Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was walking through the mall with my husband. We came across a guy who was selling some weight loss pills. He tried to sell me some and I kindly declined. He told me not to deny my weight problems. Thanks. I'm 7 months pregnant. FML

#8859740
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25951) - you deserved it (2346)

On 03/06/2010 at 12:16am - health - by KateD - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

#8851700
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25298) - you deserved it (2628)

On 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by artsmart1 - United States

Today, my grandma's cat peed on my full leg cast. The closest doctor was a three hour drive away. So my grandma wouldn't take me at all the whole weekend. FML

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

#8823519
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24891) - you deserved it (2529)

On 03/04/2010 at 1:52pm - health - by GoDiarrhea (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I went to the pharmacy and asked the very attractive pharmacist what to do about the terrible itching under my cast. She told me to be a man and deal with it. FML

#8797696
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21564) - you deserved it (7266)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:46am - health - by brokenarm (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

#8797519
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6034) - you deserved it (21137)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:34am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my throat is really swollen so I can only drink liquid. I noticed home-made ice-lollies in the freezer and had one. It tasted funny. Turns out my little brother had peed in one of those ice-lolly box and put it in the freezer. FML

Today, my husband admitted to me that he has a mental block about touching my boobs, because he's afraid that breast milk is going to spurt out at him. I had my son 5 months ago and I don't breast feed. FML

#8781188
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22154) - you deserved it (3731)

On 03/02/2010 at 8:03pm - health - by sunny_ca559 - United States

Today, while shopping with my mother, she handed me a frozen turkey to put in the cart, but ended up swinging it into my nuts instead. I feel like a giant battered eggplant, and I think I'm now impotent. FML

#8774277
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19951) - you deserved it (2983)

On 03/02/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by beateneggs - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to explain to my 14-year-old sister why one must not wear the same pair of knickers for a week. FML

#8754431
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25677) - you deserved it (2048)

On 03/01/2010 at 7:14pm - health - by :( - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, I got excited because I found a chat line for teens who are dealing with depression. I signed up and was about to enter the chat room and then a message popped up that said ''Sorry this is only available for teens in the United Kingdom.'' FML

#8732304
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23455) - you deserved it (3907)

On 02/28/2010 at 10:16pm - health - by Hannah - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML

#8708585
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22778) - you deserved it (6494)

On 02/28/2010 at 1:31am - health - by annonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, after a particularly gruesome nightmare about spiders due to my irrational phobia, I decided to try and desensitise myself by googling 'house spiders'. I can't stop the feeling of something crawling over every inch of my body, but at least I now know they can live up to six years. FML

#8700237
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17989) - you deserved it (6411)

On 02/27/2010 at 9:03pm - health - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: