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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap while I waited for my pregnacy test result in the Target bathroom. FML

#6732796
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23168) - you deserved it (21841)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:26am - health - by teeeessst (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my furnace and all of my heating systems broke down. A fridge is 3 degrees Celsius; it is now 2 degrees Celsius in my house. I would be warmer in my fridge. FML

#6721732
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31804) - you deserved it (1970)

On 12/12/2009 at 11:55am - health - by FrozenD - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having lunch with my mom before an important job interview. She commented than my lips looked dry and crackly and gave me her chapstick with aloe to put on. Apparently I'm allergic to aloe and my lips got so swollen I could hardly talk. It was too late to reschedule the interview. FML

#6719258
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23788) - you deserved it (2038)

On 12/12/2009 at 4:28am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was preparing for a huge party I've been looking forward to for months. I did all the usual things a girl should do, put on a facemask, painted my nails, exfoliated... I was feeling confident until I peeled off the facemask. I guess when it said "vibrant" what it meant was bright red. FML

#6705319
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21066) - you deserved it (7673)

On 12/11/2009 at 2:50am - health - by ouch (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML

#6683898
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8624) - you deserved it (36518)

On 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating a bag of almonds I got from the bulk food store, picking off what I thought was stringy remnants of their shells. When I finally got down to the bottom of the bag, I found a silk worm circling around the last almond left of a bag of about 200. FML

#6674609
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30946) - you deserved it (5505)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:25am - health - by somechick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I slipped on the new snow and sprained my ankle. As my mom and I were leaving the emergency room, she says, "You owe me $4 for parking," and she meant it. FML

#6663134
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27945) - you deserved it (3595)

On 12/08/2009 at 10:19am - health - by redcherries90 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML

#6660258
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11447) - you deserved it (21683)

On 12/08/2009 at 1:53am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I took a hot plate out of the oven with my fancy silicone oven mitt. Seconds after carefully placing it on the cook top, I picked it up with my left, unprotected hand. FML

#6652180
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6637) - you deserved it (30867)

On 12/07/2009 at 6:08pm - health - by Van (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I sneezed while brushing my teeth and ended up with toothpaste in my eye. I haven't been able to see for two hours. FML

#6631791
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28876) - you deserved it (3646)

On 12/06/2009 at 9:03am - health - by lol (woman) - United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire)

Today, I found out my diet and exercise plan wasn't nearly as effective when it comes to weight loss as I had originally thought. It turns out what really accounts for all the weight I've been losing is tape worms. FML

#6630317
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32949) - you deserved it (2830)

On 12/06/2009 at 4:16am - health - by wormsick (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I opened up a can of tomato soup I'd taken from my parents' house recently. After eating the whole can, I started feeling a little off, so I checked the expiration date. It expired 12 years ago. FML

#6624561
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13808) - you deserved it (33071)

On 12/05/2009 at 10:37pm - health - by soupduped (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I started growing hair on my upper lip. I'm finally becoming a man! Too bad I'm a 17 year old girl. FML

#6594462
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37166) - you deserved it (4633)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:55am - health - by harry (woman) - Hong Kong



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