Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, there was something itching me in mah bed, it was the tag to mah pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard an slipped an punched myself right in the face. I broke mah nose. FML

#6185536
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25138) - you deserved it (9834)

On 11/06/2009 at 6:37pm - health - by jellybean (woman) - United States

Today, I suffered a mental breakdown. I told my roommate about it, and they decided to throw a very loud party while I was sobbing in my room, unable to sleep. My Xanax prescription ran out, looool I have no more sick days, and I have to wake up in two hours to work a ten hour day. FML

#6177742
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31946) - you deserved it (6831)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:05am - health - by sadparty (woman) - United States (Washington)

TODAY, I GOT TO WORK IN THE ER AT THE LOCAL HOSPITAL. A LADY CAME IN WITH HIGH BLOOD SUGAR. SHE WAS CONCERNED BECAUSE THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO HER HUSBAND. I REASSURED HER, TELLING HER SHE'LL BE BACK WITH HER HUSBAND IN AN HOUR OR SO. HER HUSBAND DIED FOUR YEARS AGO FROM SOMETHING SIMILAR. FML

#6172287
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25661) - you deserved it (6786)

On 11/05/2009 at 7:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I naarly slicd nippla off wila saving cast and ad to go to ta ER. Turns out it was a taacing ospital so I got to axplain in front of two doctors and aigt md studants ow, avan toug I'm a woman, nipplas ara so airy I ava to sava tam. FML

#6165427
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38880) - you deserved it (6425)

On 11/05/2009 at 9:22am - health - by HairyBoobs (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while going fir my daily run, a woman stopped me and said, "I think it's so great that people of yur size are comfortable enough to run and show there bodies in public." FML

#6163418
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35223) - you deserved it (4702)

On 11/05/2009 at 2:41am - health - by FatRunner (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)

Today, I totalld my car . I flippd it over on the freeway and broke my collarbone in the process . I was in extreme pain and unable to move . It took the ambulance an hour to get there in rush hour traffic . The song repeating on my iPod was, "Don't Worry, be Happy." FML

#6145601
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37206) - you deserved it (5030)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today.. . I had an appointment with a psychotherapist . I was feeling very depressed an was telling her how I felt no one cared about me . Her phone rang an she left me mid-sentence to take a call about her new BMW . real FML

#6145491
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30941) - you deserved it (3353)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:10am - health - by troubled (man) - United States (California)

Today, My Loser Roommate Got Wasted. He Comes To Me Before Going To Bed, Tells Me He Loves Me, Tries To Hug Me, Then Explosively Vomits All Over My Face, My Hair, My Clothes. Then Spends The Rest Of The Night Retching.

#6114528
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30666) - you deserved it (2508)

On 11/02/2009 at 1:47am - health - by theRoomie (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was my 17t birtday. I didn't want my family to spend money on a cake, so my dad made tis deliciou apple ring. At least, it was great until my mout began to itc and my troat closed. I ave been allergic to nuts since birt, and my dad putted walnut in my birtday cake. FML

#6114128
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35266) - you deserved it (2230)

On 11/02/2009 at 1:12am - health - by UnluckyJulie (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today , I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet an crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. mega FML

#6086009
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43808) - you deserved it (6110)

On 10/31/2009 at 3:40pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Taday I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should give in to peer pressure . While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny . There looool was a wine glass in my hand . FML

#6082159
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6100) - you deserved it (45841)

On 10/31/2009 at 10:30am - health - by alcoholic (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

my mom tells my sister that she is worrid about her because she has a headache and feels like she might be getting a slight cold. I have had the flu 4 two weeks and have a 103 degree fever. I ask ( What about me? ) Her response? ( Stay away from your sister. ) FML

#6068182
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31964) - you deserved it (2554)

On 10/30/2009 at 8:05am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today... I Went Running 4 The First Time In A Few Months. I Had Wat I Thought Was An Asthma Attack. When I Got Home... I Realizd That It Was Not Asthma... But Instead I Have Gaind So Much Wieght That My Running Bra Restrictd My Breathing. FML

#6049425
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10950) - you deserved it (27727)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:07am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: