Today, I'm getting a medical scan, so I had to drink a barium shake for breakfast. It was so disgusting that I puked it back up. Now I have to drink another one. FML

by 1942Ford / 05/07/2016 at 10:08am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I found out how it feels when someone slips and falls while they have a hypodermic needle in your arm. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2016 at 2:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I heard on television that a body was found in my city's water reservoir. Word is that it was dead for over a week. I've been drinking and showering with that water. FML

by filipkm / 05/06/2016 at 10:37am / Slovenia (Ljubljana) / Health

Today, my parents "suggested" I help them move house. I didn't realize that meant I would be carrying every stick of furniture out of their house. The muscles in my arms are so tight now that I can't straighten them. I can't wait to help them unpack tomorrow. FML

by Pain / 05/06/2016 at 7:34am / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, I took my neighbor, who lives alone, to the hospital as she was complaining of stomach pains. Being a healthcare professional, all signs pointed to appendicitis. We waited for 6 hours to be told she needed to poo. FML

by chocolateteacup / 05/06/2016 at 5:30am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, when getting my eyebrows waxed, the lady cursed "oh shit!" under her breath, right after waxing half of my brow off. FML

by blondessdoll / 05/04/2016 at 1:30pm / United States / Health

Today, I have an infected piercing because I'm allergic to the metal. My ear is so swollen that I can't remove the jewelry. It won't get better until I'm able to remove the jewelry. FML

by pierced / 05/01/2016 at 1:56pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my dentist pulled the wrong tooth. FML

by Fox_Undercover / 04/30/2016 at 4:33pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, while examining my busted nose in the mirror, I had a sneeze attack. Now it looks like someone got their throat slashed in my bathroom. FML

by jack the ripped / 04/30/2016 at 12:38am / United States / Health

Today, my mom claimed that lactose intolerance is a "myth" and told me to drink my damn milk because it's good for my bones. FML

by longing for emancipation / 04/29/2016 at 11:09pm / United States (South Dakota) / Health

Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2016 at 1:59pm / United States / Health

Today, the highlight of my whole month was finally being able to take a solid crap. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2016 at 1:11pm / United States (Iowa) / Health

Today, my doctor said I "might" have an enlarged heart and an irregular heartbeat. It "could" be seriously life-threatening and I "should" go to a specialist for further tests. My insurance refuses to cover my consultation with the specialist because the doctor's wording is too uncertain. FML

by DeathbyWording / 04/29/2016 at 1:05pm / United States (Alabama) / Health