Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51545) - you deserved it (3370)
On 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by DemiRawrs - United States
Today, I had to go buy diaper rash cream. For myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30478) - you deserved it (5995)
On 05/01/2013 at 2:40am - health - by ChangMu - United States (Iowa)
Today, I had to be rushed to the hospital when I started sneezing uncontrollably and got a huge rash. It turns out I'm highly allergic to a chemical in most cleaning supplies. Great. I just got a job as a house cleaner for a very rich family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37016) - you deserved it (2160)
On 04/30/2013 at 4:04am - health - by ava_henryy - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43189) - you deserved it (10436)
On 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I had to go to the hospital for an allergic reaction. Turns out, I'm highly allergic to cherry blossoms. My wife and I just bought a house and moved into a new neighborhood. Almost every block in this neighborhood, including my own, has rows and rows of cherry blossom trees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37499) - you deserved it (2477)
On 04/28/2013 at 6:10pm - health - by verycherryfucked (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I popped a pimple while stopped at a red light. When I looked over the woman in the car next to me was hysterically laughing, and had her camera phone out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35105) - you deserved it (13316)
On 04/28/2013 at 6:28am - health - by msarosi - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was coming home from a much-needed vacation. The time I spent on the plane consisted of kids screaming and throwing tantrums. One of them managed to give me a black eye with a shoe. Their mom pretended to be asleep so I'd have to deal with her kids for her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35760) - you deserved it (2096)
On 04/27/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by Satan'sChildren - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45874) - you deserved it (2632)
On 04/27/2013 at 4:23pm - health - by stuckwithafamilyofcunts (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)
Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43876) - you deserved it (3945)
On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was sent to group therapy. A girl spent twenty minutes telling us horrible details of having been raised incestuously. A side effect of my new medication is yawning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37792) - you deserved it (2814)
On 04/24/2013 at 2:23am - health - by fiercehawk (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41919) - you deserved it (2617)
On 04/22/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by shatMyself - United States
Today, I found out that I am allergic to one of the preservatives that they put in aloe. I found this out after I put some on a severe sunburn I have. Not only am I sunburned, but now I am severely itchy as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39444) - you deserved it (3211)
On 04/22/2013 at 2:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
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On 04/18/2013 at 5:02pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Bulgaria (Sofiya)
Friday 24 May 2013
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