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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went out for a few drinks with some friends. All night, I kept smiling and showing off my newly brace-free teeth. Later on, one of my friends drunkly asked, "Why does she keep smiling? Her teeth are fucking jacked." FML

#20122439
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15231) - you deserved it (1638)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:26pm - health - by murp (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML

#20119594
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20942) - you deserved it (997)

On 10/16/2012 at 1:25pm - health - by hurtinrealbad - United States (Arizona)

Today, I fell down the stairs. Lying on my back in extreme pain, I called my mom for help. When she came over, she said I looked like a dead bug, took a picture and posted it on Facebook. FML

#20118333
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16434) - you deserved it (1327)

On 10/15/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Bug (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to pick my parents up from the hospital and drive them back home, after they were treated for eating large amounts of cheese that my dad claimed to have "aged" for several years. FML

#20116789
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12526) - you deserved it (826)

On 10/14/2012 at 4:36pm - health - by oppafucktardstyle (man) - United States (New York)

Today, just for old time's sake, I decided to jump on my bed. I ended up hitting my head on the spinning fan and knocking myself unconscious. FML

#20114543
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7874) - you deserved it (25993)

On 10/13/2012 at 2:45am - health - by lalalalainie - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML

#20113299
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18241) - you deserved it (5157)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:11am - health - by monkeyzz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to be treated for chemical burns, because my mother got the bright idea of using paint thinner to clean me up after I'd painted our living room. FML

#20112154
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14832) - you deserved it (2099)

On 10/11/2012 at 3:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my right ear drum ruptured. My family doesn't understand that I only lost hearing in one ear and continues to talk about me behind my back, thinking I can't hear them. FML

#20106279
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15854) - you deserved it (795)

On 10/07/2012 at 7:39pm - health - by lbelle - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I left the hospital after having knee surgery. While trying to find my balance on my crutches, I was holding onto the roof of the car. My mum slammed the car door shut, not noticing my hand. I can barely even bend my fingers to hold onto my crutches. FML

#20105201
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17253) - you deserved it (893)

On 10/07/2012 at 1:43am - health - by badluckbrianna (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my four roommates and I contracted lice. While all our heads were slathered in mayonnaise and saran wrap, our building's fire alarm went off. FML

#20103879
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15748) - you deserved it (2062)

On 10/06/2012 at 3:28am - health - by EastOneTen - United States

Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML

#20103865
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14820) - you deserved it (875)

On 10/06/2012 at 3:12am - health - by monkers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, two days after leaving hospital with a broken left leg, I tripped and fell heavily on the floor. My dad quickly asked if I'd broken my other leg. When I reassured him that I hadn't, he disappointedly muttered that it would've been a hilarious story to tell his friends at work. FML

#20103320
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14847) - you deserved it (1275)

On 10/05/2012 at 7:38pm - health - by fucking har har, dad (woman) - Australia

Today, I have a massive headache, thanks to my asshat of a roommate, who decided to balance our tea kettle on the top of the kitchen door. When I stumbled into the kitchen, half-awake, it came smashing down onto my head. FML

#20103084
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13679) - you deserved it (1092)

On 10/05/2012 at 4:25pm - health - by sharky (man) - United States



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