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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I discovered that I'm allergic to band-aids. I now have a band-aid shaped rash around a tiny cut on my leg. Oh the irony. FML

#10884107
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25442) - you deserved it (3601)

On 05/31/2010 at 11:43am - health - by twnty1 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to my orthodontist where I was informed that I'll going to the prom, to my brother's wedding, and maybe to university with braces in my mouth. FML

#10880596
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27352) - you deserved it (8870)

On 05/31/2010 at 5:15am - health - by FarisH (man) - Jordan (Amman Governorate)

Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a thermometer from my sister's bathroom. I later found out that I actually used my sister's rectal thermometer. At least I don't have a fever. FML

#10842466
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28558) - you deserved it (9105)

On 05/29/2010 at 2:20pm - health - by asstomouth - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

#10832830
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37151) - you deserved it (7955)

On 05/29/2010 at 12:14am - health - by fmlpanda (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was also the day I got insuppressible diarrhea. As I was running to the washroom, the phone rang. I didn't make it to the washroom or the phone. FML

#10832589
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26826) - you deserved it (3125)

On 05/29/2010 at 12:04am - health - by phonesnshit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went out to eat to celebrate getting over the stomach flu. I hadn't eaten solid food in over a week, so I was really excited and ordered my favorite dish. It gave me food poisoning. FML

#10827596
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35128) - you deserved it (4441)

On 05/28/2010 at 7:51pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out there is such a thing as eyebrow dandruff, and that I have it. FML

#10775711
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30542) - you deserved it (5519)

On 05/26/2010 at 11:54am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML

#10772340
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16735) - you deserved it (34644)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:17am - health - by kaylajere - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table. I reached up and caught it. It was a wasp, and it stung me. FML

#10752650
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14053) - you deserved it (32746)

On 05/25/2010 at 8:32am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out I have dandruff when a chick passed by and said out loud to her friends: "That dude's hair is having an early Xmas!" FML

#10733187
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25711) - you deserved it (6379)

On 05/24/2010 at 12:14pm - health - by Dandruff - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at dentist to get impressions made. The hygienist put way too much of the plaster stuff on the press. She put it in my mouth and asked if I was okay, I shook my head no and promptly vomited. It sat at the back of my throat and I could not spit it out until the plaster hardened. FML

#10705842
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37086) - you deserved it (2779)

On 05/23/2010 at 2:08am - health - by gpistas - United States

Today, I was using Veet instead of shaving, so that the razor wouldn't cut up my legs. I cut myself with the plastic utensil that you're supposed to use to remove the Veet. FML

#10683891
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15798) - you deserved it (23133)

On 05/22/2010 at 3:03am - health - by knickedleg - Sent from mobile version

Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML

#10678827
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11573) - you deserved it (38889)

On 05/21/2010 at 10:41pm - health - by guyshithappensto (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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