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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

#5150638
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37118) - you deserved it (4045)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I applied for a passport. I was told the first set of photos I took were unusable because my face, particularly my chin, didn't fit inside the designated area for your face in the picture. My chin did fit in the frame, my double chin however, did not. FML

#5146235
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15399) - you deserved it (39698)

On 09/09/2009 at 9:37am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with my mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in my mouth. FML

#5128135
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41918) - you deserved it (7379)

On 09/08/2009 at 3:02pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I woke up, took a shower, made some pasta, drank 3 glasses of water and brushed my teeth. I then left my apartment to see signs posted all over warning us not to use the water without boiling it because the water company just found E-coli in the water. FML

#5126886
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50172) - you deserved it (3708)

On 09/08/2009 at 1:29pm - health - by UhOhhhh (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or Genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML

#5082348
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59179) - you deserved it (8782)

On 09/06/2009 at 2:19pm - health - by Curt (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my friend got drunk. We tried to get him into a cab, he punched me in the face, three chavs then accosted me, accusing me of trying to mug him. I was then beaten up by said chavs and then the police charged me for being drunk and disorderly. FML

#5072563
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39328) - you deserved it (3000)

On 09/06/2009 at 12:03am - health - by DrunkenValor (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, my dentist asked me about my fillings, so I told him that when I was younger, I had 2 cavities. He replied, "No you didn't. I just looked at your x-rays." Turns out my old dentist ripped me off. I never needed fillings. FML

#5061381
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42216) - you deserved it (2117)

On 09/05/2009 at 2:16pm - health - by itsjustnotfair (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

#5021908
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14906) - you deserved it (64633)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm - health - by keeperstride (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mum hit me with her car as she was backing out of the drive way, hurting my leg and crushing my bike. For the third time this year. FML

#4994613
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47247) - you deserved it (9272)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:45am - health - by broken (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my best friend thought it would be funny push me off my bike. He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally dropped me. FML

#4983911
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43206) - you deserved it (2623)

On 09/01/2009 at 8:04pm - health - by Misterhippo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML

#4970470
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39229) - you deserved it (14598)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:30am - health - by pussyOUT (man) - United States

Today, I decided to ride my rusty old bike to work, since it will help the environment. I was standing up and had a tight grip on the handle bars. The handle bars came off and I fell down on the cross bar, busting my nuts. FML

#4967329
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37970) - you deserved it (9149)

On 09/01/2009 at 12:03am - health - by David (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML

#4923649
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15919) - you deserved it (56440)

On 08/30/2009 at 3:12am - health - by tomchuq (man) - United States (Alabama)



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