Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my professor informed me that if I didn't "show more commitment" to my choral ensemble he would give my spot to a "more interested young woman." I missed class to see my neurologist. Apparently my seizures are a symptom of lack of commitment. FML

#5312415
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33453) - you deserved it (2345)

On 09/17/2009 at 1:32pm - health - by OutOfLuck (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. Apparently the medicines don't work on me. I woke up in the middle of the surgery and felt EVERYTHING. One of the nurses asked if I was okay, and the doctor just kept saying "Don't worry she's just dreaming", while tears were pouring down my face. FML

#5310529
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52246) - you deserved it (2234)

On 09/17/2009 at 10:31am - health - by NoPainNoGain (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my period. 10 minutes into a 3 hour exam. Apparently they are serious when they say you may not leave the room under any circumstances. FML

#5310287
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52952) - you deserved it (3493)

On 09/17/2009 at 9:59am - health - by cramps (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to the orthodontist to have my braces worked on. I accidentally swallowed some of the cleaning solution she used. She told me it would probably give me an upset stomach. Apparently, an upset stomach and crapping your pants means the same thing to an orthodontist. FML

#5306456
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34034) - you deserved it (3736)

On 09/17/2009 at 1:10am - health - by navyma - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I saw a weight loss 'before and after' advertisement and I wished I could at least look like the 'before'. FML

#5301983
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33743) - you deserved it (21862)

On 09/16/2009 at 9:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to drink the most vile and disgusting medicinal treatments I could ever imagine. Then I had to drink it again when I threw up the first batch. FML

Today, I am still coughing. I was diagnosed with whooping cough last week, which apparently cannot be treated. Basically, it appears I'm a 19th century English peasant. FML

#5286391
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35570) - you deserved it (3937)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:33am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my Marine friend got back from his tour of duty overseas. We went out for drinks to celebrate his return. His own form of celebration was to pick a fight with a returning Navy SEAL and his friends. We lost. Badly. FML

#5222087
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29280) - you deserved it (12813)

On 09/13/2009 at 2:17am - health - by beaten (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

#5150638
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37074) - you deserved it (4042)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I applied for a passport. I was told the first set of photos I took were unusable because my face, particularly my chin, didn't fit inside the designated area for your face in the picture. My chin did fit in the frame, my double chin however, did not. FML

#5146235
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15377) - you deserved it (39670)

On 09/09/2009 at 9:37am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with my mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in my mouth. FML

#5128135
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41887) - you deserved it (7375)

On 09/08/2009 at 3:02pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I woke up, took a shower, made some pasta, drank 3 glasses of water and brushed my teeth. I then left my apartment to see signs posted all over warning us not to use the water without boiling it because the water company just found E-coli in the water. FML

#5126886
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50118) - you deserved it (3704)

On 09/08/2009 at 1:29pm - health - by UhOhhhh (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or Genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML

#5082348
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59128) - you deserved it (8773)

On 09/06/2009 at 2:19pm - health - by Curt (man) - United States (Missouri)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: