Today, I sneezed hard while eating some quite spicy potato chips at my friend's house. Some of the chips passed to the nasal cavity, and I ended up having to pick my nose for some pointy, spicy chips shrapnel. FML

by yankesik / 01/03/2016 at 5:42pm / Poland (Wielkopolskie) / Health

Today, a friend who visited me a week ago with "allergy rashes" told me that it's actually scabies, and she hopes I didn't catch it from her. It takes 2-6 weeks for the symptoms to show and I can't use the medication for it anyway because I'm pregnant. FML

by itchyyet / 01/03/2016 at 12:52am / Australia (South Australia) / Health

Today, I have a stomach bug. I went to go downstairs, and my cat decided to dart between my legs, causing me to trip and fall down the stairs in a pinwheel of vomit. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 12:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I sneezed incredibly hard while eating a granola bar. 5 hours later, it's still hellishly painful to swallow. Please kill me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2016 at 10:46pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Health

Today, my life finally seemed to be getting on track after recovering from major depression, paying off most of my debt, and scoring an amazing job. And then I woke up. FML

by sad as shit / 12/31/2015 at 7:41pm / United States (Arkansas) / Health

Today, I had a CT scan done with contrast. My tech seemed competent in his job so I wasn't nervous, until he tried to start my IV. It took him 3 attempts to get it right. Not only was I stuck 3 times, he also blew one of my veins. I now have severely bruised arms and what look like track marks. FML

by pincushion / 12/31/2015 at 12:47am / United States (California) / Health

Today, it has got to the point that I don't even have to ask for my booze in the local off-licence, they just hand me my bottle. FML

by Cian_1 / 12/28/2015 at 1:30pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Health

Today, I'm spending Christmas Eve at the hospital. Why? Because when I blew my nose, a ball of flesh connected to a tendril of skin shot out, and it wouldn't go back up. FML

by yek / 12/24/2015 at 2:01pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Health

Today, my dad let me fire one of his guns. This was a big deal because he rarely lets anyone so much as touch them. I was so excited, I forgot about about the recoil. Now I'm in the ER with a broken nose. FML

by oliversoden101 / 12/24/2015 at 9:50am / United States (Florida) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as I passed a printout over my shoulder to my mum, I managed to give myself a papercut on my tear duct. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2015 at 12:11pm / Germany / Health

Today, it's been three months since i went to my GP for a swollen foot. She sent me to a rheumatologist, a pulmonologist, vein ultrasound, DNA testing and finally an X-ray, which revealed I've been walking around on a broken foot. By now, the two bones are grown together at weird angles, forever. FML

by DeeZeeMb / 12/20/2015 at 7:40am / Slovenia (Maribor Commune) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my constant constipation has become a running joke in my family; I heard my mom tell my dad that if he wants to keep his Christmas presents safe, he should ask me to eat them. FML

by aswamk / 12/19/2015 at 12:01am / Pakistan (Sindh) / Health

Today, my doctor told me I needed to eat more salt to keep my blood pressure from dropping dangerously low. He only shrugged when I pointed out that he had previously told me to eat a low-salt diet to control my vertigo. FML