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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I waited for 20 minutes to get a cab outside grand central station in New York (it was raining). Finally, to my relief, I found a cab but when I got in I let a little fart slip. Two minutes later the cabby kicked me out of his cab because I stunk. FML

#6318323
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9085) - you deserved it (25839)

On 11/15/2009 at 10:00pm - health - by proteinboy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I wasn't feeling too well. I decided to bring my laptop with me to the bathroom, because I figured I would be in there for a while. Things were going great, until I felt a burp coming. Next thing I know, my computer is covered with puke. FML

#6311289
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9891) - you deserved it (34261)

On 11/15/2009 at 10:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I sent a get well card to my friend. it wasn't until after I got home from posting it did I realise that the stamps I put on the envelope had the phrase "Let's Get Active" on them with drawings of people playing sports. My friend is in a wheelchair. FML

#6303407
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23775) - you deserved it (10942)

On 11/14/2009 at 5:26pm - health - by Insensitive (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML

#6287129
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10362) - you deserved it (48010)

On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I realized that I hadn't shaved in so long that when the wind blew, the hairs on my legs moved in the breeze. FML

#6270063
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7557) - you deserved it (44569)

On 11/12/2009 at 6:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, for my birthday, my friends and family gave me: A Wii Fit, a free year at the gym and a book of diet recipes. They didn't consult with each other. I've asked for "something corresponding to me". FML

#6256305
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22867) - you deserved it (13726)

On 11/11/2009 at 11:03am - health - by Timetoloseweight (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work: I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML

#6237961
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5824) - you deserved it (47187)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:24am - health - by ID10t (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML

#6224198
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37060) - you deserved it (6015)

On 11/09/2009 at 2:55am - health - by vanessa_d15 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell down a set of stairs while going into my basement. With a horrible pain in my left leg, I called out to my boyfriend to help me. Apparently a commercial about grass was more important. FML

#6215205
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26241) - you deserved it (3360)

On 11/08/2009 at 5:38pm - health - by Elizabeh (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was at a petting zoo with my boyfriend. A guy that worked there said he'd take a picture of me with a mouse on my head. He reassured me that this mouse was trained. I agreed. Once the mouse got on my head, it peed. Turns out the guy didn't work there after all. FML

#6212555
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25317) - you deserved it (14052)

On 11/08/2009 at 2:14pm - health - by Poopyhead (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, after a trip to my doctor I found out that my recent mood swings and hot flashes are the result of a hormonal imbalance that mimics the effects of menopause. I'm a 17 year old guy. FML

#6200798
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35225) - you deserved it (2010)

On 11/07/2009 at 7:38pm - health - by oldlady (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML

#6192085
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31308) - you deserved it (4283)

On 11/07/2009 at 3:12am - health - by chairlee (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML

#6185536
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24791) - you deserved it (9764)

On 11/06/2009 at 6:37pm - health - by jellybean (woman) - United States



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