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Man or woman?

Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

#857
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17936) - you deserved it (3201)

On 01/08/2009 at 6:21am - health - by depraved - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I have dark hairs growing on my chest, nipples and stomach... I'm a 19 year old girl. FML

#841
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26538) - you deserved it (2451)

On 01/02/2009 at 1:06pm - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. On new years, my mom called and asked what kind of champagne I want. FML

#771
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21065) - you deserved it (2821)

On 01/01/2009 at 10:38am - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, my two favorite things in the world are Pizza and Beer... I now discover I have Celiac and can't have either. FML

#760
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21085) - you deserved it (2486)

On 12/30/2008 at 5:41am - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tested a new drug designed to fight headaches. It had quite an effect on me, more specifically side effects: nausea, dizzyness and diarrhea. FML

#579
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12682) - you deserved it (3637)

On 12/23/2008 at 3:57am - health - by blabla - Sent from mobile version

Today, in front of a hospital, I noticed that an old lady was having trouble lighting her cigarette because she had Parkison's. So I went to help her to light it up and she then started chatting with me and told me she had lung cancer. FML

#440
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22198) - you deserved it (5848)

On 12/03/2008 at 1:11am - health - by Anto - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent the night in hospital. As soon as I was alone, I writhed and twisted in all directions in my attempts to pee in a bottle left precisely for that purpose. It was at that moment that the doctor, a good-looking guy, came in. My legs were spread wide and I was right in the middle of doing my business. FML

#338
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25525) - you deserved it (2504)

On 11/19/2008 at 12:59am - health - by la poisse - Sent from mobile version

Today, I drank a beer that I thought was mine, it wasn't and someone had put out their cigarette in it. FML

#757
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17483) - you deserved it (7492)

On 11/15/2008 at 10:36pm - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I scratched my cornea and have to wear a large bandage covering my eye. I'm off today, but I'll probably have to wear it to school tomorrow. FML

#756
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18478) - you deserved it (4723)

On 11/12/2008 at 10:01pm - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm 20 and I'm going bald. FML

#277
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42699) - you deserved it (2954)

On 11/11/2008 at 3:32am - health - by Blazouta - Sent from mobile version

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

#258
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19798) - you deserved it (11106)

On 11/09/2008 at 4:18am - health - by Noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, my wisdom teeth decided to come in. I didn't know that being wise could hurt so much. FML

#234
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25019) - you deserved it (8160)

On 11/06/2008 at 8:39am - health - by little tooth - Sent from mobile version

Today, they finally took my braces off. 7 hours later I fell off my bike and chipped my tooth. FML

#138
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48915) - you deserved it (5503)

On 10/29/2008 at 6:09am - health - by Noname - Slovenia (Bohinj)



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