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Today, I was trying to sneak up my husband while he was playing a computer game. As I was getting behind the chair, he paused the game and sat up straight. I stopped. He turned around and sneezed violently and blew a bunch of snot into my face and eyes. FML

#5477011
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27385) - you deserved it (17237)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:47pm - health - by snottyface (woman) - United States

Today, I pulled a bee off of my friend's dog because we were worried he could be allergic. Of course I got stung, and of course the dog wasn't allergic. Turns out I am. FML

#5463799
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34932) - you deserved it (4860)

On 09/25/2009 at 9:09am - health - by boomstick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to start making healthier decisions. Instead of the usual cheeseburger I have for lunch I ate an apple instead. I took one bite and broke one of my teeth. Apparently, apples keep the doctor away, but not dentists. FML

#5462449
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31478) - you deserved it (6683)

On 09/25/2009 at 4:43am - health - by SterlingEnigma (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML

#5407765
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13670) - you deserved it (47233)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:37am - health - by Cpt_Concerned (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I wasn't feeling too good, and took my temperature. I had a fever, which I told my boyfriend who was laughing hysterically when I told him. I asked him what was so funny, turns out he's been using the thermometer to take our dog's temperature sometimes. Rectally, of course. FML

#5332273
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37788) - you deserved it (5023)

On 09/18/2009 at 1:48pm - health - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my professor informed me that if I didn't "show more commitment" to my choral ensemble he would give my spot to a "more interested young woman." I missed class to see my neurologist. Apparently my seizures are a symptom of lack of commitment. FML

#5312415
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33495) - you deserved it (2347)

On 09/17/2009 at 1:32pm - health - by OutOfLuck (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. Apparently the medicines don't work on me. I woke up in the middle of the surgery and felt EVERYTHING. One of the nurses asked if I was okay, and the doctor just kept saying "Don't worry she's just dreaming", while tears were pouring down my face. FML

#5310529
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52286) - you deserved it (2237)

On 09/17/2009 at 10:31am - health - by NoPainNoGain (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my period. 10 minutes into a 3 hour exam. Apparently they are serious when they say you may not leave the room under any circumstances. FML

#5310287
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53648) - you deserved it (3546)

On 09/17/2009 at 9:59am - health - by cramps (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to the orthodontist to have my braces worked on. I accidentally swallowed some of the cleaning solution she used. She told me it would probably give me an upset stomach. Apparently, an upset stomach and crapping your pants means the same thing to an orthodontist. FML

#5306456
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34072) - you deserved it (3741)

On 09/17/2009 at 1:10am - health - by navyma - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I saw a weight loss 'before and after' advertisement and I wished I could at least look like the 'before'. FML

#5301983
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33783) - you deserved it (21876)

On 09/16/2009 at 9:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to drink the most vile and disgusting medicinal treatments I could ever imagine. Then I had to drink it again when I threw up the first batch. FML

Today, I am still coughing. I was diagnosed with whooping cough last week, which apparently cannot be treated. Basically, it appears I'm a 19th century English peasant. FML

#5286391
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35609) - you deserved it (3943)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:33am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my Marine friend got back from his tour of duty overseas. We went out for drinks to celebrate his return. His own form of celebration was to pick a fight with a returning Navy SEAL and his friends. We lost. Badly. FML

#5222087
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29333) - you deserved it (12816)

On 09/13/2009 at 2:17am - health - by beaten (man) - United States (Idaho)



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