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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Yesterday , I found out ma diet and exercise plan wasn't nerely as effective wen it comes to weigt loss as I ad originally tougt!! It turns out wat really accounts 4 all te weigt I've been loosing is tape worms!! FML

#6630317
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31331) - you deserved it (2830)

On 12/06/2009 at 4:16am - health - by wormsick (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I opened up a can of tomato soup I'd taken from ma parents' ouse recently. After eating te wole can, I started feeling a little off, so I cecked te expration date. It expred 12 years ago. FML

#6624561
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13796) - you deserved it (33079)

On 12/05/2009 at 10:37pm - health - by soupduped (woman) - United States (Washington)

2day I started growing hair on mah upper lip. I'm finally becoming a man! Too bad I'm a 17 year old girl. FML

#6594462
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37178) - you deserved it (4633)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:55am - health - by harry (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I askd ma mom if se could include masd potatoes an gravy wit dinner. Se ten went on to yell at me about ma "unealty eating abits" an ow I've "gaind a lot of weigt in te past few monts". I'm pregnant. FML

#6587756
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31011) - you deserved it (3691)

On 12/03/2009 at 7:02pm - health - by preggo (woman) - United States

Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long nasty toes nails in the leghile he slept. It took 3 stitches to fix it up, my husband an doctor laughed the entire time. He still refuses to cut them.

#6578474
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37267) - you deserved it (3456)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:59am - health - by ewww (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut mah head . I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested fir head trauma . After hours of ignoring mah calls and texts, mah grlfriend finally responded, very angrily . Why? Today is her brthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML

#6565317
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37756) - you deserved it (3790)

On 12/02/2009 at 6:36am - health - by michelle91 (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today , I heard mah cat climbing on the counters in the kitchen. To prevent a tremendous avalanche of dishes , I picked up the cat and put it outside. She got scared from the blinds and scurried away leaving deep scratches across mah nipple. I wasn't wearing a shirt. fat FML

#6546793
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19654) - you deserved it (14919)

On 12/01/2009 at 2:05am - health - by ihatecats - United States

Today , mah mom sat on a pencil and started bleeding. She then made me clean the wound on her butt and putted ointment on it. mega FML

#6522437
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31519) - you deserved it (4327)

On 11/29/2009 at 9:39pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Yesterday , it's decided , I'm going on diet. For real. But I said that yesterday. And the day before. FML

#6510175
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8502) - you deserved it (51672)

On 11/29/2009 at 8:02am - health - by Numnum (woman) - United Kingdom (Greater London)

Today, I am lying next to my new husband. We went to Hawaii fir our honeymoon and planned looool on spending the entre time in bed together. We succeeded in that goal, with both of us unable to leave each other's side fir entre week. Sex? No. Food poisoning? Yes. FML

#6497491
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39423) - you deserved it (2874)

On 11/28/2009 at 5:03pm - health - by IndieRox (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand 4 a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML

#6480683
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8632) - you deserved it (43275)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I felt dizzy and ligt-eaded. So I sat down at te top of stairs calling brotero was downstairs, for elp because I was scared someting was wrong wit me. He called back "No, I'm eating." I fainted. Wen I woke up, I was still alone upstairs and e was still eating downstairs. FML

#6436663
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28539) - you deserved it (3117)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:07pm - health - by Foodcomesfirst (woman) - United Kingdom

Taday I lerened explosive diarrhea is real !! I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket !! 10 feet in.!! !! liquid poo started spewing down mah pants legs !! 150 feet to go !! I ran !! It ran !! They watched !! After 15 minutes of cleaning.!! !! I slunk out !! Now.!! !! I have to fine a new market.!! !! maybe a new town !! FML

#6433881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38966) - you deserved it (2964)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)



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