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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I went to boxing and this hot chick asked me if I was wearing a sports cup. I replied yes, when I wasn't. I thought she was going to check with her hand and feel. She checked with her knee. FML

#11442644
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9452) - you deserved it (68503)

On 06/25/2010 at 1:09am - health - by Gbeat411 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19984) - you deserved it (60846)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, I had to buy a wrist brace for a repetitive strain injury. I got the injury because I was knitting too much. I'm 22. FML

#11365863
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19757) - you deserved it (25826)

On 06/21/2010 at 9:28pm - health - by GrannyAt22 (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML

#11322556
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20737) - you deserved it (31071)

On 06/20/2010 at 12:11am - health - by LoveYouTooMa (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a close friend pointed out to me how ironic it is that I make the Sim version of myself work out to lose weight, while I sit on my fat ass playing video games. FML

#11318182
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10808) - you deserved it (51786)

On 06/19/2010 at 8:40pm - health - by Grace (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML

#11281809
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12734) - you deserved it (55091)

On 06/18/2010 at 1:42am - health - by emilygreeny - United States

Today, after weeks of looking forward to my birthday trip to the beach, I've come down with a serious case of the flu. My family is still going without me, but at least now they don't have to pay someone to watch the dog. Happy birthday to me. FML

#11246854
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34195) - you deserved it (2615)

On 06/16/2010 at 7:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, we had guests coming over. My dad wanted me to make some bacon, but I refused because I'm a vegetarian, and don't like to touch meat. His response? 'Good joke honey, now make the bacon.' FML

#11238681
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34335) - you deserved it (18313)

On 06/16/2010 at 10:42am - health - by Joy (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)

Today, I finally weighed myself after going on a strict diet of only fruits, vegetables, and coffee. I gained weight. FML

#11218356
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29634) - you deserved it (21634)

On 06/15/2010 at 3:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my husband purposefully said something to upset me. When I asked why he would do that, he told me it was to test my Prozac. FML

#11189132
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30042) - you deserved it (4082)

On 06/14/2010 at 9:50am - health - by greenblue90 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to lick the excess peanut butter off the knife after making a PB and J. Turns out the knife can and will cut your tongue, even though you don't think it will. FML

#11151626
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11103) - you deserved it (60563)

On 06/12/2010 at 6:13pm - health - by bobby - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my kitten decided that having diarrhea was not a good enough reason to stop running in circles around my living room. FML

#11123342
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36722) - you deserved it (3975)

On 06/11/2010 at 10:33am - health - by MegahnDN - United States



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