Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19445) - you deserved it (1315)
On 09/29/2012 at 12:08am - health - by cedechan (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was so happy to be leaving the hospital after breaking my arm the night before. Just as I walked out of the doors, a huge ambulance team was running in at the same time and knocked me down full force. I now have a broken ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21440) - you deserved it (1405)
On 09/28/2012 at 1:34am - health - by red_headforlife - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19279) - you deserved it (1206)
On 09/27/2012 at 11:46am - health - by Dave (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14496) - you deserved it (5408) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 09/27/2012 at 12:10am - health - by Display - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4923) - you deserved it (3204)
On 09/26/2012 at 10:23am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17901) - you deserved it (1585)
On 09/25/2012 at 12:13am - health - by N/A (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had to admit that I desperately need anti-anxiety medication. Apparently, when you walk around a grocery store avoiding eye contact and generally acting "sketchy", management will call the police on you, who will then pat you down to be sure you aren't shoplifting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12267) - you deserved it (1310)
On 09/24/2012 at 3:18am - health - by AnxietyGirl - United States (Colorado)
Today, I learned that Nyquil has such an amazing effect on me, that it won't even allow me to wake up to go to the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14155) - you deserved it (1395)
On 09/23/2012 at 1:03am - health - by Nyquilwtf - United States
Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4944) - you deserved it (38907)
On 09/22/2012 at 2:24am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I went to a new dentist because I've been experiencing occasional toothache. Upon seeing my x-rays, he noticed something odd. Apparently, during a root canal a while ago, a piece of an instrument broke off, and has been lodged within ever since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19495) - you deserved it (812)
On 09/20/2012 at 5:34pm - health - by fuckalltwitardsintheface (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I decided to give blood for the first time in my life. As an 18-year-old, 5'1", 110lb woman, I guess I shouldn't have been allowed there, much less permitted to leave the room to get some food. I ended up passing out in the middle of the dining hall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11928) - you deserved it (2563)
On 09/19/2012 at 3:45pm - health - by partyrocker12 (woman) - United States
Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35539) - you deserved it (4587)
On 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm - health - by GMD (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I received the heels I'll be wearing at my best friend's wedding. The bride ordered them for us to match the dresses. They're six-inch platform heels. I have three broken toes and am still wearing a boot. The wedding is next weekend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13886) - you deserved it (1070)
On 09/18/2012 at 12:35am - health - by AnnieThrax (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Monday 17 June 2013
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