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Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML

#1459
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5510) - you deserved it (34881)

On 01/17/2009 at 1:41pm - health - by zaneey - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML

#1305
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30934) - you deserved it (5696)

On 01/15/2009 at 8:25pm - health - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)

Today, wanting to change from the usual pizza/coca cola menu, I decide to cook. After spending 1h30 making a "beef chili with ancho, mole, and cumin" I sprinkle a bit of salt on top of it. The top came off the salt. I think it's back to pizzas for me. FML

#1229
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18595) - you deserved it (3087)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:00am - health - by j0j0 - France (Aquitaine)

Today, after taking a shower, I decided to weigh myself. Curious, I peered down. I couldn't see the scale. I am fat. FML

#1198
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11393) - you deserved it (18697)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:43am - health - by Mr. Shawzy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a woman at the crowded mall stopped me and told me loudly that if I bought her product it would get rid of my acne. FML

#974
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19016) - you deserved it (1837)

On 01/11/2009 at 3:59pm - health - by EpicFail - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

#857
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20900) - you deserved it (3668)

On 01/08/2009 at 6:21am - health - by depraved - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I have dark hairs growing on my chest, nipples and stomach... I'm a 19 year old girl. FML

#841
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30005) - you deserved it (2808)

On 01/02/2009 at 1:06pm - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. On new years, my mom called and asked what kind of champagne I want. FML

#771
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22091) - you deserved it (2949)

On 01/01/2009 at 10:38am - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, my two favorite things in the world are Pizza and Beer... I now discover I have Celiac and can't have either. FML

#760
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22583) - you deserved it (2659)

On 12/30/2008 at 5:41am - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tested a new drug designed to fight headaches. It had quite an effect on me, more specifically side effects: nausea, dizzyness and diarrhea. FML

#579
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16591) - you deserved it (4112)

On 12/23/2008 at 3:57am - health - by blabla - Sent from mobile version

Today, in front of a hospital, I noticed that an old lady was having trouble lighting her cigarette because she had Parkison's. So I went to help her to light it up and she then started chatting with me and told me she had lung cancer. FML

#440
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22467) - you deserved it (5886)

On 12/03/2008 at 1:11am - health - by Anto - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent the night in hospital. As soon as I was alone, I writhed and twisted in all directions in my attempts to pee in a bottle left precisely for that purpose. It was at that moment that the doctor, a good-looking guy, came in. My legs were spread wide and I was right in the middle of doing my business. FML

#338
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28570) - you deserved it (2836)

On 11/19/2008 at 12:59am - health - by la poisse - Sent from mobile version

Today, I drank a beer that I thought was mine, it wasn't and someone had put out their cigarette in it. FML

#757
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21966) - you deserved it (9928)

On 11/15/2008 at 10:36pm - health - by - Sent from mobile version



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