Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I woke up with a swollen lump on my throat. It's extremely painful. My dad named it Gretchen and now talks about it as if it's a person. FML

#21311698
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28088) - you deserved it (2413)

On 12/04/2014 at 10:29pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I injured my knee during dance class. When it started to feel a little bit better, I tried dancing again. I tripped, fell, and broke my wrist. FML

#21311641
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28305) - you deserved it (5543)

On 12/04/2014 at 8:54pm - health - by dumb dancer - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realised I was far too attached to my duvet. Literally. I just got a large tattoo on my back, and my duvet somehow stuck to my skin during the night and formed part of the scab. I now have the joy of deciding whether to tear it off fast or peel it away slowly. FML

#21306764
65 comments

Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML

#21304063
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30073) - you deserved it (4941)

On 11/22/2014 at 7:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went to the doctor's with my pregnant sister, only to find out she still weighs less than me. FML

#21303583
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28705) - you deserved it (7279)

On 11/21/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by alli67 -

Today, I slipped on a wet floor at the supermarket and busted my nose. It wouldn't be as embarrassing if I hadn't missed the "CAUTION: WET FLOOR" sign that I'd put there myself just 30 minutes earlier. FML

#21302796
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27767) - you deserved it (8247)

On 11/20/2014 at 3:45pm - health - by fark (woman) - Ireland

Today, I realized that I ran out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML

#21302617
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28330) - you deserved it (6327)

On 11/20/2014 at 6:32am - health - by LemonTree (man) - Hungary

Today, it was the fourth time I've had major dental work done, because my dentist messed up my root canal. After almost a dozen needles, three missed work days, over $1,000, and 2 broken tools, I only have a tiny, barely-successful filling to show for it. FML

#21301373
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31505) - you deserved it (3045)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:45pm - health - by hatemydentist - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned how birds feel when they fly into windows. I should be getting the hospital bill for my broken nose in the mail soon. FML

#21300014
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22768) - you deserved it (3568)

On 11/16/2014 at 3:35am - health - by FlyLikeABird - United States (California)

Today, I realized that at 20 years old I already have noticeable wrinkles around my eyes. But to balance it out, my chronic acne keeps me looking youthful. FML

#21299204
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28875) - you deserved it (2343)

On 11/14/2014 at 9:18pm - health - by Unlucky (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I get to add spaghetti sauce to my rather extensive list of things that don't belong in a person's eye but that end up in mine anyway. Other items include molten cheese, rock salt, orange juice, chips of nail polish, cotton fibers, and firework ash. FML

#21299049
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28693) - you deserved it (4678)

On 11/14/2014 at 4:58pm - health - by gspotter (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was speeding home, bursting to take a crap. I pulled into my driveway and made it inside, before my wife told me the plumber was still working on our pipes. I ended up having to take a crap in my own backyard, behind a tree. FML

#21298320
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32769) - you deserved it (3103)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML

#21297627
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31197) - you deserved it (8949)

On 11/12/2014 at 11:00am - health - by juggalomurderer59 (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: