Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML

#6185536
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23810) - you deserved it (9553)

On 11/06/2009 at 6:37pm - health - by jellybean (woman) - United States

Today, I suffered a mental breakdown. I told my roommates about it, and they decided to throw a very loud party while I was sobbing in my room, unable to sleep. My Xanax prescription ran out, I have no more sick days, and I have to wake up in two hours to work a ten hour day. FML

#6177742
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31764) - you deserved it (6826)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:05am - health - by sadparty (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got to work in the ER at the local hospital. A lady came in with high blood sugar. She was concerned because the same thing happened to her husband. I reassured her, telling her she'll be back with her husband in an hour or so. Her husband died four years ago from something similar. FML

#6172287
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25506) - you deserved it (6775)

On 11/05/2009 at 7:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML

#6165427
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37737) - you deserved it (6282)

On 11/05/2009 at 9:22am - health - by HairyBoobs (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while going for my daily run, a woman stopped me and said, "I think it's so great that people of your size are comfortable enough to run and show their bodies in public." FML

#6163418
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35089) - you deserved it (4693)

On 11/05/2009 at 2:41am - health - by FatRunner (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)

Today, I totalled my car. I flipped it over on the freeway and broke my collarbone in the process. I was in extreme pain and unable to move. It took the ambulance an hour to get there in rush hour traffic. The song repeating on my iPod was, "Don't Worry, be Happy." FML

#6145601
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37025) - you deserved it (5011)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had an appointment with a psychotherapist. I was feeling very depressed and was telling her how I felt no one cared about me. Her phone rang and she left me mid-sentence to take a call about her new BMW. FML

#6145491
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29761) - you deserved it (3237)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:10am - health - by troubled (man) - United States (California)

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

#6114528
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29774) - you deserved it (2444)

On 11/02/2009 at 1:47am - health - by theRoomie (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was my 17th birthday. I didn't want my family to spend money on a cake, so my dad made this delicious apple ring. At least, it was great until my mouth began to itch and my throat closed. I have been allergic to nuts since birth, and my dad put walnuts in my birthday cake. FML

#6114128
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35110) - you deserved it (2224)

On 11/02/2009 at 1:12am - health - by UnluckyJulie (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

#6086009
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43117) - you deserved it (6028)

On 10/31/2009 at 3:40pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML

#6082159
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6063) - you deserved it (45728)

On 10/31/2009 at 10:30am - health - by alcoholic (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, my mom tells my sister that she is worried about her because she has a headache and feels like she might be getting a slight cold. I have had the flu for two weeks and have a 103 degree fever. I ask, "What about me?" Her response? "Stay away from your sister." FML

#6068182
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31106) - you deserved it (2484)

On 10/30/2009 at 8:05am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went running for the first time in a few months. I had what I thought was an asthma attack. When I got home, I realized that it was not asthma, but instead I have gained so much weight that my running bra restricted my breathing. FML

#6049425
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10875) - you deserved it (27640)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:07am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: