hadn't missed the "CAUTION: WET FLOOR" sign that I'd put there myself just 30 minutes earlier. FML

#21302796
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27631) - you deserved it (8220)

On 11/20/2014 at 3:45pm - health - by fark (woman) - Ireland

Today, I realized that I ran out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML

#21302617
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27012) - you deserved it (5889)

On 11/20/2014 at 6:32am - health - by LemonTree (man) - Hungary



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  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

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