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Today, I was sent to the front office for having blood shot eyes and smelling like smoke. I just didn't get enough sleep and had trouble putting my contacts in, and I always smell like smoke because of my parents' excessive smoking. They didn't believe me. My parents had to come in to back me up. FML

#21397058
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32268) - you deserved it (2165)

On 04/20/2015 at 8:16pm - health - by Phabia - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had a theatre performance. I had to put on a lot of makeup for the role, and one of the guys said I looked nice. I smiled and said thanks. Seconds later, I'd been sucker-punched by his girlfriend for "flirting" with her man. FML

#21396780
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29720) - you deserved it (2101)

On 04/20/2015 at 10:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML

#21395729
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29538) - you deserved it (10978)

On 04/18/2015 at 12:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to have a cervical biopsy. The doctor said I would feel slight cramping as she scraped cells from inside the cervix. I guess by "slight cramping" she meant I would shit, throw up, and then pass out. FML

#21395495
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32584) - you deserved it (2219)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:15pm - health - by khaoslife - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I coughed so hard that I fractured two ribs. FML

#21395325
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31924) - you deserved it (2667)

On 04/17/2015 at 5:47pm - health - by rachlette (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while mowing my backyard, I carelessly ran over a fire ant hill. Thousands of tiny stinging insects blowing towards you while you're wearing shorts and a t-shirt is definitely not fun. FML

#21395171
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27380) - you deserved it (5192)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:27am - health - by Mitchellbassists (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to get a colonoscopy. Which wouldn't have been so bad if they had removed the camera from my rectum before waking me up. FML

#21395025
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29865) - you deserved it (2058)

On 04/17/2015 at 12:56am - health - by Camera - United States (California)

Today, my 13-year-old sister told me that she wants to get pregnant soon to stop her periods for a while. I can't believe we're related. FML

Today, I decided to be healthy and make a fresh juice out of carrots and apples. Apparently, something had gone bad and now my asshole feels like a bomb just went off inside it. Good start to a healthy lifestyle. FML

#21393477
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26894) - you deserved it (3984)

On 04/14/2015 at 11:08am - health - by howaboutthemcarrots - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I finally heard a woman tell me "I've never seen one so big before!" Too bad it was my dentist talking about one of my cavities. FML

#21392914
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29053) - you deserved it (5495)

On 04/13/2015 at 11:40am - health - by gottaflossmoreoften (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML

#21392424
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25827) - you deserved it (2167)

On 04/12/2015 at 3:49pm - health - by drewcaver - United States (Texas)

Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML

#21392323
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29990) - you deserved it (2758)

On 04/12/2015 at 11:42am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, I got headbutted for saying that Nutella is overrated. FML

#21391724
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29191) - you deserved it (18164)

On 04/11/2015 at 8:34am - health - by jamisbetter - United Kingdom



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