Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I found out how it feels to have a car door slammed shut on my hand, breaking two of my fingers. Hint: it's fucking painful. FML

#21509823
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20666) - you deserved it (1832)

On 12/31/2015 at 4:26pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand

Today, I had a CT scan done with contrast. My tech seemed competent in his job so I wasn't nervous, until he tried to start my IV. It took him 3 attempts to get it right. Not only was I stuck 3 times, he also blew one of my veins. I now have severely bruised arms and what look like track marks. FML

#21509598
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18673) - you deserved it (1514)

On 12/31/2015 at 12:47am - health - by pincushion - United States (California)

Today, I realised that it has got to the point that I don't even have to ask for my booze in the local off licence, they just hand me my bottle. FML

#21508725
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17079) - you deserved it (6064)

On 12/28/2015 at 1:30pm - health - by Cian_1 - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I'm spending Christmas Eve at the hospital. Why? Because when I blew my nose, a ball of flesh connected to a tendril of skin shot out, and it wouldn't go back up. FML

#21507325
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20575) - you deserved it (1374)

On 12/24/2015 at 2:01pm - health - by yek (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my dad let me fire one of his guns. This was a big deal because he rarely lets anyone so much as touch them. I was so excited, I forgot about about the recoil. Now I'm in the ER with a broken nose. FML

Today, I was in a car accident, two days before Christmas. I'm now laying at home, not able to walk. My whole family thinks that I'm joking. A car drove over my foot, I'm not joking. FML

#21506891
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20559) - you deserved it (1654)

On 12/23/2015 at 1:03pm - health - by julieriis - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, as I passed a printout over my shoulder to my mum, I managed to give myself a papercut on my tear duct. FML

#21506874
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22192) - you deserved it (2509)

On 12/23/2015 at 12:11pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany

Today, it's been three months since i went to my GP for a swollen foot. She sent me to a rheumatologist, a pulmonologist, vein ultrasound, DNA testing and finally an X-ray, which revealed I've been walking around on a broken foot. By now, the two bones are grown together at weird angles, forever. FML

Today, my constant constipation has become a running joke in my family; I heard my mom tell my dad that if he wants to keep his Christmas presents safe, he should ask me to eat them. FML

#21505211
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19519) - you deserved it (1567)

On 12/19/2015 at 12:01am - health - by aswamk - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, my doctor told me I needed to eat more salt to keep my blood pressure from dropping dangerously low. He only shrugged when I pointed out that he had previously told me to eat a low-salt diet to control my vertigo. FML

Today, I used my phone to take pictures of my hemorrhoids to show my doctor, forgetting I'd set my phone to upload all photos to a shared Dropbox account. My mother-in-law called. FML

Today, my boyfriend's bitch of a mother had surgery and now I'm expected to be her at-home nurse. I haven't been able to sit down for more than 5 minutes thanks to her and I've barely slept. FML

#21504406
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20730) - you deserved it (2788)

On 12/16/2015 at 10:41am - health - by SickOfYourShit - United States (Washington)

Today, my perfectly healthy grandmother came to stay for Christmas. First, she persuaded my family to give her my bedroom. That would have been fine, until she demanded she should also have a bucket to piss in under my bed too. FML

#21504325
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20228) - you deserved it (1294)

On 12/16/2015 at 3:58am - health - by chamberpottime (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: