Today, I was cleaning off my couch so my nephew could crash here for a few nights. It's been so long since we've sat on it that it is now inhabited by rats we didn't know were in the house, including newly born ones. FML

by inthesticks / 11/19/2016 at 1:21am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, despite feeling healthier than ever, losing fat, gaining muscle and having perfect blood results, my morbidly obese relatives keep telling me that my new vegan diet is "unhealthy". FML

by ribx / 11/17/2016 at 6:24am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Health

Today, I found out that the insurance that my husband signed us up with for next year doesn't cover any of our doctors. Now we need to find 4 different doctors who take our insurance. FML

by emisara93 / 11/14/2016 at 7:38pm / United States / Health

Today, my boyfriend sent me an article about how smelling farts can reduce dementia then added, "You're welcome." FML

by anon / 11/09/2016 at 3:54pm / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, I hit the gym. With my car. FML

by SnapeIsGood / 11/08/2016 at 4:44am / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Health

Today, I have been vomiting for 4 days. Tomorrow, my landlord is insisting on inspecting my flat. I now either have to clean my house whilst trying not to throw up all around it, or fail my inspection. FML

by Homeless? / 11/07/2016 at 6:07am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Health

Today, I got severe diarrhea while out dancing with friends. On my way home, I got hit with the urge again. I couldn't find an open toilet and I had to resort to relieving myself in an alley. FML

by Redhairchick / 11/06/2016 at 2:08am / Health

Today, I went hiking in China. I knew I was unfit, I didn't know I was "being overtaken by an old lady leading a donkey" unfit. FML

by Earl_KarmasBitch / 11/05/2016 at 9:02am / China (Yunnan) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while sitting down on the dentist's chair, the tooth to be removed came out on its own. I still had to pay $50 for the cotton and advice. FML

by dukemisery / 11/05/2016 at 4:53am / Hong Kong / Health

Today, I felt so self-conscious about my gut, I pushed it out and pretended I was pregnant rather than sucking it in. FML

by bloated / 11/03/2016 at 10:46pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I was diagnosed with chronic vomiting. I've gone to 7 doctors and tried 13 different medicines, with none of them working. I've gone to therapy and taken up yoga with no change. So apparently, throwing up daily at random times is the new normal for me. Yay. FML

by leadwriteafw / 11/03/2016 at 2:35pm / United States (Texas) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I needed to cut something open so I asked my roommate to toss me my pocket knife from the counter. Apparently, he heard, "Open the knife then toss me it." FML

by timetraveler1854 / 11/02/2016 at 8:55pm / United States (New York) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after $87, waiting five months and making sure everything was perfect, I was ready to go see my favorite comedian live. I got the flu. FML

by throwinguptears / 11/02/2016 at 10:30am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health